Easter brings the bird flu and sugar comas

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Happy freaking Easter. We spent it at the Aquarium. What??? Like you thought we’d be a church???

Birds like to shit on my head.

Rumor has it this is good luck…but I think that was made up by the same people who claim rain on your wedding day is good luck. I know, let’s take something that SUCKS and pretend it’s good luck. Then it won’t seem so bad.

I got pooped on (oh, dear God the search hits I’m inviting here) at the Santa Barbara Zoo a few weeks ago.

I got pooped on at the Aquarium of the Pacific this weekend. The Lorakeet exhibit seemed like a great idea at the time. You can sort of see the crunch on my head.

Shortly after the pooping incident, I asked the Kaiser “Hey…do I have poop on me? I think I got pooped on?”

His response? “Uh…no…no poop.”

He later explained he *thought* I would freak out and it would ruin our day if I knew I had bird shit on my head and back. Whatever. Like I freak out. Ever. I’m so calm and cool and collected. He’s just a liar.

We’re going to ride on Thomas (jeez, that sounded dirty) in a few weeks. I’m taking bets on making it 3 for 3 on the bird shit thing. I’m offering 3-1 odds. Any takers?

Anyway. The Easter Bunny came. The Easter Bunny was only going to show up with some very small treats, and then Mrs. Easter Bunny felt guilty around 1130pm and hit the store where she found all Easter items already half off. Dear God I love me some Peeps. Left open for a few days so they get all hard. Looks like my daughter has inherited my Peep-lovin’ gene.

I’d like to clearly state that I have been trying very hard as of late to not go overboard. It’s really hard. The kids get so damn excited and happy. And when you watch them get excited and happy it just makes you want to make them even more excited and happy.

My brother and I got things like waterbeds for Easter. Along with baskets filled with solid chocolate bunnies and plastic eggs with hockey tickets and $50 bills inside. My parents were never more than middle class…but they literally gave us everything they had. The Kaiser, meanwhile…got some eggs and whatever bunny was generic and on sale. So you can imagine the fun he and I have when it comes to buying things for our children.

They don’t need that.
Yes they do.
They don’t even know any better.
We don’t need to spend any more money.
Too bad.

I’ll let you guess who says what up there.

I’m off to cook a feast of pierogies and potatoes and jello. Don’t ask. Let’s just say I meant to order a ham and forgot and now feel obligated to make something unique. And somehow I think it’s the chocolate bunnies and jelly beans that will have everyone full, not the feast.

Happy Bunny Day. Try not to get pooped on.


  1. “Happy Easter” says the bird! **pooooop** SPLAT!

    LMAO….sounds like something that would happen to me! I certainly hope it doesn’t happen a third time.

    I’m willing to bet that Kaiser is the one saying “Yes, they do.” & “So…” and “Too Bad.” Am I right? Am I? Am I? What did I win? 😉

    Our Easter was pretty benign…well except for the crime spree my children went on.

    We had Hamburger Helper for Easter lunch. Oh, yes…I THAT creative! We just had ham last weekend, so we’re pretty sick of it for a while.

  2. That’s a cute story. However, all you mom-bloggers are making me start to think about having kids! And I only recently got the mirena 5 year birth control plan! damn you mom-bloggers!

    Also, I realized that we kinda resemble each other, with our glasses and hair highlights and what-not. Here are a few photos I’m gonna attempt to include:


  3. Pierogies for Easter dinner? YUM!! That is 1000 times better than a ham! Especially if you are referring to ones made from scratch and not the Mrs. T’s variety (which will work though!)

    I too have been bird pooped on – and I do freak out!

    Happy Easter!!

  4. Reading your posts always cheer me right up!

    Even now. On Easter. After I’ve spent the entire day at my parents house, with my husbands whole family there (who I actually love, but the dynamics with the two are weird and stressful) and everyone’s children who are running on nothing but sugar and NO NAPS!

    You’re just wonderful. And I just love you.

    And the birds just love you so much that they can’t help but poop on you.

    That’s my theory.

  5. Wow, you got the awesome gifts as a kid for Easter! I got to hunt for plastic eggs with jelly beans and pennies in them. One usually had a quarter.

    Sorry about the Easter bird poop. Maybe it was some kind of birdie baptism? 😉

    Oh, and I love the new addition to the header!

  6. LOL, that’s hilarious. It sounds like it can be fun to have the occasional holiday free because there aren’t any grandparents living within driving distance. Wouldn’t know… never will… but someday we’ll have to claim a holiday away for US!

    The Aquarium sounds awesome on Easter. Pre-child, Slipshod and I escaped for a few years to the ski slopes of Tahoe on Christmas day. It was awesome. Very few folks out on the slopes on Christmas.

    And, can I just say, DANG about what you and your bro used to get as Easter presents?! What did you get for Christmas, real helicopters with pilots who took you anywhere you wanted to go? WOW!

  7. I do so love your blog. guaranteed to make me feel perky.

  8. I’ve never been pooped on…but, I’m always horribly nervous about the Seagulls at the beach. I know someday….SPLAT!

    Love the eyes on your princess….She looks Peep’d up, alright! You can almost see the sugar processing.

    Arianna was an egg hunting machine. She found all the eggs I hid in the really tough spots for the older kids. I think she tripled the amount of eggs as everyone else. Looks like she’ll be on a sugar high for a few weeks. (Although she nearly had a breakdown when her cousin traded her an egg for one of the ones that he colored. And then she looked down, and realized the egg he gave her was cracked. HOW DARE HE!! SHE WAS INCENSED!!)

  9. I get pooped on all the time. By babies and dogs. Although the poop is never directly aimed at me, I always seem to end the day with some sort of excrement on my body.

  10. My grandma tried to convince me of that same shit about how it’s good luck when I ran into her house crying when I was 12 because a bird had pooped on the shoulder of my ever so fashionable green windbreaker.

    I hope the remainder of your easter was poop free? I spent it at my mom’s house- cooking while she worked until 7. The Boyfriend and his mom came with me- Leah too. I was simultaneously drying and folding laundry and stirring pots, basting- whatever. Did he offer to fold the laundry? No.

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