Comments on: And With That, She’s Gone http://queenofspainblog.com/2008/07/16/and-with-that-shes-gone/ Thu, 18 Mar 2010 11:20:14 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Jane @ What About Mom http://queenofspainblog.com/2008/07/16/and-with-that-shes-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-62015 Jane @ What About Mom Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:22:26 +0000 http://queenofspainblog.com/?p=870#comment-62015 I still remember that my (very busy, very important) doctor-father never attended any of my middle school basketball games. Does that make me a rotten, selfish, still-immature kid? Sometimes I wonder if these feelings are society-induced guilt or mothering/fathering heart-tugs we maybe should listen to. How do you tell if a feeling comes from the external world or your own conscience/heart/mind? I still remember that my (very busy, very important) doctor-father never attended any of my middle school basketball games. Does that make me a rotten, selfish, still-immature kid?

Sometimes I wonder if these feelings are society-induced guilt or mothering/fathering heart-tugs we maybe should listen to.

How do you tell if a feeling comes from the external world or your own conscience/heart/mind?

]]> By: Tootsie Farklepants http://queenofspainblog.com/2008/07/16/and-with-that-shes-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-61974 Tootsie Farklepants Sat, 19 Jul 2008 04:04:03 +0000 http://queenofspainblog.com/?p=870#comment-61974 Erin, I think I remember that you and I live pretty close to one another. I LOVE the preschool my daughter went too. She'll be starting kindergarten this fall. Email if you're interested in the name/location/deets. Erin, I think I remember that you and I live pretty close to one another. I LOVE the preschool my daughter went too. She’ll be starting kindergarten this fall. Email if you’re interested in the name/location/deets.

]]> By: Jan Richards http://queenofspainblog.com/2008/07/16/and-with-that-shes-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-61963 Jan Richards Fri, 18 Jul 2008 03:12:51 +0000 http://queenofspainblog.com/?p=870#comment-61963 We each have this type of angst - many times - until our children have finally grown and flown. Conflicts with our oldest daughter's "state occasions" included my grad school graduation (her second birthday), a three-week business trip I had to Germany (her kindergarten graduation), and a party honoring a SJ Mercury News Pulitzer win for 1989 earthquake reporting (her sixth birthday). There are others for our son, as well (when he reached his goal of breaking a 5.00 mile and when he made a triple play). Still, our children know that when the pressure is on, and when they need us to be there for the unexpected and often absolutely most essential times, somehow, some way, we will be there. Our daughter, now 24, needed some now-infrequent open-ended talking time last night. I carved the time out and protected it from all takers. I was there. I think it helped. So ultimately the angst-rich juggling works. When will our children will fully understand the difficulty of some of our decisions, some of which they liked, and some they did not? When they get to make them, themselves. My children haven't yet opened the door to the "NOW I understand, Mom!" moments. I still have plenty of moments like that of my own, which I'm constantly surprised to find. I often wonder, as I go through them, what my mother's experience was with the comparable milestones of her life. I wasn't curious then. I am now, very much. And NOW I understand, or think I might. We each have this type of angst – many times – until our children have finally grown and flown.

Conflicts with our oldest daughter’s “state occasions” included my grad school graduation (her second birthday), a three-week business trip I had to Germany (her kindergarten graduation), and a party honoring a SJ Mercury News Pulitzer win for 1989 earthquake reporting (her sixth birthday). There are others for our son, as well (when he reached his goal of breaking a 5.00 mile and when he made a triple play).

Still, our children know that when the pressure is on, and when they need us to be there for the unexpected and often absolutely most essential times, somehow, some way, we will be there. Our daughter, now 24, needed some now-infrequent open-ended talking time last night. I carved the time out and protected it from all takers. I was there. I think it helped. So ultimately the angst-rich juggling works.

When will our children will fully understand the difficulty of some of our decisions, some of which they liked, and some they did not? When they get to make them, themselves.

My children haven’t yet opened the door to the “NOW I understand, Mom!” moments. I still have plenty of moments like that of my own, which I’m constantly surprised to find. I often wonder, as I go through them, what my mother’s experience was with the comparable milestones of her life. I wasn’t curious then. I am now, very much. And NOW I understand, or think I might.

]]> By: Do you feel guilty when you leave your kids for a trip? Or do you do the Carlton dance? - Moms On Issues - Work It, Mom! http://queenofspainblog.com/2008/07/16/and-with-that-shes-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-61956 Do you feel guilty when you leave your kids for a trip? Or do you do the Carlton dance? - Moms On Issues - Work It, Mom! Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:04:29 +0000 http://queenofspainblog.com/?p=870#comment-61956 [...] Queen of Spain wrote an excellent piece about traveling mom guilt yesterday. I travel for work, for fun, and for my activist extracurricular activities. My traveling mom guilt is no more for any trip. Society tells us, inscribes in us, that “fact” that moms should always be with the kids. Yes, I also think that it is written in our genes and hearts as well. Yet there is also that part of us that yearns for a few hours or days away from being mom. As I tell my daughter, “Mom” is my title, not my name. Elvis Costello will remind you that my name is Veronica. [...] [...] Queen of Spain wrote an excellent piece about traveling mom guilt yesterday. I travel for work, for fun, and for my activist extracurricular activities. My traveling mom guilt is no more for any trip. Society tells us, inscribes in us, that “fact” that moms should always be with the kids. Yes, I also think that it is written in our genes and hearts as well. Yet there is also that part of us that yearns for a few hours or days away from being mom. As I tell my daughter, “Mom” is my title, not my name. Elvis Costello will remind you that my name is Veronica. [...]

]]> By: Inarticulate Fumblings http://queenofspainblog.com/2008/07/16/and-with-that-shes-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-61951 Inarticulate Fumblings Thu, 17 Jul 2008 02:08:40 +0000 http://queenofspainblog.com/?p=870#comment-61951 Know I've been MIA and that this comment has nothing to do with your posting... but... in case you're interested, our travel blog is up and running while we're away. Peace - IF www.ahopskipandajump.blogspot.com Know I’ve been MIA and that this comment has nothing to do with your posting… but… in case you’re interested, our travel blog is up and running while we’re away. Peace – IF

http://www.ahopskipandajump.blogspot.com

]]> By: veronica http://queenofspainblog.com/2008/07/16/and-with-that-shes-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-61947 veronica Wed, 16 Jul 2008 16:41:13 +0000 http://queenofspainblog.com/?p=870#comment-61947 *sigh* I could have written this post...in fact I think I have a few times in the past. It's awesome being active & a mom and it sucks all at the same time. But yes...remember that the work you do, that I do, that we all do is to help make this world a better place for our lil ones. My daughter starts kindergarten this fall as well. ***hugs** *sigh* I could have written this post…in fact I think I have a few times in the past. It’s awesome being active & a mom and it sucks all at the same time.

But yes…remember that the work you do, that I do, that we all do is to help make this world a better place for our lil ones. My daughter starts kindergarten this fall as well.

***hugs**

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