The Queen and her Entourage-Blogher06

My MOTHER is coming to BlogHer06.

This started out as a Queen Alone Time WEEKEND and now my entire family, minus the cats, are coming to San Jose. When I travel, I travel with an entourage.

The kids are coming because the Princess is nursing. The Kaiser is coming to watch the kids. The mother is coming to watch the kids so the Kaiser can par-tay. And the flea on the mouse and the mouse on the cat and the cat on the dog and the dog…nevermind.

It’s all good, though. I not-so-secretly hope you girls hijack my Mom at some point and feed her a drink. Just one. That’s all she needs.

You see, my Mom and I are more than just Mother and Daughter. Or maybe that is exactly what we are. Mother and Daughter. Our relationship is wrapped in emotion, exhaustion, annoyance, and mothering. But while I can turn on the “friend� with my Mom and shut off the “daughter,� she rarely shuts off the “mom.� I mean, I know I never shut off the “mom� so the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Which is why she could use a drink. Or two. No, not two. Just one or she won’t be capable of watching my kids. See there, that was me not being able to shut off the “mom.�

My Mom got pregnant with me at 18. Which, I think, contributes to our closeness. She was still a babe when she had a babe. And we grew up together as friends and family.

Admittedly, as Queen of Spain, I don’t have as many girlfriends in my offline life as I do in my online life. I live far away from all the girls I grew up with. I live far away from college friends. And now I have “mom� friends. So my own mother remains my constant girlfriend. She knows BlogHer is big for me. And I know that she knows that I know she wants to witness. She’s very bad at pretending. She’s very good at mothering. She’s making double sure I get my “Queen Alone Time Weekend –with added bonus of witty, charming, handsome, successful, drunk, husband sprinkled here and there.�

Queen of Spain is a team effort. My behind the scenes crew is poised to make sure I have a good time. A good time in which I don’t worry about my kids. Wonder if they had lunch. Need a nap. A juice box. A kiss. A good time in which I also don’t feel any sort of guilt. These people love me so much they are bending over backwards to get me out and networking. Making sure my business cards are ready. Making sure I have the right shoes for the skirt. Taking off work. Getting on planes.

So, I figure I’m either extremely well loved. OR I’m so certifiable and out of my mind insane that this is the only way my husband and mother can guarantee I actually get out of my sweats, go do something I want, that is for me and no one else (read: kids) and have a good time.

I think I should throw in some Diva attitude, though. Just for good measure. I mean, if I’m going to travel to a blogging conference with this many people in my entourage, I should start demanding things.

I said put the baby’s PINK shoes on…not her red ones. And WHERE is my Lipton Green Tea?

I already tried that with the Hyatt. I still have two double beds for 5 people. Don’t they know I’m the Queen???

…Go check out the blogher site today. And please, say Hi to my mom. She’ll feel all famous.


  1. *siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

    Everybody but ME. 🙁

  2. Hi Mom!

    Can I just say I’m glad your mom is coming… and mine isn’t! Heh. I like moms, I even like my mom, but I don’t want my mom going to Blogher with me. 😉

    What I really want is to hold your wee one. Pretty please! I’m tired of teens and school age kids, I want to cuddle a little oneeeeee!

  3. Dude, I barely let my mom read my blog, and I talk to her every day, so it’s not like were not close.
    I don’t know if I could handle her being at a conference with me. Too many flashbacks of church camp I think.

  4. I could easily have my mom with me at a conference. I talk to her nearly everyday and we get along very well. But my reward is going to BlogHer with no one else. No toddler, no husband, no obligations.

    I’m excited to meet you and all of your family!

  5. Hello Queen Mum! Your daughter is amazing. We all adore her.

    Queenie, I hope you have a fantastic time in San Jose. Have a few cocktails for me!

    Kaiser, behave. Or not. =)

  6. An entourage. Wow, I can’t wait to meet the royalty. Perhaps Kaiser and I will get plowed and swap stories. Mwuhahahahahaha.

  7. Queen of Spain says:

    I want to respond to everyone, but all I can manages is…

    hot. hoooooooooooooooooot. hhhhoooootttttl. it’s soooooo freaking hot here.

  8. I’ve had drinks with your Mom before and I’m looking forward to having drinks with your Mom again.

    Now if she’ll only stop trying to steal my husband…

  9. Queen of Spain says:

    She can’t help it if Gabe lusts for her…and her coney dogs.

  10. It’s really nice of her to go with you. I hope you have a GREAT time. Take lots of pictures for those of us not there!

  11. Queen of Spain says:

    Hyatt update: They bowed to pressure and I now have adjoining rooms. Whew. Party is officially ON.

  12. Suhweeeet…..adjoining rooms. Will the be GBJ weekend?

  13. Awwww…I think that’s REALLY cool the way your whole family is teaming up to make this a great trip for you. Seriously fricken awesome 🙂

  14. Wish I could join you guys this year, but I can’t. Next year for sure!

    It’s really cool when you can have a family vacation and claim it as a business expense!


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