Ghetto Cold

I’m making pizza for breakfast so I can crank the stove.

My thermostat is broke and I can’t bring myself to just turn the stove on for heat. Too ghetto. So I’m making pizza.

MMMMMM pizza at 8am.

What? The furnace guys don’t get here until 9 and I’m not sitting around in the cold.

Yes, I said cold. It’s 52 degrees in my house. I know Karen will call me a pussy, but this Cali girl can’t handle it. Sure, sure…grew up in the gray tundra that is metro-Detroit…but I was never a very good cold person there either. I was the girlfriend you started the car for 45 minutes in advance, not 10. You dropped me off at the entrance and after dinner ran to get the car in the parking lot, while I waited at the bar.

So here I am, taking 5 minutes to get my pizza out of the oven, because I can’t just stand over the warm, open oven. That would be way too white trash.

So instead I’ll pretend to fix the handle. And maybe put in some cookies or something. If you hear about a dead family in LA County, carbon monoxide or something..that’s us.


  1. I’ll be watching my news feeds. You may have to shave your head to get top coverage3 though.

  2. totally love the new look.
    heard about the California cold from my brothers there. Wishing you warmer times soon.

  3. Ooh, new layout. Mine is so 2005. *sigh*

    So what sort of toppings do you put on your pizza first thing in the morning?

  4. You’re right – IT’S COLD. (But it looks like it won’t stay that way today. Thank goodness that storm is over.) I hope the furnace guys get it fixed fast.

  5. I’m sooooooo white trash. I stand over the open oven a lot. What? Don’t you look at me like that, you’re a Polish girl, too. You KNOW what I’m talkin’ about…..we do things like that. It’s cool. 😉

  6. Oh, I had to do that in college. Peppermint schnaaps helped.

  7. I am sitting here with my coat on inside my house where the heat is set at 72 degrees, so I completely understand you. I hate cold weather! I feel colder since my thyroid surgery, and they swear it isn’t related, but I have talked to others who say the same thing. Did taking out your thyroid make you colder?

    Pizza for breakfast is my favorite!

    Also…is Laci still hanging out at your hut? I haven’t been back for quite a while. Send me an email if you want me to move her!

  8. You crack me up! When we had heater issues, I bathed more than one person should be allowed to, just to keep warm. Thankfully we finally have some nice weather here, so my poor skin is catching a break!

  9. White trash mofo of a pussy. Gawd.

  10. make sure u have on clean undies.

  11. Our heater went out during the first major cold snap here this year and it took almost a week of troubleshooting, ordering, and eventually replacing it.

    One night Alexis mentioned that she had left the door of the oven. I had been cooking so I didn’t think much of it. An hour later I went downstairs and found that she had the OVEN ON and the DOOR OPEN…..gas oven!


  12. Vicente B. says:

    I have a suggestion on how to keep warm .. you do not need stove, pizza or cookies just the pepperoni 🙂

  13. I did the EXACT same thing this morning. Except with something a little more suitable for breakfast. I made muffins. ‘Cause my house is cold. I’m having troubles with my wood stove right now. It’s spewing back smoke into the house, therefore, we’re not using it and we’re freezing. One kid has a space heater in her room, so she’s fine at night, and the other one co-sleeps, so she gets warmth, but during the day, we’re wearing 2-3 layers of clothing. Wait. I have four shirts on right now… Yeah, I gotta do something about this!

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