…Just when I think I have Motherhood under control…

This is a cautionary tale, my friends.

Never take your children anywhere. Just leave them home. Don’t leave the house if you do not have a babysitter. The house is much, much safer than that crazy world out your door.

Even with the best of intentions, things will go wrong. Horribly, horribly, wrong.

I took the children to my favorite nursery. Since we’ve been gardening together all Spring, we’ve been frequenting our local “plant store” (as the Count calls it) on a semi-regular basis. Here is proof that all of our hard work is paying off:

But back to the story. When we go to the nursery the Count insists on pulling one of their red wagons behind him. The place has radio flyers for you to stack all your plants in. He also insists on picking out one of their many windmills to tote. Windmill in one hand, wagon in the other, he trudges behind me as I push a cart with the Peanut and sniff flowers and herbs.

As we wrapped up our latest trip, the Peanut was getting restless and we beelined for the checkout. I had maybe $25 in yummy plant goodness. The Count was happily dragging the wagon and I was plotting how to rip the windmill from his little hands at the last moment because I had no intentions of buying it.

Then it happened.

I’m not exactly sure how it occurred. But somewhere between me urging the Count to pick up the pace and the whole family turning an aisle corner…CRASH.

The front of the Count’s wagon and the back of his windmill-stick had taken out an ENTIRE SHELF OF GLASS FLOWER VASES.

An entire shelf.

The Count began to cry and scream. I, now holding the Peanut, rushed to get him away from the shards upon shards of broken glass scattered everywhere. The Peanut, as I lean down to scoop up the Count, reaches down and scoops up two fists full of glass.

She’s cut. She’s crying. She’s screaming.

I now am holding two children. Both hysterical, surrounded by what can only be the worst “clean up on aisle 3” in the history of garden centers.

Employees rush over. Brooms and napkins are busted out to sweep and mop up blood. I am apologizing profusely and trying to calm my kids and check for deep wounds.

The Peanut only has some scrapes and the Count is now enthralled with all the mess. The employees, however, are huddling to decide what exactly to do with me.

I immediately offer to pay. To help clean. To do whatever. They are obviously annoyed and I think more interested in me just getting the hell out of there than actually making me do anything. But it is decided that I shall pay for most of the broken vases, and then I can immediately return them as “broken” for store credit.

Bingo. I now have $112 in garden store credit. And you had better believe we left WITH that windmill. And no, your eyes are not deceiving you. My child is not wearing pants. But really, when does he EVER wear pants.


  1. Glad the kiddos are OK. But wow, what a day, huh? Windmills, broken vases, $112 in garden credit, AND no pants. Sounds like my last date.

  2. Oh my gosh, that sounds like an “every mother’s worst nightmare” kind of day. The credit is nice, though!

  3. Didn’t they make a movie about that? Sure sounds like a horror story. Glad everyone is ok. Garden looks lovely.

  4. Wow, that does sound pretty awful (the handfuls of glass, that is, not the kid breaking stuff by accident). What genius combined the idea of a wagonload of plants + a case full of glass?

  5. *gasp* SUCKS!

    At least everyone still has all their digits. With the way Peanut has been going lately, I was expecting at least a stitch or two!

    Thanks goodness no fingers were harmed. 🙂

  6. I’m glad the kids are okay! It was nice of the plant store people to come up with the ingenious buy them, then return them as broken plan.

    The picture of your front door is gorgeous! I especially like that beautiful windmill…

  7. Now THAT is a bad day! I can’t imagine how red your face was after the crash.

    Isn’t it great that we get their teen years to return all of that embarrassment?

  8. How do things like this happen to you? !!!

    This story has to be the most catastrophic misadventure I’ve ever read about, and yet you completely tell the tale with a wonderful little spirit. I love that about you!

  9. That’s horrible and funny all at the same time. 😉

    It’s hell being a Mom. Let us know if the place bans you. LOL

  10. Oh, my GOD! I would have died. Thank goodness the kiddos are okay. And I bet your garden’s going to be fabulous after you figure out how to spend the $112! *smirk*

  11. omigosh! It must have been awful.
    The front door looks beautiful.

  12. Kids, you gotta love them:)

  13. Reminds me of the time my husband knocked SNOW GLOBES off the shelf at the Disney Store.

    It was just like being a in a store with a toddler!

  14. heh! heh! heh! It’s so good to find out that I’m not the only one who has had to pay for something I never get to take home!!

  15. Yikes… stories like this make me secretly hope that our little guy doesn’t learn to walk…

  16. I wonder if they would have made you pay for them had you needed to run out of there to the E.R. for major wounds. I bet they would have been apologizing to YOU!
    Glad there was nothing more than a bruised ego and a very cute pantless child with a cool,new windmill.

  17. ACK!!!

  18. Oh my god, I feel for you. I can only imagine what that must be like. It’s reasons like that that I don’t want Squeaks to start walking!

  19. Total nightmare! Glad the kiddies are ok. I can’t believe they were annoyed at you – accidents happen. This is also another good example of why I don’t go out much!

  20. I’m so glad the store was good about it, even though I’m sure they were fretting. And I’m even more glad the Count and Princess are okay. Glass is so scary! Dawson broke a jelly jar that he insisted on carry around the house and threw down the steps. I was horrified. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks she’s losing her mind.

  21. OMG, my worst nightmare… and whatta way to get a store credit 😉

    Glad no one was seriously hurt, though!

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