Hippo Love

Naked and vulnerable, I was stepping into the shower this morning when I hear a tiny giggle behind me.

“Mommy, your butt is bouncy…like Gloria on Madagascar.”

Dejected, I shower and emerge to tell the Kaiser what his son thought of my ass.

“Wow,” said the Kaiser.

And then nothing. It was the typical male “if you can’t say anything nice” freeze.

Yes, the baby will be 1 at the end of next month. Yes, I’m still carrying a dozen or so extra pregnancy pounds. Yes, I’ve given up the diet while focusing on my mental health. I can honestly say chocolate is the reason I did not kill anyone during the worst of the post partum.

So, I suppose, it’s now time for my hippo ass and I to get back on the wagon. It is Fat Tuesday afterall.

Tomorrow starts my own Lent. I’m calling it the Hippo Diet. Who’s with me????


  1. I’m sorry, but I have to laugh… kids say the darndest things. But keep in mind (as I do when Miss Thing tells me that I have a big, big bum) that in comparison to a nearly-3-year-old bootie, you DO have a big ass! It’s just the difference between toddler and adult sizes. As for the bouncy comment, it could be worse… it could be dragging. ha ha!

    I’m just not helping, am I? Sorry, this post hit me as really funny. I wouldn’t worry about the Kaiser’s non-comment; I mean, he’s still interested, right? And I imagine you’ve got less far to go this time to return to your usual size than you did last time, since you weren’t on bedrest for six months the second time around, right?

  2. Well, I don’t celebrate (can you call it that?) Lent, but I’m with you. My belly matches hers. And I can’t blame pregnancy anymore. Just chocolate (and beer).

  3. I think the entire internet is having a down day today. Amazing how moods can take over people across the world.

    I’m so with you on the idea of a diet. My entire body resembles that hippo – round and big on the bottom and tummy, and very little up top where roundness counts.

    So what’s the plan for this Hippo Diet? I’ve got 20 pounds to lose just to get to my pre-pregnancy weight, which wasn’t an ideal to begin with. Another 20 pounds from there, and I’ll be getting closer to goal.

  4. Thank. You. For. Making. Me. Laugh. LOLOLOL.

    My son just told me the other day, while watching me get dressed, that I was no longer a tiny mommy but a round one.



  5. I’m in.
    I am more than likely joining a gym in the next couple of weeks too.
    But I have a hell of a lot more than 12 pounds to lose too 🙂

  6. Count me in — the hippo thing is just a little too close to home!

  7. Girl you kill me sometimes! My “baby” is almost a decade old right now, so what’s MY excuse?!

    My heads on straight, my “baby” is a happy well-adjusted kid, I managed to get outta debt (WHOOO HOOO!!) and I’m doing something that actually matters to me the rest of the time.

    Yeah, you might have a hippo ass, but so what? I’ll bet you’ve got a helluva lot more than that! It’s not fat, it’s armor, and there isn’t a mom out there that can’t use armor!

    Having said that…. yeah, I’m with ya. Are you doing the WW thing again this time? I could use a few new recipes. 🙂

  8. My favorite shower quote: “Pappa has a BIG belly button!”

    (Umm, that was NOT his belly button.)

  9. Yes well. You would be channeling our house AGAIN.

    Brad, Jr. has thought I was a hippo for … oh about 1 yr now.


    BTW – thought about you on Sat. Night, Jr’s school auctioned off a puppy.

    I made a note in my post to you, because I didn’t get here over the weekend.

  10. Thanks for your input about the PJs. I don’t why that was bugging me so much.

    Diet? Well, you know, I’d love to join you BUT I’m allergic to diets. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you though. 😉

  11. I just wrote an ‘Ode to Hippos’ on my blog a couple of days ago. You are I must be on the same wavelength. Going on WW when I get back from Tahoe next Monday. Wish me luck. Given up Being a XL for Lent.

  12. Oh man, kids will say anything, won’t they? Best of luck!

  13. I’ve been slacking too much lately. I’m in.

  14. By the way, it’s normal to hold onto about 10 extra pounds while you’re nursing…

  15. Is it sad to be a fellow hippo with no baby to offer up as an excuse?
    Of course, I blame the back surgeries. My physical therapist says she’s sure I’ll lose the weight when I start coming off my meds…which will be oh, in another 12-18 months.

  16. I am so with you! I have to get my jet-lagged fat butt out of bed and back into my exercise routine as well. What do I need to do to join in on the hippo diet? I can use all the help I can get…

  17. Remember Everyone:

    If my calculations are correct, a Becks Light is only one point.

  18. I just linked to this post at my blog – you are so funny and such an inspiration!

  19. Hilarious! Congrats on your perfect post award!

  20. I’m working on the hippo diet rules as we speak. Stay tuned.

  21. Out of the mouth of babes! LOL Congrats on your perfect post award.

  22. Not me. I’m a regular goddess of perfection…although… my son DOES like to pull up my shirt and smack my belly because it’s so smooshy and jiggles a bit…
    okay, so maybe, just maybe, I should join in on this hippo diet…hmmmmm =)

  23. That was hillarious 🙂

  24. While I was getting dressed the other day, my 2yo daughter (who is REALLY interested in bras), watched me put mine on and said the bra was to cover my “hiccups.” Wha? My hiccups? Oh….nipples!

    Went to the ob/gyn yesterday for the annual thing. Took my height and weight (depressing). While waiting for the doc, looked at a chart on the wall for calculating BMI. I was in the “obese” category. Ay yi yi!

    I’m in with the hippo diet. Though, I liked how sassy Gloria was. “Big girls” always tend to be sassy, in my opinion. I must have missed the day they were handing it out, cuz I don’t have any sassiness in me, but would desperately love some. Perhaps a better self-image would help!

  25. LOL. KIDS!

    That really is a perfect post!

    The Hippo Diet sounds great. What do we eat, though? 😉

  26. I’m just now getting to sit down to read some of my blog buddies and I have to say I snorted when I read this! How disturbingly honest those little munchkins can be. 🙂 The voice of truth for us all.

    Ditto the diet at my house. I need to post a fat picture of myself on the fridge for motivation. And then I’ll put one on the box of Krispy Kreme’s I just bought.

  27. My two year old called me “big butt” this morning. I think a dozen pounds would do me good. I tried the blogging to diet thing and didn’t get any support so perhaps joining your bandwagon will help.

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