November 14, 2007
Pixar, Can We Talk?
It’s November and naturally that means my children have that ‘fine one week’, ’snotty and puking the next’ thing going on. It means when Ratatouille comes out on DVD, and we’ve been couped up in the house for a week with some random preschool virus, I go to the store to get it right away.
Now. I’ve talked about this issue before…but can I just please, say this again…just in case you didn’t hear me way-back-when before CARS came out…
STOP SHOWING MY SON YOUR NEW MOVIE A YEAR BEFORE HE GETS TO SEE IT STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR I’M BRINGING HIM UP TO NORTHERN CALIFORNIA AND LETTING YOU PIXAR SADISTS BABYSIT HIS ASS WHILE HE WHINES FOR 5 HOURS STRAIGHT AND DEMANDS TO KNOW EXACTLY HOW MANY DAYS UNTIL WALL*E IS OUT IN THEATRES AND WHY HE CAN’T SEE THE ROBOT NOW AND WHY DO THEY SAY HE IS COMING AND WHEN IS HE COMING AND CAN WE WATCH THE PREVIEW 40 TIMES IN 50 MINUTES SO MOMMY’S HEAD EXPLODES AT MERELY THE SIGHT OF THAT RESTAURANT TABLE WHERE SOME STUPID BRAINSTORMING SESSION TOOK PLACE TO CREATE THIS FUCKING ROBOT THAT I NOW HOPE DIES A FIERY DEATH AT THE END OF THIS DAMN MOVIE
We’re going to buy your shit anyway. You’re not getting any more marketing leverage here. We’re a captive and totally sold audience. All you are doing is making my life hell. HELL.
So really, I see two options here…you can release WALL*E now, or you can send a letter of explanation to my robot-loving son giving him solid reasons (that means I don’t want to hear “to generate buzz” “to market more toys” or “to pump up the hype before the box office release”) why he has to wait until late summer of 2008. I fully understand you need a few good months of hype…but HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD THINK of the PARENTS.
You make amazing movies. They are kid movies, and yes we adults love them too. But I have to ask-DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND KIDS AT ALL? You don’t even MENTION santa is coming until about Halloween, because you KNOW they will be through the ROOF until December 25th. You don’t tell them you are going to DisneyWorld a YEAR before you go.
THIS IS BASIC PARENTING HERE PIXAR. GET WITH THE PROGRAM.
I can swear on my womb that you don’t need to worry about selling us WALL*E toys. We’re buying them. It’s just a GIVEN. My wallet is yours.
Now release the fucker early or babysit my kid. Take your pick.
Posted by Queen of Spain @ 9:02 pm • Count Waffles, Royal Pain, Royal Rant, Stepford Crazies, kill me now
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November 14th, 2007 at 10:53 pm, MammaLoves Says:
Ahh. Making them babysit. That’s a brilliant idea!!
November 14th, 2007 at 11:10 pm, Jay Says:
As usual, you make a compelling point. Me, I live for the mini-movies that come before.
November 15th, 2007 at 5:34 am, Suburban Oblivion Says:
A-fucking-men.
November 15th, 2007 at 6:53 am, Shash Says:
Maybe they will read this and let you be part of the test audience, allowing you to view the movie a little sooner than the rest.
We haven’t opened Ratatouille yet. I’m sure I’ll have similar issues at Casa CrazedMommy when we do. Ugh.
Shash
P.S. Scamp misses Count Waffles and Princess Peanut. Asked me just yesterday with a houseful of people when they can come play again. Was not happy with my answer.
November 15th, 2007 at 9:24 am, Maggie Ginsberg-Schutz Says:
BEST. ENTRY. EVER.
November 15th, 2007 at 11:43 am, Queen of Spain Says:
So Mammaloves and I were thinking maybe we’ll all just drive up to their office doors, knock, drop off all the kids, and leave to get some drinks.
November 15th, 2007 at 12:35 pm, dana Says:
I took Dawson to see Ratatouille in the theater and we loved it. I never planned on buying the DVD — but he saw a commercial advertising it and he said, “Mumma, we go buy dis Rat-ta-too-ee, kay?”
And he saw the Wall*E preview and wasn’t even intrigued. I’m surprised myself.
We can swap kids for a week if you’d like.
November 16th, 2007 at 7:43 pm, QueenJean Says:
love your blog! thanks for sharing…funny article..i agree bout all the mega advertising
November 16th, 2007 at 10:43 pm, OMSH Says:
We don’t have cable or dish or ANY television stations, but we do have a tv and a dvd player - WHICH MEANS that we live and die by the video.
AND ALSO?
That I agree.
This coming from a mom who has children that take NOTES during previews of movies they want to rent when they come out.
We’ve been waiting FOREVER for that freakin’ Cinderella hits the real world movie.
November 17th, 2007 at 6:54 am, Chris Says:
Don’t worry….they’re just preparing Count Waffles to be able to endure things like a 4 hour pre-game show for the Super Bowl when he’s older;)
Funny post Queenie!
November 17th, 2007 at 7:37 am, susan Says:
Really great post! Thank heavens, never had to deal with that kind of thing when I brought up my kids!!!
November 17th, 2007 at 8:55 am, Andrea Says:
Oh God. My daughter is a hard-core Pixar fan. So much so, when you ask her what she wants to be when she grows up, she says (I kid you not), “I want to be an animator at Pixar.”
She watches all thespecial features roughly 19384756187356 more times than the actual movie. She recognizes the directors by name.
Thanks for the warning, as we’re holding on to the rat movie for her birthday. I’ll brace myself now.
November 17th, 2007 at 5:15 pm, kristen Says:
best thing ive ever seen, great point… very well said… you are my new hero
November 17th, 2007 at 5:24 pm, Laura Says:
Absolutely TRUE! My son, who has been a die-hard car fanatic since the day he was born (ok, that might be a *slight* exaggeration) was on pins and needles for a full year-and-a-half before CARS came out because whatever Pixar movie (was it Toy Story 2?) had a preview for it on the DVD. For a full 6 months before it was actually out, he could tell me what day it was coming out. By the last month he was counting down the DAYS! InSANE! Yes, we should drop the kids off to them until opening day. Let them deal with the insanity.
November 17th, 2007 at 8:19 pm, Wendy Piersall Says:
Stumbled! That rocked!
November 18th, 2007 at 12:24 pm, Deb on the Rocks Says:
I wanted my kids hopped up for their next hit so that when we scored it, they would be in comatose replay land for 2 weeks solid. Plus, you can use the “We will NOT go to Cars in 6 months if you keep acting like this” thing much longer than you can use Santa.
November 19th, 2007 at 7:27 am, tori Says:
I know exactly what you are talking about here. My youngest is always talking about the next movie that he wants to see.
Is it just me, or does Wall*E look/sound like E.T. a little bit?
November 20th, 2007 at 4:18 pm, L.A. Daddy Says:
Hmm. They’ve got you talking about the movie. For free. A year in advance.
Not only are you already hooked and captive, but you’re already talking about it. Why stop now?
Of course, my kid is eternally anxious about the release of a film that does not and never will exist. She keeps seeing that damn animated spy girl from the e-surance commercials and demands I buy her that movie…
January 30th, 2008 at 6:09 pm, sue Says:
i have a 35 yr.ole son who, has been in prision an jail to nummerous to dicuss,what is bothering me is that this person i gave birth to has been out of work since christmas,being out of work is something he done to himself misusing company gas card,anyways he has bumming around sleeping anywhere a person will let him selling an doing coccaine ,he is a predator of girls that have just turned of age ,so he can manipulate them to drive him around anything he wants them to do ..he uses me as a terrible person to make people for sorry for him , iam so embarrsed of this person i want to leave this town i dont know what to do
April 16th, 2008 at 9:00 am, Go Read It Today, Saturday, November 17, 2007 Says:
[...] Hell yeah. [...]
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:30 am, Pamela Says:
I actually loved how excited my son got about the movie. He’s 6. He marked the date Wall-e comes out on his calendar, he enjoyed the Wall-e website for a month or so, he read the book (I told him it would ruin the movie for him but he said “mommy, you always say to read the book before you see the movie” I was talking about movies that were actually books first, but he had me there). And I loved all the little pictures he drew. Next time your kid whines about when a movie is coming, get him a calendar so he can figure it out himself. By the time the movie came out we were all so excited we made a family event out of it. And we weren’t disappointed, he loved every minute of it and my husband and I just enjoyed watching his face during the movie.
And I did get him a Wall-e toy — which he loves and it hasn’t left his side. The stories he acts out with it are amazing. So it’s nothing but love for Pixar here. 