Pregnant like a rock star

I only caught a little, little bit of the Grammy’s last night. I admit I love award shows. I love them, now that I no longer have to work them. I promise you, the red carpet is your very worst day at work times 10. Even if Tom Hanks knows your name. Just trust me on this.

Of course, the part of the show I did catch last night was Bono kissing Gwen Stefani’s baby bump. Adorable. And maddening all at the same time.

Never in my life has pregnancy looked so hip. And sexy. And cute.

Who looks like that while pregnant? Spare me the team of stylists, hairdressers, make up people excuse. I went and got stuff done while I was pregnant. I never, never looked like that.

I remember when I was pregnant with Count Waffles, and ready to pop. I was nearly 200lbs, miserable and looking like trailer trash. There really is no other way to describe it. No clothing fit. So I was mostly in one pair of fire engine red pj’s. Whooo sexy. I was getting those hormonal zits. I had read some article on hair dye seeping into my scalp, getting into my blood stream, and making its way to Count Waffles brain for a life of retardhyermyglioitis or something, therefore dying my hair was out of the question. So I was this dirty blonde/brown stringy mass of yarn on my head. Not pretty. Not sexy. Really not rock star. And for a kick in my ass, Catherine Zeta Jones was pregnant and on the red carpet back then for the Oscars.

Seriously…look at that photo. Beautiful. She fucking glows, people.

So with Princess Peanut I tried to step it up a bit. I wasn’t afraid to dye my hair. I wasn’t afraid to get a few more maternity shirts.

In the end: same result. I’m looking like I just stepped out of Wal-Mart with my miracle whip and 6-pack.
To review. Don’t watch award shows.


  1. Yes well, that would be why I NEVER, NEVER EVER took pictures while I was pregnant. That way in my own jaded memory I can say, “Yes, I did, I looked just like Catherine when I was pregnant.” And you know what, no one can contest it, because there’s just no evidence.

    Nope, none, nada.


    p.s. I think you looked very cute in that prego picture, not that you could see your face, just your lovely hair and a little ball of a belly. Did you gain any weight???

  2. Ok….I do have to say that I don’t think I’ve ever seen any other celebrity gain as much weight as Catherine…HOWEVER she does have that “pregnancy glow” that I’ve always heard so much about but apparently NEVER been lucky enough to have….

    BUT even though you might have gotten stuff done while pregnant…the stars spare NO expense to look good especially at the award shows..ya know?? Cuz I know you’ve seen some of the pictures in magazines of them caught with no makeup and hair not done right? OHHHHH…SCARY! They look worse then us.

    Which also means that we’re prettier…know why? Cause I don’t look that bad even on my worse day! I just think we’re so used to seeing the celebrities look great and that’s just not always the case.

    And you better believe that if I had a personal trainer, money to have my diet meals delivered every day, and the incentive of earning millions for starring in a movie…I would have a sweet ass body too!

    But back to reality…and that is: trying to eat good, get off my ass and exercise once in awhile and hopefully shed the rest of my pregnancy pounds before our summer trip to Michigan.

    Anyway, sorry this was so long…but you look good and so do I(I think??)and we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves…because despite not having millions like the celebs, I like my life!

  3. My wife and I both thought Gwen looked pretty bad, actually.. Well, it was more the dress, I suppose. Kinda looked like a military camo tent or something. She was absolutely glowing.

  4. Well, Gwen has only wanted a baby for FOREVER!!

    I didn’t watch the grammys. American Idol and Lost beat them out.

    I’m not sure about that dress, but she looks great! It’s so unfair.

    Well, w/ my 1st I didn’t gain any weight. I think I gained like 15 pounds, and was in my normal pants until about 8 months.

    With Jack…ENTIRELY different story. Oh god, I never want to be that roly poly again. Thank god there’s no pictures.

  5. Next time get the henna hair dye from Whole Foods! It’s all natural and won’t hurt the baby. Plus it washes out eventually so you’re not stuck with the root problem.

    It’s always hard to see yourself heavier by however much women gain when they are prego, when you’re so used to looking a certain way–or at least having some control over it. I gained 40 lbs during my pregnancy and it did kind of freak me out…but I really loved my big bell in the end and was equally as disappointed to lose it. Especially when my husband was just as attracted to me when I was pregnant as he was when I wasn’t. I loved being pregnant in the summer so I could be one of those pregnant women on the beach with the little skirted bathing suit. Hee hee

    P.S. Gwen had way too much makeup on. Doesn’t it make you wonder what she looks like without it? I think natural is better in most cases. She also would have looked much better with her her down and softer.

  6. Maybe how we look when we are pregnant is what ultimately separates us from the stars. I know I never glowed, or looked anything less than a two- hundred pound hippo about to take your fries and eat them herself. Don’t mess with the hippo!

  7. It is all smoke and mirrors.

    Smoke and mirrors.

  8. It’s TRUE about the stylists, makeup artists, etc etc… anyone (well, almost) can look great if they’ve got the moolah!

    You should have seen ME pregnant. You’d die laughing. Few photos exist, because I weighed 225# at delivery time!! Gads!

  9. I looked horrible pregnant. I had fugly red pants with that horrid panel. I had a horrible tshirt with a freaking teddy bear on it. There is only 1 pregnant picture of me in existance, and I had a kid on my lap to hide the belly.

  10. LMAO. I don’t even know what to say.

    Hey Queenie, don’t be so humble. Please post when you have something up on Blogher with a link!?!!!! I’d love to support you but honestly I don’t check the site much at all. I follow a dot mom. She posts when she posts LOL…. 🙂


  11. LMAO. I don’t even know what to say.

    Hey Queenie, don’t be so humble. Please post when you have something up on Blogher with a link!?!!!! I’d love to support you but honestly I don’t check the site much at all. I follow a dot mom. She posts when she posts LOL…. 🙂


  12. You look far better than I did when I was pregnant.

    I may have looked wretched, but I enjoyed every minute of it. (Well week 41 and 42 weren’t a lot of fun.)

  13. Celebrities will always look the best when they are pregnant and they are always *SO FASHIONABLE*! No frigging Motherhood for them. Let’s not even get into the giftbags they get at those awards shows. Hello from San Jose, CA! I’m new in the blogshphere!

  14. Let me say that you are really brave to post pregnancy pictures of yourself. Kudos to you! I wouldn’t even let my Hubby take pictures of me until a week before I delivered. And I only let him then because I was so slow that I couldn’t run away. I figured that seeing my belly in pictures was better than seeing my ass as I turned to waddle away.

    How long do you think it takes a team of stylists to give stars like CZJ that “glow”?

  15. Whenever I see one of those cute, petite pregnant women, I comment to my fiance, “I hope I’m cute when I’m pregnant.” I doubt it’ll happen that way, but there’s definitely a part of me that’s wishing.

  16. Anonymous says:

    I’m sitting here smiling reading all these comments from the mothers here. You have no idea how gorgeous all of you are. Whether you gain 200 pounds or not, when we see you all coming down the street you’re just so beautiful to us.

    So, give yourselves a break. You’ve done one of the most amazing things on this planet and you’ve done it beautifully in my opinion.

Speak Your Mind