Dearest Belinda Gomez-

I’m a Republican & pro NRA and I didn’t read this post like that. Please get your head out of your ass. Erin is concerned for the safety of her children. In case your city doesn’t get newspapers you may not realize that bright, curious children die every year from playing with guns. These are kids that know where the guns are and may even know how to use them. They simply make a mistake thinking the gun isn’t loaded when it is.

Guns are an age appropriate responsibility. As our ability to judge isn’t fully developed until around the age of 25, it’s reasonable to be weary of guns around children.

And yes, falling out of moving vehicle can kill you as well, and if not kill then injure. It is the responsibility of the parent (although typically it’s the mother) to protect the child. It is not your place to make the decision for someone else – and accusing Erin of false superiority when it’s obvious that she wrote this piece so carefully is just ridiculous.

-s

Riding in the back of a truck? Please.

I think you enjoy feeling different and superior to your in-laws.

Something you might want to bring up with the in-laws and your husband next time they propose something that you feel is unsafe is that while it might be perfectly normal for some children to participate in those activities, your particular children don’t normally do these things and might not know how to handle them. Riding in the back of a pick-up is normally fine, given that the driver knows the kids are there, they aren’t out on a busy road, and they aren’t going too fast. In other words, a ride out to the back field is probably fine, a ride across town definitely isn’t. But your kids haven’t ridden in the back of a pick-up before. They don’t know that there can be sudden bumps, that they must remain sitting, that they have to be still. I did it as a kid not that long ago, and as long as everyone knows how to act safe, it is safe.

The gun issue on the other hand, was not safe. Children can handle guns suitable to their size (e.i. small bb guns, maybe small rifles), that won’t have too much of a kickback, after they have been instructed on what is safe, and while they are under very close supervision. But it sounds like your kids had never even been close enough to touch a gun before, and were just handed them and expected to know the safety rules with a minimum of instruction. This is one of those situations where I would trust your husband to keep them safe– not let them stay alone with a more relaxed in-law. I certainly would insist that they not know where the guns are kept, though, and that the guns be kept out of reach, or locked up. Rural kids who grew up around them are generally careful about guns because they’ve seen what they can do. City kids who’ve only seen them in video games or movies, or maybe not at all, don’t know how to handle them.

Overall, I think that your worries here speak of a need to talk with your husband about discomfort with certain things, and point out the reasons why you think that what may have been normal for him growing up may not be something your children should just jump into. It’s a matter of the difference between your husband’s parent’s family’s culture, and the culture that you and your husband should be building together for your own children. Most of all, I think that mothers should remember that yes, we do give birth, but fathers do have a say as well, and they have just as strong a desire to keep our kids safe as we do– they just express it differently, that’s all. Compromise where you can, and trust one another, so that when you do have to put your foot down on an issue, you’ll be taken seriously rather than brushed off as just another ‘helicoptor mom’. And take care not to be the ‘helicoptor mom’ either! Kids need to learn about gun safety, even if they’ll never be around guns at your house. As long as everyone knows the dangers, everyone can stay safe, without too much worry.

But the other 10%…. I know what you mean.