Comments on: I Knew This Was Coming- Thunderdome

By: Carolie

Carolie — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 12:00:37 +0000

My mother did something similar to Redneck Mommy and Shira. She’d say “I don’t want to HEAR it.” Then she’d put the two fighters (usually me and the brother 18 months younger than I) in a room and close the door. We were not allowed to come out until we could come out with our arms around each other, smiling.

Of course, we’d always try a couple of times to pretend, arms on one another’s shoulders, pinching the ever living shit out of each other, grimacing with big fake smiles. Mom would raise one eyebrow and give us That Look…and back we’d go into the room. If we refused or threw ourselvees on the floor or whatever, we would entirely cease to exist for her until we got off the floor and went back into the room.

EVERY TIME, I was convinced I would never, ever, ever be able to put my arms around that horrible troll….and EVERY TIME we were buddies again within 20 minutes. I think it helped that instead of hating each other, Mom became our common enemy for that short time…

By: Pamela Joan Carter

Pamela Joan Carter — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 01:12:02 +0000

I believe your kids are having the same problem everyone that ever uttered Spears’ name is having….it’s called BreatheHeavy.com. Every time the site gets reactivated wars erupt in people’s living room. I’ve boycotted it personally myself. Good luck with the ‘living room wars.’

By: Lauren

Lauren — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 02:22:38 +0000

My sis and I are 13 months apart and we were either best friends or mortal enemies – never a middle ground. They’ll swing back in the other direction but it might not be soon. Sorry mama.

By: Miss Grace

Miss Grace — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 23:12:46 +0000

I am one of five. And the fighting will continue, but there will also still be the hugs and love. I often tell people that my sister is my best friend and my worst enemy. No one knows me so well, and no one knows quite so well how to piss me off. We started getting along really well again (consistently) in college. Seriously. College.

By: Kathy

Kathy — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 20:28:04 +0000

My husband thinks we are the only ones whose kids fight constantly (boys – ages 10 and – but I tell him repeatedly that everyone’s kids do! I am looking forward to their twenties, when they will happily speak to each other in a civilized tone again!

By: Yo

Yo — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 19:05:56 +0000

my mom used to tell my little sister and i that “the first one to cry, gets IT.” where “it” = spanked. we didn’t think this was fair. but it kept the crying to a minimum. which i think was her plan.

oh, look. redneck mommy and mr lady suggest LOVE.

this might also work.

By: feefifoto

feefifoto — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 18:37:11 +0000

There’s nothing you can do to prevent the fighting, at least nothing I’ve found. Still, I’ve found ways to remind my kids that they do love each other, even though it’s frequently overshadowed by the fighting. When the lights go out and my son gathers flashlights and lanterns and holds on to his sister so she won’t be frightened, or when he’s sick and she gets him a snack or a blanket, I remark on how they take care of each other. I hope they’ll remember it. I think they will.

By: shira

shira — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 14:38:33 +0000

I do something similar to Redneck Mommy – I make my boys (26 months apart in age) give each other a hug and a kiss if they start to hit – and if it gets really ugly I put both of them in their room (they share a room) and make them stay in there until they get along again.

I also take away any toys under disagreement… etc… I figure it’s better for them to be annoyed with me than with each other.

@shiraabel

By: Jill

Jill — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 14:03:28 +0000

My 4yo has never gotten used to the idea of his younger brother. There are glimmers of hope where they kind of interact with each other, but for the most part it’s entirely adversarial. I always thought that having two boys meant they’d automatically be best friends. I was wrong. Gah!

By: Christine

Christine — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 12:50:13 +0000

I have a lot of catch phrases and tools which work wonders:

“Oh my. You forgot how whacking your sister in the head is not showing love. That’s okay. I’ll give you a chance to practice being loving by picking up all the toys and giving her a break.”

“Holy cow. That poor toy must be very popular if you’re fighting over it like that. I think I’ll just keep it for myself.”

“What an interesting word to call your brother. I bet you could come up with some kind words, however. Why don’t you sit here until you can tell me five things you love about him.” (at which point you have a good 4 1/2 hours of waiting)

And, of course, in all things, there is usually a good dose of, “Yeah, I know. Sucks for you.”