…Like I Need a Hole in the Head

I keep telling her it will hurt.

I keep telling her there are needles involved.

I keep telling her she will cry.

I said...Happy Tuesday

But much like her mother, my daughter has decided on what she wants and is, in fact, getting it for her 5th birthday.

Holes in her ears in the name of beauty.

Mind you I’m not thrilled about all of this, but I’ve said since the day she was born I would pierce her ears if and when she asked me. Words that have now bitten my ass.

In my family- call it regional, culture, whatever- I was the odd one who didn’t pierce her baby daughter’s ears. And yes, I did get grief over it. Yes, in my family, a lot of the little girls’ ears were pierce when they were too tiny to pull them or tug or even know what was going on.

Being me…I had to buck tradition and declare that my daughter wouldn’t have it done against her will. And made the announcement that when she asked for it herself, she could have them pierced.

Was I expecting her to as at 4-years old? Uh…no.

However, true to my word, I’m booking an appointment with our pediatrician to have the deed done and my little one couldn’t be more thrilled. Mom? Well…she’s hanging in there.

I don’t think it’s about my daughter wanting to do something that makes her feel pretty. I don’t think it’s about her going through pain to have it done (although these are issues that should be discussed…pain for beauty…ugh) … but I really think my emotions over this resided firmly in the fact that I’m 100% against her growing up.

A rite of passage like earrings seems too soon for such a tiny girl. Too soon for my youngest. Too soon for this Mom who isn’t ready to move from pre-school to the kindergarten class lurking around the corner.

But I also want to celebrate her changes. The way she now takes pride in her “grown up” ways. This results in me mourning in private the loss of my baby girl. I have all the usual feelings… wanting to stop time, wanting to prolong the inevitable. Wanting another baby so very badly.

Instead…we’ll celebrate a 5th birthday next month with what her mother has done, her grandmother, her family’s females…and I’ll try not to cry more than she does when they make the tiny holes in her perfect ears.


  1. Awww she is so beautiful! my toddler, almost three, tries to pull off my earrings or when she finds a pair of mine she tries to put them on. Maybe I should wait until she is older like your daughter
    .-= pamela´s last blog ..And The (Gold) Medal Goes To… =-.

  2. My girlfriend was telling me her now 7-year olds are a nightmare. The losing of the earrings. The constant changing. The care.

    Can’t wait.

    Kill me

  3. She is so sweet. Good luck. Props to you for waiting until she asked for it. I think I was seven and I drove my mom nuts about getting it done!
    .-= Tina´s last blog ..testing my sidebar… =-.

  4. Good for you for keeping your promise. Shame on time for moving so fast.
    .-= amanda´s last blog ..Catching Sand =-.

  5. My dad still asks me if I want my ears pierced, and on more than one occasion, I’ve received pierced earrings as a gift. People are aghast and say, “you don’t have your ears pierced?!”. Sometimes I think they are throw off by the freckle on my earlobe.

  6. Our kids are almost the exact same age. My daughter turns 5 on St. Patrick’s Day and my son will be 7 3 weeks after that. She asked to get her ears pierced in the fall. She wimped out once and then her dad took her to the mall and she was super brave. She hopped up in the chair at Claire’s, squeezed the stuffed animal and didn’t shed a single tear. She is thrilled with her earrings and we haven’t had a problem. The timing worked out that 6 weeks was up right at Christmas time so she got a few pairs for presents and was able to change them on the holiday. My mom found earrings with screw backs that also have a soft rubbery thing over the back so the post doesn’t stab you in the neck while you sleep. Good luck to Hala!

  7. We’re going through the same thing with our 5.5 year old Zella. She asked when she was about Hala’s age but when I explained the procedure to her, she said she’d wait until she was about 6. Sure enough, she’s determined now to get her ears pierced. We found a piercing salon that will do her ears with a needle so that we don’t have to use the gun but it’s 2 hours away so we have to figure out when we can schedule in a trip out of town for ear piercing. If you haven’t considered it, look into having her ears pierced with a hollow needle instead of a gun – the guns are notoriously bad news as far as sanitation, training and trauma to the ear lobe. My Z also cut bangs recently – she said of the experience, “I just really wanted to know what it felt like to make that kind of decision myself.” They grow up fast.

  8. Our rule for our daughters ear-piercings was that they had to be old enough to take care of them. That turned out to be 1st grade four our older daughter and a bit sooner for our younger daughter. Except that “a bit soon” translated as “too soon”, resulting in my wife doing most of the maintenance rather than my daughter. Best laid plans and all….

    I don’t think I’ve ever heard of having the piercings done at the pediatrician, but I can see how that could be a good idea.
    .-= Ren´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday Diptych #8: Bold =-.

  9. Is that the heating pad on the couch behind her?

  10. O got my daughters done as a baby. She never noticed them until she got older. Now she’s 6 and lives to go to Claires to pick out cutesy earring. Your little one will love it. She’s super cute!
    .-= Keyona´s last blog ..Have You Seen A Happier Kid? =-.

  11. I have made the same promise to my daughter. She will be six in June.

    I’m sure it will happen one day, but I’ve thus far been able to stave her off with descriptions of what they do and how it feels. I also tell her I wish I hadn’t gotten mine pierced (I was 4), but I think that’s made the smallest impression of all. Sigh.
    .-= Alicia´s last blog ..For Whom I Create Happiness (and a Give!Away! Update) =-.

  12. our little girl got her ears pierced about six months ago, she is four. now she is lobbying to have purple hair!
    .-= nathan eckenrode´s last blog ..continuation =-.

  13. I think it’s great that you let her choose when to get them herself. That’s what I’m doing with my daughter too…although I kind of hope she’ll wait until she’s 10 or so (wishful thinking?). She’ll do great. So will you.
    .-= Marilyn @ A Lot of Loves´s last blog ..Dancing: Wordless Wednesday =-.

  14. Of course she would want it done at 4. Have you met her parents?

    Next year she will want a Disney Princess tattoo.
    .-= Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah´s last blog ..Cool Kids =-.

  15. i got mine done when i was 6. two weeks after my birthday to be exact. when i had my daughter, i told her the earliest she could have her’s done was at 6. true to my word, two weeks after her birthday, we got her ears pierced. she was prepared for the pain. there were a few tears. but i was the one who got woozie. you may want to ask for a lolly too.
    .-= zeghsy´s last blog ..a letter to my bad day =-.

  16. Hmmm. My girls are 8, almost 6 and 2. None of them have their ears pierced. Something about me not wanting to make a decision that should be theirs and theirs alone (to permenantly alter their bodies). They have started to talk about it. It may happen soon, but it will be their decision and their responsibility.
    That said, those little earrings are sure cute and I can imagine how much fun they’ll have choosing their dressup jewelry.
    .-= Shawna´s last blog ..love-hate-love relationship =-.

  17. you need 2 nurses, one on each side, shooting her little ears at the same time, otherwise they will get one done and then have to pull her out from under the couch to do the other one.

    i had the same rule, as soon as my big girl was old enough to ask for it she could get it done next birthday. she got it done for her 6th birthday but now her little sister wants it done – she will be 5 next birthday. how many mornings until i wake up and i have a 13 year old who hates me?

  18. To each her own, I say.
    I had mine done the first time at 11, my second piercings at 13. I will admit to wanting to witch-slap the girl at Clair’s that re-pierced my second holes after they grew back together. She went agonizingly slow.
    My girls are 10 and 12, neither want theirs pierced, not sure if they ever will. My 10 year old loves the magnetic earrings, but 12 year old shuns jewelery in general.

  19. My mother made me wait until I was a teenager (16? 18? I can’t remember anymore, but it was *such* a big deal at the time). Then she turned right around and let my younger sister get hers pierced, which infuriated me further.
    .-= Average Jane´s last blog ..Average Jane Goes to a Show =-.

  20. I got mine done for the first time at age ten, let them close after a bit, and re-did them at 13. That time stuck. I got a second set added at 14, but those’ve mostly closed.

    Good luck!!!
    .-= Al_Pal´s last blog ..Sensitivity: I have it. =-.

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