Stepford Crazy-now with less Paxil

I’m off to the doctor today to discuss the possibility of ditching my anti-depressant. Yes, many of you just shook your heads upon reading that and went “nooooooooooo!” I don’t blame you.

I’ve been on Paxil for about 17 months. I’m still crazy, but I no longer have anxiety attacks over imagined kidnappers. Here is the other thing-I’m fat. Fat. Fat. Fat. I’ve gained about 30lbs on the drug. I’m the biggest I have ever been NOT pregnant.

I want off. And I want off now.

So I’m going to do my best to not LIE and tell the doctor I’m FANTASTIC. I’m going to tell him I’m better, I’m happier, and I no longer will stare at strangers intently at the park wondering if they are sexual predators. I have the libido of a 16 year old boy and I’m eating well and exercising. Correction-I’m not eating too much shit and every so often I go to the gym.

I’ll be honest. I’m starting to have those ideas in my head that the medicating of women of child bearing age is overrated. I know it worked for me, so I have NO SANE reason why I feel that way, other than I am sick of hearing everyone I know is on something to make them less bitchy.

So yes, I am taking a chance by thinking I can go off the Paxil. If I start having heart thumps when my husband is late coming home and am convinced he’s dead on the side of the road, I will go back on the Paxil. Or some other drug that won’t make me as fat.

Because I don’t care what you think…the fat is almost as bad as the crazy.


  1. Good luck, girl! That’s how I feel about my thyroid meds. I hate being fat. So I work out extra hard trying to compensate. It sucks.

  2. Oh for the love of god please don’t talk about 16 year old boys and our sex life at the same time. Yeeesh.

  3. I feel for ya amiga mia… a very close friend of mine was on Paxil once and is still battling the weight gain she suffered from because of it…

    I actually applaud you for wanting to get off the meds… I tend to be a “do it all the natural way” kinda hippie boho chick and believe me when I tell you I have been there with the crazy and then some… the crazy brought me anorexia, daily, crippling panic attacks and at some point, for just a few months, agoraphobia… therapy (the right kind, there is the rub), time and mucho love from the Loverboy helped with it all… though man is it a bitch and a half!

    And a book I recently read has been miraculous… anyway, if ever you need to gab and vent and brainstorm on it all, you know where to find me sweet friend! And for now, good luck with it all ’cause we are all rooting for you!

  4. Wait a second…are you telling me it isn’t normal to obsess about kidnappers lurking everywhere and you husband being dead when he doesn’t come home on time? I may need to go to the doctor!

    Good luck getting off the meds. For what it’s worth, I have seen pictures of you and you look hot, so I wouldn’t worry about the weight thing if you decide you need to go back on them. Although that is easy for me to say since I am not living in your skin.

  5. Seriously, good luck with this. I hope things go well with the adjustment.

  6. I hope everything goes smoothly. Remember, wean off slowly – cold turkey will make you seriously psycho.

    I think there are many times in our lives when medication may be needed. You’ve (hopefully) passed that time now, and are at the point where you no longer need them. In the few times I’ve been on antidepressants, I knew it was time to go off when I questioned why I was on them to begin with. (Oh how quickly we forget the darker days.)

  7. My dear friend.
    You are plenty psycho ON the Paxil.
    Please do not go off of it.
    Fat is not as bad as crazy.

    Sincerely, your fat friend.

    (don’t lie to the doctor, and listen to what they say, there may be an alternative that will work for you – doesn’t Welbutrin curb appetite?)

  8. I just got off of Lexapro after a 6 month, medium-strength dosage. I’m still dealing with the issues that prompted me to go on the drug in the first place, but I feel SO much better. I’m losing the weight that I gained, I have a TON more energy, and my sex drive is back.

    That being said, everyone reacts to SSRIs differently. Best to have a long, open, honest discussion with your doc.

  9. Good luck to you girl! I had to go off Paxil and onto Celexa because of all the weight gain, so I understand what you’re saying. And I’m with you on sick of hearing about antidepressants. I hate it when women take it because they feel blue every now and then. I’ve been on meds for about 6 years for severe depression (long before I became a mommy) and I still need them, but not because it’s “cool”. I need them in order to get out of bed and live. But I’m trying to wean off and it’s a long road. Expect some weird side effects as you go off your meds, but they slowly get better.

  10. Here would be my three cents (because I have sooooooo much to offer):

    Go ahead and talk about some options of other meds in case you wean off and find it all flooding back and realize you are doing great BECAUSE of the meds (flashback to Christine in January 2007). I’m on another med now, and am one of those people that my be on it for life. Probably won’t be you, but calling the doctor in the middle of anxiety hell to discuss what I should take NOW … not pretty. My doc deserves a gold star.

    Look into cognitive behavior therapy. Seriously. There are tons of people that receive lifelong help with that, just after a few months of sessions. It’s not a hooky-kooky thing. In fact, most psychiatrists are training themselves in CBT. I would be in that sort of therapy already, if I didn’t live in the large metropolis (ha) of northern Oklahoma. Can’t find a CB therapist anywhere in my hemisphere.

    And finally, (thank you all for listening, I’ll be at the back of the room to sign your books when I’m done), wean slooooowwwwwwwllllly. If you start to have withdrawal symptoms, just slow it down. Some people suffer very little getting off. I had brain shocks and other weird stuff. I bought some meclizine at the pharmacy and started taking that everyday – it helped.

    Then again, you’ll probably be on here in a month, talking about how you weaned off in a week without a hitch, and you are feeling the best in your life … and I will hate you! (bee-otch)

  11. I have been a lurker for awhile and now feel compelled to give my support and encouragement. I have been taking SeraFem (a form of Prozac)for about two years now and have my crazies in control. I haven’t had any problems with weight gain but you can sure tell when I am off of it. The other thing that I have used in the past is St. Johns Wort. Awesome stuff. There are also valerium, Sam-e, among others.

    Anywho, Good luck, Queen!

  12. I lurk often. Comment far less. Even less since for some reason your latest post are not showing up in my Google Read – I knew you had more to say then just that Tit Brigade thing…)

    Anyway… I’m medicated too. Effexor… It’s great, no weight side effects and I’m so much happier.. not to mention the fact that you can still take it when you’re preggers.. if you’re ever thinking of going there again.
    The only thing.. I’m in Canada… if you don’t have it there, maybe we can use Karen as a Mule and get the shit to you? LOL

  13. 30 lbs?????? FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! They just prescribed this to me yesterday for the whole panic attack thing.

    Great, I think I’ll go eat a cupcake and cry now.

    Good luck and I hope the weaning off isn’t too horrid. 🙁

  14. Effexor XR 😀 LOL. Lots better than Paxil and helps LOOSE weight instead of gain!

    I couldn’t drive over bridges without imagining how I was going to save everyone when we plunged into the water. And I would almost pass out if I had to actually meet someone new. Anxiety at it’s best.

    I’m much more normal now. Well, As normal as I can be for being me 😀

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