Parent’s night? For me? Wait…oh, that’s right…I have kids

I’m officially one of the club. I attended my very first “back to school night” for parents. Don’t ask me what they said, other than the Count will learn to share, because I sat there the ENTIRE TIME thinking “I’m the MOM and my kid goes to SCHOOL.” I was addressed as “Mrs. Vest”—which, 5 years and 2 kids after my wedding still freaks me out. Yes, I realize I’m 30-years old. Yes, I realize I’m no spring chicken anymore…but what the hell?? I sat in that classroom the ENTIRE time listening to Miss Debbie discuss paint smocks thinking to myself how did I get here???

Here is a great place. Here makes my heart want to jump out of my chest daily. But since when am I the parent in the classroom????

Somewhere in the middle of “we will teach them colors through puzzles and games” and “they are not allowed to throw sand or run on the sidewalk”–I snapped out of it. My hand shot up.

“Umm…yes, can you tell me how the school and this classroom are prepared for an earthquake?”

I was back.

“And is everyone here trained in first aid and CPR?”

“What about background checks, can I see those on everyone who has contact with the kids?”

Poor, poor Miss Debbie. Now I’m in ex-news reporter Mom mode.

Gotta hand it to the lady, though. A little taken off guard but had all the answers I wanted.

There is a Mom next to me…her husband came…the only husband there…and she’s acting all “la-dee-da, my husband is here and yours isn’t” and asking really dumb questions like “and if you warn them four times about throwing sand, then what happens….what about five times” anyway she starts eyeing me. Sand obsessed Mom comes up to me after the meet the teacher nonsense and says “You must be Jackson’s mom…he was new today…Debbie said they weren’t putting pictures of our kids on the door because they didn’t have a picture of the new kid yet and didn’t want to leave anyone out.”

“How nice. Totally not necessary, but nice.”

“I heard James took a great picture. You know, he has an audition Thursday and I can’t decide if I should pull him out early from class or just be late.”

Oh fuck you lady…That figures

“Uh…umm…yeah, well nice to meet you…see you Thursday.”

Should be an interesting year.


  1. Saying “Hi” on every blog I hit through blog explosion today. So Hi!

  2. hi right back at ya

  3. i am 31 years old. i have two children. one is 13, one is 5 months. when my older son started grade school the principal of his grade school had been the disciplinary principal at my high school. he knew me. he called me by my first name. he smiled and asked me if i “still owed him some time”. i was too freaked out to go back for a long time after that. just “get on the bus, Duck, dont miss the bus, mommie is NOT driving you to school, and you KNOW how bad a driver your grandmother is!” i ask myself: when did i become the mom? what happend to us? when did we get old” truth is, if you think about it… being old is fun. freaking out teacher debbie rocks. looking at other moms and knowing that they are weirder than us, its a beautiful thing. keep it up!!

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