If there are any Mom cliche’s left that I haven’t used, feel free to send them my way…because tonight I was scraping the bottom of the barrel and came up with:
“I MADE YOU! I MADE YOU IN MY BODY AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TREAT ME THIS WAY. NINE MONTHS YOU WERE INSIDE ME KICKING AND NEARLY KILLING ME AND I DID THAT FOR YOU and you WILL be NICE to me!”
Or something like that. I’m not sure, I couldn’t hear much with the smoke shooting out of my ears and fire spewing from my mouth.
Almost 4-year olds can suck it.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
MammaLoves 03.01.07 at 10:42 pm
How’d that work for ya? I’m just wondering, because over here…UGH!! When did these kids decide they were ruling the world?
Kemp 03.01.07 at 11:07 pm
I’ve always been partial to the Bill Cosby classic; I brought you into this world, I can take you out…
It shoould work for moms…
des 03.02.07 at 5:38 am
ha ha ha!
Did that work on the boy? It never worked on me when my mom said it.
Christina 03.02.07 at 5:58 am
If you resorted to that, then I’m sure you’ve used the “Because I’m your mom, and you have to do what I say. It’s the law.” That one worked for my mom for a few years before I caught on.
Dee Dee 03.02.07 at 6:10 am
I have an almost 4 year old and they do suck. Refusing timeouts, hitting, etc. If it’s bound to piss me off, he’s doing it. Let me know if you come up with a magical solution.
tori 03.02.07 at 7:28 am
I feel for you! I have a three year old that tests my limits of patience on a daily basis.
Dana 03.02.07 at 7:50 am
My mother would say things like, “Because I’m your mother and what I say goes. God is watching you….just remember — your children are gonna treat you the SAME way you treat me.”
Talk about Mom Guilt Trips, Catholic Guilt and threats to make a kid feel awful!
Dana 03.02.07 at 7:51 am
I forgot to tell you, my mother found your blog but not mine. I wrote all about it.
Kelly 03.02.07 at 8:04 am
LOL! 4-year-olds do suck. Good thing they turn 5!
the Narcissist 03.02.07 at 11:37 am
total 4 years olds don’t suck as bad and five is even better. I’ll have to keep you posted on six.
Tracy 03.02.07 at 1:39 pm
I had C-sections so along with all that you said, I usually add the ol’ and ” I let them cut my stomach wide open to get you out!”
Of course, #1 this is kind of harsh for a 4 year old… (it works well with 8 and 9 though…lol) and #2 it invites all sorts of questions about how babies come out and that leads to other questions about how does the baby get in there in the first place… lol.
Jay 03.02.07 at 6:49 pm
I wish so much that I lived even just a smidge closer - heck, I’d settle for the same country, because then I’d bake you something special and come over with a little something to throw in the coffee and give you all the hugs you deserve.
I mean, if I make someone a grilled cheese sandwich I feel entitled to their kindness, so yeah, I can’t really even imagine…
Jodie 03.02.07 at 11:31 pm
Firstly to the Narcissist I just wanna say 6 is even worse than 5 or 4 cos by this age they actually know stuff and are able to argue back better.
To The Queen I say to my son “I am God and I have spoken That is ALL” this usually elicits apologies and few questions about what makes me god to which I respond “Mother is the word for God on the lips and hearts of all children and seeing as I am your mother I am by default God” Now I realise that I have just made quite a few people mad at me for this but I do not apologise because each of us are entitled to our opwn beliefs and opinions and this tack works for me when at the point of absolute frustration.
Gidge 03.03.07 at 8:56 am
It’s probably wrong to scream “I MADE YOU AND IF YOU GIVE ME ANY MORE LIP I’LL REPLACE YOU WITH ANOTHER WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU” isn’t it?
Not that I do that.
Ever.
crunchy carpets 03.05.07 at 7:36 pm
Four is freaking evil.
Far worse than the namby pamby two’s.
I mean come on.. I would take a tantrum anytime over smart talk and lies.