Most of the breast militants resent other people’s nudity or excretions unless it’s exactly the same as theirs.

All the militant BS is going to make it hard for child-bearing age women to get or keep jobs. Companies don’t want to put up with militants of any type. Yeah, I know it’s the law, it’ll just force companies to be sneaky.

Now. Breastfeeding. Yes. SUCK IT. How clever! “Suck it!” I get it! I am smart like that.

I nursed my child as long as she wanted, which was to the age of just about two and a half. Yep, I was shooting for that 2-year mark as my goal…NOT 6 months (helloooo?), NOT a year. Why do we always think we know better in this country than the rest of the world, when CLEARLY we don’t?

Bella was nursed at restaurants, from the lowest to the highest, at malls, in stores, in CHURCH, standing in lines, at Razorback football and basketball games…you name it! I never once, not ever, got so much as a crosswise look or one single comment, unless it was a brief, approving smile from a fellow parent. And believe me, I was positively SPOILING for a fight that never came to me. Darn it.

As for lazy, to my mind doing it my way WAS the “lazy” option! I can’t imagine having to get UP OUT OF BED multiple times per night, mix a bottle, warm it, get baby up, feed baby, get baby back to sleep, go back to bed…then what, repeat until I’m insane? No thanks! My baby never cried in the night, not once, ever. She made, at the most, little grunting sounds and searching guestures. I put her to my breast, nursed her, and went right back to sleep. I can’t honestly say either of us ever really fully woke. In infancy, she was in an Arm’s Reach co-sleeper attached to my bed, then later when it was safe, in the bed with me, between me and the wall.

I never lost a minute’s sleep or suffered any sleep-deprivation symptoms or stress. Lazy? ME!

I think that’s half the problem with these “Mommy Wars” bullshit. Because we all feel like we have to be polite to eachother.

You can’t breastfeed? You can’t stay home? I respect that. I respect Anon’s reasons for not breastfeeding. It was a mental issue for her.

What I’m talking about are those mothers who went to the bottle of formula and didn’t care what was best for their child. They went for formula because it meant one less thing they had to do and they could pass off the feedings. I’m not talking about mothers who could not breast feed or could not pump. Or had vaild reasons not too.

I am honest about my shortcomings as a mother and I own up to them. I think we’ve made formula so normal that no one feels like they have to own up to it.

I think you should feel guilt for not giving your child breastmilk if you are capable. Just like I feel guilt that I can’t send my kids to private school and that I can’t seem to turn the tv off more often.

Why is it suddenly so wrong for us to feel any guilt about how we mother? I know we all can’t dwell …shit, then we’d dwell more than we’d mother.

I think the Kaiser said it best when he was talking me down from one of the many Mommy guilt episodes I had he said, roughly “it’s good you feel bad. It’s good you feel like you could have done it better. You SHOULDn’t be satisfied. Because you should always want it EVEN better for your children.”

I think we can support eachother and be honest with eachother. I feel guilt. And I think we can ALWAYS do better and try harder.

I’m not going to be satisfied. And I’m not going to hold back how I feel just because it is seen as nonsupportive. My support is tough love.

I want you to examine how you mother. I want to examine how I mother. So we can all do better and do what is best for those kids.

Choices should always be secondguessed. When we stop that, what are we left with? The idea that just any choice is always ok?

Sorry, not for me.

Having a kid is the hardest goddamn job on the planet, and we all make choices in order to do the best possible job we can. And sometimes that DOES involve taking care of ourselves as well.And I think that’s something you yourself know about. You’ve blogged about it very honestly here.

Not everyone can breastfeed. Not everyone can stay home. We all have to do the best we can in the situation we have–and there aren’t always as many choices as we’d like there to be.

Look, how are we going to get MEN to accept publically nursing moms if women get so self righteous about doing the “right thing” that they alienate non-nursing mothers by making them feeling guilt for their choices?

We need sympathy and support for all of us with this “mother” of a job. Not judgemental mudslinging. That hurts us all.

But I certainly don’t understand mothers who really have no excuse other than lazyness and selfishness. Believe me, I know some. They would much rather bottle feed with formula so someone else can look after their kid than be strapped down to breastfeed.

What I’m trying to say is that it is easy to look at someone bottle feeding their child and say “look at her she doesn’t care or want the best for her child” (believe me it has happened), and you don’t know her situation at all.

And Harvard isn’t suited for everyone, even it is an option.

Personally, I think mothers who choose not to breastfeed (and when I say choose…I mean, they were educated about how it is the best thing in the world and then decided they did not want too…not those mothers who were physically unable or had to return to work and couldn’t pump, or were on meds…whatever…I’m talking about the ones that just decided they didn’t want too)not only made a poor decision, but could be seen as very selfish. I’m going to spend my life trying to give my kids the best in every way possible, for the best start possible. I can’t imagine having the choice to give them one of those best starts and just saying “Nah, formula seems easier.”

I don’t think I ever called myself a better mother. I think you read into my post. Trust me, I screw up plenty. But I will never understand anyone who just decided not to give breastmilk to their kid, if they were capable.

It’s like me saying…hmmm…should the kids attend Harvard or community college…well, Harvard is the best and it’s readily here on my chest…but community college is soooooo much easier.

And people are so weird. I was in the ER with my daughter in December – nursed her discreetly – and everytime the male nurse came in, he was all weird – like dude, you look at buttholes and shit – why are you so frazzled at a nursing mom??