Comments on: Girls

By: Dave

Dave — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 23:23:59 +0000

You CAN avoid it, but it means having to put up with being the person who is different. You do have a choice though.

By: jessica

jessica — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 00:04:47 +0000

that is very good to write what happend

By: Hot Mommas Project

Hot Mommas Project — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 18:42:22 +0000

QoS,
What a gorgeous post. I remember watching, with mixed reactions, how people would fawn over my niece telling her how “gorgeous” she was. And she was, and is. However, when she was about 4 I taught her to say, “And I’m smart too.” The balanced message, I hope (cross fingers cross fingers) is the way. My aunt used to sit me down and do my makeup when I was younger. It was awesome. She rocks. We had fun. But I understood what really mattered. She was a major groomer. She came from a family of groomers. I happened to be more of the messier-food-in-my-hair-stuff-on-my-teeth gene pool. It didn’t matter. She loved me. My family loved me. Good hair day, bad hair day. That is what I remember. I guess I can be my own “female media” to my daughter. What messages am I putting out there? Here is my ticker: Not heroin chic. Not air brushed. Yes shopping is fun. Yes make up is fun. Ouch mommy poked herself in the eye doing makeup. Okay maybe makeup is not fun. Yes good brain. Yes good health. Yes good vibes. Yes love. Now let’s go to SEPHORA! Seriously, though, I am balancing my messages, crossing my fingers, and hoping it works.

For those of you thinking “Hot Mommas?” No worries – code for “Dynamic Women” – we’re a women’s leadership project. You need neither be “Hot” or a “Momma” to join our posse. Maybe someone will write their case on our site and THIS will be one of the issues/learnings in the case. Would be great.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 06:01:25 +0000

I’m dealing with similar issues with my daughter. The makeup I can cope with, even though I don’t generally wear it, my daughter loves it.

But the day she came home from kindergarten and told me that the boys only considered one of the girls in her class sexy!!! Just really throws me that 5 year olds are feeling that pressure already.

By: Queen of Spain

Queen of Spain — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 20:10:30 +0000

Elizabeth- are you telling my 3-year old to ‘grow up and deal with it?’

I just want to make sure I’m clear before I stick my verbal foot up your ass

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 18:53:22 +0000

This article is absurd. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being feminine and grooming yourself………your daughter will learn how to do these things from watching you. As far as the haircut, life is tough sometimes……grow up and deal with it.

By: Dorian aka coffeesister |_|)

Dorian aka coffeesister |_|) — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 05:12:02 +0000

The questioning’s inevitable, the comparisons are unavoidable but the key is acceptance.. We’ll discover the differences & wonder about our worth yet, if we can appreciate what we do know about ourselves, we have the strength to cope w/the mind games along the way.

I’m not a parent but had an amazing mum; most amazing in her honesty & utter belief in me. She raised me to revel in all that IS me which led me to either not care what isn’t or claim what can be. I’m supremely self-confident w/out being vain, completely self-assured despite the nagging questions, happily self-aware w/proud acceptance of the flaws that only enhance my unique beauty & it all started w/Momma striving to be her best self thus ensuring I was doing the same.

In other words, Erin, you’re already doing what you should. Don’t cringe when it comes to such issues either for that then teaches there’s a hidden message; just revel in being a girl & balance it w/being human.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
Case in point: Altho’ I hate how my gums show due to my overbite, w/out it, I wouldn’t have such a huge smile which is what people remember.

By: Sarcastica

Sarcastica — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 02:05:21 +0000

I wouldn’t know what to say either…

By: Kelly

Kelly — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 23:27:52 +0000

I can sooo relate to this post.
I grew up in a place where being pretty was very important – it was, in fact, all that girls were good for. I felt it early one, from the time I was placed on my first diet (I was 6), to my first beauty pageant, to the family gatherings where catty aunts and cousins remarked on other women. This feeling that my importance was inextricably linked to my appearance followed me for a long time.
I have two daughters now, ages 4 and 6. It is a tough balancing act as a mom to make sure that my girls feel secure in their appearances (we, too, have had the “she doesn’t like my hair” trauma at school) without placing too much emphasis on it. I want them to understand that inside beauty matters but you can hardly turn on the TV or look at a book without getting the measure that pretty matters.
I admire that you don’t believe it’s an easy fix – I don’t think it is either. But if you figure it out, let me know, okay?

By: MichelleB

MichelleB — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 21:29:23 +0000

As a single mom with two daughters, I’ve gone through the same type of thing only having to do with the divorce with my husband. Ever since we divorced and I sold the diamond engagement ring he gave me to http://www.idonowidont.com my two kids ask me what happened to my ring and their dad. They connect the two together. I told them I sold it so I could be happy. Kids are wiser than I thought.