McEvil teams up with McEvil-er

How far in the tank do General Motor’s profits have to dip in order to market their gas guzzlers to my 3-year-old?

My adorable son came home from a “date” with his Nana last night, revved up from having seen Disney/Pixar’s Cars for the third time. In his wee little hand he was clutching the remains of his Happy Meal box. Dinner and a movie, everyone all together now “aaaaaw, a date with his Nana.”

Now maybe I’ve just lived in California too long. Maybe this ex-Detroit girl is disappointed in her hometown automakers for failing to step it up on the environmental end. Or maybe I just have PMS…but when I was presented with a mini toy-HUMMER, smelling of cheeseburger and fries, I cursed a blue streak that included “MOTHERFUCKER BIG OIL INFILTRATING MY HOUSE” and “YOU CAN’T EVEN GET YOUR KID A HAPPY MEAL ANYMORE WITHOUT THOSE DAMN BABY SEAL KILLER, ASTHMA GIVERS GETTING IN ON THE PROFITS.”

It wasn’t pretty. And I’ll admit, a little over the top. But since when am I subtle?

Stick a pirates treasure chest in there to promote Daddy’s new movie. Sure. I get that. Kid’s movie, kid’s toy. It works.

But Hummer teaming up with McDonalds makes me ill. I feel guilty enough as it is when I let my kids eat that crap every so often. But this match made in hell does not make sense. Unless it was just some corporate, behind closed doors, wink wink, nudge nudge, handshake deal that had white, fat cats laughing their asses off.

Count Waffles the Terrible will not be purchasing a Hummer anytime soon. Neither will his Prius owning parents. And for the record, my grandfather worked for Chrysler for 40 plus years. We own a Chrysler minivan. It has 8-thousand miles on it and it’s 2 years old. Suck on that Exxon. And we bought a Town and Country that was exclusively manufactured in Detroit and Windsor.

I know it’s not really fair to single out one car…but the Hummer really is a symbol of what is horrible about America. Consumerism at any cost and I shall rape the air, water, and land in the process. All so I can compensate for my small dick.

And now, like the tobacco companies before them, marketing execs over at GM think they are pulling a fast one on my kids.


I actually thought McDonalds was getting better. Promoting a healthier menu, etc. But this latest marketing scheme, in a time of high gas prices, war in oil rich lands, and a quickly eroding environment, makes this McMerger, Mc-bad PR.

No more happy meals. No GM products. And I’m spreading the word. Join me, won’t you?

…now I’m off to try and explain “carbon footprints” to my little guy.

For those interested, you can read the McDonald’s press release HERE. Feel free to let them know how you feel. I am.


  1. Dig it, mamacita. You’re all California now. We can’t even smell the Detroit on you anymore. I’ll join you, won’t I? Yes, I will. Because Hummer and McDonalds working together is serioulsy mcmerger, mc-bad for the environment, economy and development of the next gen.

  2. How about this BS… I went by the university where I received my MBA from this past weekend, and in the parking lot I saw where all of my tuition went.

    Two Hummers owned by the university radio station with their call letters splashed all over it. Hummers… why the hell does a radio station need two hummers??? Give me a friggin’ break…

  3. QoS…you’re a woman after my own heart. Shit like this always get my back up. But you’re the fricken BOMB because you actually blog about it and inform the masses whereas I just bitch to my husband and maybe write a letter to which I receive the equivalent of a form letter in response.

    Alone, they are both pretty bad but together, in a Happy Meal, is so propaganda-ish…so brainwashy…so WRONG.


  4. I find Hummers to be the most irritating things on the planet, so I am with ya on this one. I don’t know what I am going to threaten them with, though, since I never eat there – maybe I can say “I am going to stop using your restrooms on road trips!” Do you think that will hit them where it counts?

  5. Queen of Spain says:

    I politely emailed the contacts on that link. I let them know they were welcome to join the dicussion here.

    What are the odds??

    I think I may organize a “Day without Happy Meals”-much like a “Day with Immigrants” but you know, without the burgers.

  6. Hummers are ugly and their drivers are usually butt-ugly. I LOATHE McDonalds and haven’t eaten there in years. Now this match-made-in-hell. SHIT. Another reason I avoided Mickey D’s was their gender-biased toys. Now it’s Polly Pockets for the girls and Hummers for the boys. GAG me a river!

  7. Bothers me that my daughter doesn’t just call the movie “Cars,” she calls it “Disney-Pixar-Cars” like it’s all one word.

    As for the happy meal toys, my son thinks they’re “Monster Trucks.” He has one of them – he’s happy.

    BTW – what does “Crowned” mean after some of the names (Like mine)?

  8. Queen of Spain says:

    It was supposed to indicate blogs that have updated recently. But it’s just confusing everyone. So, you know…it’s gone now. You’re like the third person today to go “um…what the hell does that mean??”

    And to clarify (after a long and heated debate with the Kaiser) it should be known that I suck for taking my kids to McD in the first place. I shouldn’t have done it before. And while there are many reasons to NOT give them your money (apparently they kill baby trees and also suck environmentally) this was just the last straw for me. Not the ONLY reason I need to stop going to McDonalds.
    So, to review. Both companies, evil. Together, uberevil. Bad Mommy for giving money to either.

  9. You totally crack me up. I guess I’m just naive when it comes to my train of thought. I would never have made the connections that you did! I would have thought, “Hmmm, a Hummer. That’s pretty useless in a Happy Meal”.

    That’s why I like reading this site. You make me think about things I normally wouldn’t. Sure, sometimes I laugh and think you’ve gotten a little too much California air, but for the most part I agree with you.

    And I’m on my way over to the website now to leave my two cents.

  10. We got those blasted things this week too. My neighbor’s son righty asked why did they keep coming out with other Hummers, wasn’t one enough?

    I couldn’t agree more.


  11. OH MY GOD. As I’m reading this……my son brings me the new HUMMER toy from his happy meal I just picked up. I didn’t even bother to check this time to see if it was a boy toy or a girl toy, I figured WTF he’ll play with it either way.
    Great. Let’s ALL get a HUMMER.
    My favorite hummer vision is the one from that retarded show ENTOURAGE where they slap a bumper stick on the back of one of the guys HUMMER.
    It said “I HEART COCK”.

  12. Can’t stand the things, and I’m the target buyer. My cousin bought a few old (1995) “H1″s and fixed them up. He also lives on top of a moutain in Tennessee and ACTUALLY USES THEM OFF ROAD! Shocking.

    ‘Course, I’m also the guy who gets strange looks from the neighbors when I bring home the team’s tow vehicle: a HUGE F350 crew cab duelly. Diesel, baby. But that gets used to tow a monster trailer. Hummers, like in “Cars”, never see anything more challenging than some snow. Waste.

  13. Poor McD’s. They were trying so hard. Perhaps a hybrid next time, eh?


    Visiting from CHBM.

  14. Amen, sistah! I would boycott McD’s, but I know that Aaron would never be able to give up that greasy (non)goodness. I’m pretty addicted to their food, too, but I could easily go with better food choices.

    And this marketing campaign has me pisses as well. Aaron stopped by McD’s tonight and got Cordy a happy meal. I took the toy out and handed it to her, thinking she’d take one look at it and toss it aside.

    That damn hummer went to bed with Cordy, clutched just as tightly as her beloved Blue. I tried to go in after she was asleep to remove it from the crib and throw it away, but she’s still got that thing in a death grip. And now I will be unable to sleep all night, worried that she might somehow break a small piece of that damn toy off and choke on it. I shouldn’t have let her even look at it.

  15. I’m with you on this one. I, too, am disgusted by McDonalds (more so since I saw “Supersize Me”). Unfortunately, I work in a hospital where Micky D’s is the only option for food or beverage after 5pm (and I frequently work 30 hour shifts). I usually go there because they have unsweetened iced tea (and, o.k., occasionally for the fries – they must put an addictive chemical in those golden fried yummy instruments of coronary artery disease). Last year, they started a promotion where you can get this ridiculously HUGE drink (it’s the size of my thigh) for only 49 cents. That, to me, encapsulated all that was wrong about America. (To be fair, I’m also violently opposed to the big gulp, soft drink vessels with handles, and those giant Arizona Iced Teas). Who needs that much beverage? Thus, as I am the queen of “cutting of the nose to spite the face”, I insist on paying $1.49 for a medium tea. And while I constantly rant about it to anyone unfortunate enough to be in my vicinity after a trip to the Death Star, I’ve failed to motivate enough to write about it.

    Thanks for carrying the torch.

    p.s. Don’t even get me started on the idea of “McDonald’s” being given access to hospitals.

  16. I can’t help it. I think Hummers are so cute. hate me if you will, but I want one (not that I could ever afford the truck or the gas…) LOL

  17. This is insane? McDonald’s really teamed up with Hummers? Wonders never cease.

  18. I don’t know. Yep.. I hate hummers. I am a BIG tree hugger. But I am a true child of the 80’s. I grew up with toy guns, candy cigarettes, and jelly shoes.

    (Yes- I lump jelly shoes in with guns and cigarettes. No one looks good in them and they are DANGEROUS!)

    So- to me, gas guzzling isn’t quite as bad as firearms,tobacco, and poor quality foot wear.

  19. Will it make you feel any better to know that the majority of 2007 model GM vehicles will be E-85 compatible? Hummers are stupid and the majority of people who buy them are egotistical idiots, however, that is thier personal decision to be an idiot and they should be allowed to make such a choice. I gauran-damn-tee you that when people stop buying them, GM will stop making them (see Oldsmobile). Just saying were a capitalist society and the majority rules. At least this years Hummer (god, I love that name) is smaller. As an aside, last year I saw a Hummer commercial followed by a KFC commercial. Why is this funny? Because the KFC was advertising their Honey BBQ wings with the tag-line “Get the taste on your face.” Now that immediately following a commercial for “Hummer” is funny.

  20. duh! i was gonna chastise you for thinking mcdonald’s was ok, but you did it yourself. phew!

    just to warn you: mcdonald’s is also teamed up with the mouse. or their french fries have, at least. which practically incriminates your husband. but we won’t count that. (my husband is in The Business, too, and hey: a job is a job!)

    ps i can think of one good, new link not in your blogroll . . . (hint, hint)

  21. Queen of Spain says:

    I agree Ms. Gunky. I agree. I’ve got a major blogroll overhaul going on. Hang in there.

    And yeah…the good news is the hubby works for a small fx house that got outsourced some shots. So how far removed (ala Kevin Bacon) do you have to be to ignore the blood on our hands?

    Yeah. I know. Fast food. Baaaaaaaaaaaaad.

    And Ritch-I will never, ever think of that truck as a truck. It’s always been a BJ to be. Always. And yes, I giggle every single time.

  22. Have there been any McDonald’s commercials promoting these Hummer toys in their Happy Meals? I haven’t seen any like I did when it was Pirates of the Caribbean and Disney Pixar Cars. So maybe this is just on the McDownLow?

    Dawson loves the hamburgers. When he’s a picky boy the burger is my last resort to feed him. He likes the Hummer toy. Granted he doesn’t know what they are yet. He just thinks the toy is like his other million “Cars” toys.

    I guess we’ll have to teach him about gas-guzzlers as soon as he learns to read. Personally, I think I should start biking to work. It will save on $4 a gallon gas and I might shed some Big Mac McFat!

  23. hillgrandmom says:

    just read esbee’s blog(life in forsyth) and she had the same rant. I can see how difficult it seems to keep children away from marketing, marketing & more marketing. Anyway, pitching at kids should be banned I think.

  24. The only reason McDonalds put “healty” choices on their menu was to tidy up their image and make people feel like they aren’t “that bad”. But they are that bad. They are worse. They have their hands in so many bad things, I try to stay away from them all together. Good for you for taking a strong stance. Luckily we live in an are that doesn’t have a lot of easily accessable fast food joints, but I am sure if we did the temptation would be hard to ignore (traveling makees it quite hard too).
    And the gas is going to be gone relatively soon (30 years at the LONGEST) and too expensive even sooner. Hummers are going to be useless piles of scrap metal.
    Cheery, aren’t I 🙂

  25. I totally agree with you on this issue. RE-DICK-U-LOUS!!!!! McDonalds can bite my ass. So can Hummer.

  26. Has anyone but me seen that awful Hummer commercial where the timid mom’s kid is getting pushed in front of in line in the playground, etc, and the solution is for her to buy a Hummer?

    I mean, I’ve begun to assume that the bigger cars are men’s way of dealing with their feelings of inadequacy or something, but do women really think that driving a big car is going to make them more assertive?

    As if I didn’t hate and loathe those machines already. And I did and I do!

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