Comments on: Something Old, Something New

By: Lisse

Lisse — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:47:36 +0000

Can I ask you from experience to tread carefully here? Our children will generally emulate the examples of their parents, but not exactly. My own mother was deeply disappointed when I announced my engagement. For months, I couldn’t get off the phone with her without crying, but eventually it came out that she thought I was throwing my life away by getting married before I had actually accomplished anything. Of course her actions in the years leading up to that point gave me the same message, and probably pushed me further from the direction she wanted me to go.

What she didn’t realize was that I would accomplish so much more in the first few years after getting married than I had in my first 26 years. A supportive partner only helped.

Your daughter is 4. A “frilly stage,” as I call it, is really quite normal, and you will most likely see a “tomboy stage” in a couple of years. Most likely, she’ll find a balance, as most of us not indoctrinated in pageant/cheerleader culture tend to do.

By: Christy

Christy — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:02:37 +0000

Hey now…my sister wore white chucks to her wedding. Red stripe on the sole to match her red accented wedding gown.

But then again she did wear candy pink connies to her prom too…

By: Al_Pal

Al_Pal — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 09:45:46 +0000

Wow. Heavy. Beautifully written; visceral.
I, too, was told I didn’t need a man. I really enjoy the one I have.
Being doted on is awesome.

By: Amber

Amber — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 06:10:56 +0000

Those kids have a way of smacking us right in the middle of our issues. My own 4-year-old went through a bout of boy troubles recently. It was not easy to watch, and it filled me with a great fear and dread of her teen years and beyond. It’s hard to watch them go off and do their own thing, especially when it’s not the thing we want for them. Gah.

By: happybroad

happybroad — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 05:29:29 +0000

I always thought I would be the parent who copes with the daughters growing up, better than my husband would.But as my 12 year old grows up, I find myself panicking at the thought! And negotiating that route of balancing what they need and want with my needs and wants for them, is proving difficult!

By: Queen of Spain

Queen of Spain — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 05:05:57 +0000

I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready. For ANY OF THIS growing up nonsense. It’s NONSENSE I SAY!!!! gah.

By: dotlizard

dotlizard — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 05:02:38 +0000

Converses? How simply awesome! At my daughter’s wedding, the entire male portion of the wedding party was in black suits and black Converse high-tops. Even my son, then age 8 (so cute!). My daughter wore shoes, but they were sparkly flip-flops, to show off her toe manicure.

But by then I was ready.

It’s hard to get ready for such a thing.