She doesn’t want to talk about “Mom being in the hospital.”

It never happened.

And if her brother starts to ask questions about my tests and appointments, she shushes him.

I’ve tried talking with her about how I will be fine, how I am sick and the doctors are fixing me…but she wants absolutely nothing to do with it. Nothing.

Which is fine, because I don’t either. It’s all gotten to be too much and Mom being sick has gotten out of hand.

I’ll just take her soft kisses on my belly as her own recognition that something isn’t right…and leave it at that.


  1. That makes my eyes want to leak. Have been thinking of you E, and sending lots of healing mojo your way. -Christine

  2. Awe … it’s hard for little people.

    I was diagnosed with a serious illness last year and have been in and out of hospital ever since. One day my three year old asked me if I were born sick.

    Thinking of you.

  3. At least she is still processing. She just doesn’t want to talk about it but does accept so she kisses it to make it better. Thinking of you. Prayers with you.

  4. Poor thing. She will deal with things at her own pace.

    I hope that all of the new tests at UCLA get everything figured out and fixed soon.

  5. Sweet girl. They are resilient but that doesn’t make it any easier for you or less crappy and scary for her. Sending you and your family lots and lots of good, healthy, healing thoughts and wishes.

  6. Even as an adult I don’t like it when my parents are sick. I almost didn’t visit my mom in the hospital when she had a blood clot in her leg. I can’t stand seeing these strong people not be strong. She’s going to be okay.

  7. I think that respecting where she is at and not pushing her is the best decision. I hope this whole thing is over soon, and you’re all feeling much better.

  8. Poor little thing. It must have been very scary to her. I think many little kids associate hospital with death, and maybe she was afraid you weren’t coming home. And it’s very hard to see a parent sick, but for a little one? It’s extremely hard and very frightening.

  9. With my recent melanoma thing, I’ve been trying to avoid telling my boys too much about it. I told them about the wound from mole removal, but all they know about my next surgery is that the doctors want to take a little more out around it. I figure I’m going to have to tell them about the 2 incisions when they take lymph node out, but I am still avoiding the word and concept of cancer. I think they’re just too little to understand or even need to.

    Anyway, I’m sure your daughter is scared, but it seems to me she’s handling it ok. It’s her way and she’ll be fine. 🙂

  10. My heart breaks for her. Poor little one. Poor momma, too.

  11. You said a couple blogs ago: “They shoved a hose with a camera through that block and I gagged. I gagged like crazy. They pulled that hose out and shoved another up my ass.”

    Just think of the bright side…they could have done it the other way around… they could have shoved the hose up your A$$ and then pulled it out and shoved it through the block in your mouth…. That would NOT have tasted very good… but you are a puker….

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