Comments on: This Is What Girls Do … ?

By: Christy

Christy — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 03:36:19 +0000

Ironically, there are a lot of girls that aren’t so much into all the girly stuff, but are more tomboys and are a far cry from being a feminist. I think sometimes we trry too hard to point out our differences and stick to self-assigned labels.

I know it would probably horrify you if that little princess turned into a complete Paris Hilton girly-girl, but so what if she did and it is who she is and what makes her happy? And so what if she decides shopping and lunch isn’t all it is cracked up to be and wants to dig in the mud, climb trees, and race cars instead? Or maybe something in between or a little of both, lol.

I’m not in your shoes, but I would think as a feminist you don’t want to define her role any more than you feel that society has been known to define the role, nor should you fence yourself in a set “feminist” role. You aren’t letting anyone down (including yourself and your daughter) because you find shopping & lunch with your daughter fun. I think it is awesome.

By: :::::::::::: wife mom maniac ::::::::::::

:::::::::::: wife mom maniac :::::::::::: — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 05:53:09 +0000

I dunno, I live on a little crunchy hippy rural island and the girls here don’t do what you’re describing as typical girl stuff. My girls are both kinda tomboys who have taken to turning their my little ponies into zombies and who would much rather hang out at a pet store than a clothing store. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with anything you’ve written except to label what you have as being what girls do, because not all girls fit that description at all, this is not true, this is not what “girls do”. This is what many middle class girls who live in cities do, especially if it’s what their moms like to do, but the girls I know in my local little zone would rather climb trees, look for fairies and bugs in the forests, and shop for books than go shopping for pretty dresses and lunching. I don’t think your intent was wrong, but I think your labelling is somewhat anti-feminist because it puts a small circle around what girls do as if all girls are like you and your daughter, which they all most certainly are not. There are so many kinds of girls who do so many different things in so many different places all around the world.

Love yer blog btw, and hope you take my debate in good spirits

By: Funkidivagirl

Funkidivagirl — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 18:08:21 +0000

In the process of raising a 14 year old boy and a 7 year old girl, I have learned that most kids grow to like the “stereotypical” boy/girl stuff–no matter how much you try to make their world genderless.

I don’t see anything wrong with being “girly” with your daughter…especially if it was initiated by her. She’s a girl, after all. The important thing is that you had a good afternoon together.

By: pgoodness

pgoodness — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 02:45:42 +0000

No guilt necessary – women have to buy clothes, they might as well have fun and look good and bond with their daughters!! Nothing anti-feminist about spending time with her and having fun, whether it was shopping or at a monster truck rally.

She’s adorable, by the way!!

By: Erin W.

Erin W. — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:52:58 +0000

Okay – I think that in all fairness you are allowed girlie days with your daughter. One particular reason is that you don’t only have girlie days and that you are trying to instill important values in her, like that princesses can save themselves.

I was watching Fraggle Rock on DVD with my 4 year old daughter the other day. She’s very much into the whole “Mario and Luigi have to save Peach and Daisy” bit too… Anyway, so we’re watching the Fraggles and they are getting ready to put on a play. Red is playing a princess in the play and the Fraggle that’s directing tells her that one of the other Fraggle’s is to save her. “But I don’t need someone to save me!” she says. “I can save myself!”

I laughed out loud when she said that. It reminded me of a few of your posts.

So, no, I don’t think you should feel guilty for having a girlie day with your daughter. Feminism isn’t necessarily about breaking gender roles. I think it’s more about being woman enough to make the choice for yourself.

By: Swedish Pankakes

Swedish Pankakes — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 13:50:23 +0000

Come now, it’s silly to not want to do girlie things simply because they’re girlie things.

It’s no different than DOING girlie things simply because they’re girlie things.

And in defense of Miss Hilton . . . if she’s happy and content, then should she really change?

By: Adrienne

Adrienne — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 02:13:28 +0000

This is not only “what girls do”, it is what you and your daughter do. Anything you do together can be fun, whether it be shopping or cheering on the WIngs, or playing Rock Band. Know that you are instilling in her not only feminist but feminine values.

And yeah, they all do it i.e. Caitlyn last week at the Bridal store DON”T ASK!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/photo.php?pid=421482&id=1389514696

By: Meghan

Meghan — Sun, 31 May 2009 19:57:09 +0000

Mine (who is the same age as yours) asked me to paint her nails. My son (who is the same age as your son) said “That’s only for girls”, and my daughter agreed.
I sat speechless. I don’t want my son to think he can’t ever wear nail polish because he’s a boy, cause some guys do. I don’t want my girl to think she has to wear nail polish because she’s a girl, cause some girls don’t.
How do we teach them to ignore stereotypes and just do what makes them happy?

By: edi

edi — Sun, 31 May 2009 19:08:23 +0000

I de-feminized my daughter. Wish I hadn’t, but I didn’t have the femininity in me to teach. There’s a power in our inner woman, our femininity, that we need to embrace.

By: badassdadblog

badassdadblog — Sun, 31 May 2009 17:59:28 +0000

By the way, your daughter is mini-you. Adorable.