In 2003, as my son was born, the US went to war in Iraq.

I can remember laying in my hospital bed nursing my tiny boy as the pundits and politicians lined up behind then President Bush and nodded their heads.

If he says we need to go, we need to go

We have to keep our country safe

In the wake of 9-11 not many questioned the war in Iraq and the country rallied behind the cause.

Well, most of the country. I was one of those few skeptics that hadn’t heard a compelling reason to start bombing. My husband, on the other hand, thought we should trust our President. But in all those speeches and in all that rhetoric, something was missing for me.

Trust.

I took it as a given that we were being lied to. I took it as a given that we didn’t have all the information. I took it as a given that we were going to war for reasons other than terrorists.

As it turns out, I was right. I don’t say that to rub it in faces or stick my tongue out…but to remind myself that not everything is always as it seems.

Last night I dutifully watched President Obama lay out his reasons for sending more troops to Afghanistan. I wanted to hear compelling reasons to put Americans in harms way. I wanted to hear something HUGE to make me nod my head and say …yes, yes Mr. President, this is what you have to do.

I’m not sure I did.

I heard about the Generals on the ground needing more troops. Yes…that makes sense. I heard about the ongoing terror threat to our nation, although with zero details other than ‘we’ve recently stopped a few bad guys’ I had a hard time swallowing that one. I heard about getting Afghanistan on it’s feet so it could support itself. What I didn’t hear was something that made me say ‘My God, we MUST do this.’

But this time around, I have something I didn’t have before.

Trust.

Call me naive but just like last time, with another President, I think there are many things we don’t know. And our leaders are making decisions with information we’ll never see, and for reasons we’ll never know.

It boils down to my trust of President Obama to not be after oil. It boils down to my trust of President Obama to not be putting our soldiers in harm’s way for profit, posture, or politics.

I did not have this trust in President Bush and I did not believe his motives were sincere.

But trust..isn’t enough. I can’t just go on faith. I never have, I never will. Faith..to me, is for the weak. Harsh, I know…but I can’t change who I am. So I was somewhat encouraged to hear, what I thought, was a more detailed plan and strategy for this ‘surge.’

There is a plan to get in and a plan to get out. For skeptics like me, who aren’t even sure we should be there, this is important. Just like the President is refusing to ‘write a blank check’ for war, I’m refusing to write a blank check to him. He knows this. He gave me a map to make that fear go away. Mostly. Because most of know these maps and goals are not hard and fast or set in stone, and most of us know this is all a round about way to get Pakistan in line.

But my President knows I’m that smart. So he gave me the tools I needed to be comfortable with this surge. Not entirely behind it, mind you…but comfortable with it.

Last time around it was blind trust. You weren’t given anything but ‘we know what we’re doing, either get in line behind everyone else or side with them.’ If you questioned you were called unpatriotic and if you dared speak out the chorus to silence you was swift and severe.

Not so this time. There is healthy debate over the matter. Allies are breaking ranks to say you know what, Mr. President…we think you’re wrong and should do it this way instead. The usual anti-war protest groups are rallying and the Right is…well, the Right is seemingly opposing it simply because it’s President Obama.

However the discussion is there, it’s on the forefront, and it’s not being pushed behind the curtain.

So while many of us may be unsure about this surge, we can already see the progress in the country’s attitude, and atmosphere. We can already hear the difference in a leader that talks of mutual respect, not ‘you’re either with us, or against us.’ We can even permit ourselves to have the slightest amount of trust, despite nearly a decade of lies and broken promises.

No, I’m not happy about this surge…but I don’t think my President is either. He doesn’t seem to want to do it just as much as I don’t want to let him…and for that…I am grateful.