Why am I always the CRAZY one?

The Kaiser’s family and I have a good relationship, but its a weird one. Some days it feels like we’re making progress on being closer. Other days I feel like they are from another planet. The Kaiser normally just reminds me they (and this is important) are simply NOT LIKE MY FAMILY.

Admittedly, my family is a little weird too. Aren’t they all though? My Mom and I talk every single day, sometimes several times a day. I can tell you exactly what my Aunt had for dinner yesterday because my mother talks to her every single day. My family knows everything. About everyone. And we all talk about it. All the time.

So imagine my shock and surprise when I got an email from my sister-in-law telling me she had just returned home. From the HOSPITAL. With my ONE YEAR OLD NEPHEW. After NEARLY A WEEK OF BEING THERE.

To quote John Stewart, “WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?????????”

The Kaiser’s brother and his family live in Germany. So I expect news to be slow here and there. I don’t expect to know about every little sneeze. But when one of the kids, or ANYONE for that matter, ends up in a hospital…call me crazy but I expect someone to tell us.

So after a day of talking with my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law and getting up to date (pneumonia…he’s better, etc.) and making it clear to everyone we’d really appreciate a phone call next time, I had a talk with the Kaiser about what went on.

Somehow I ended up being the crazy one.

It wasn’t that big of a deal. And I got those looks from my husband that I always get when I’m all manic about something…you know, the ones where they look at you like you have six heads and there is fire shooting out of your mouth. He seemed to think if anyone was DYING they’d be more than fast to let us know. But since it wasn’t a DEATH situation, I needed to chill out.

Granted, I was mad as hell yesterday. Mainly because this isn’t the first time we’ve been left out of the loop for what I consider to be “call all immediate family” issues. So I was very animated about the whole thing. BUT COME ON. My mother-in-law basically said the same thing as the Kaiser, “it didn’t seem like it was too bad.” No. No. A one-year-old in a hospital for six days is a FUCKING party people. They just admit them for the sniffles.

Why was it ME who was getting the head shake and eye roll from my husband? At the end of the day I was the crazy, nosy, oversensitive bitch, who apparently got all riled up over nothing. And someone would have told us eventually, you know, if anyone DIED. Nevermind we look like assholes for not calling to check on him, or send a card or anything.

Can’t wait for the holidays and my the families coming together. My mother will be asking my mother-in-law all sorts of questions about stupid things, like what they ate for dinner…and then I won’t be alone when the heads start to shake and the eyes start to roll.


  1. I don’t blame ya.. but it’s hard for a family that isn’t as close as yours to understand.

    I’ll be glad when the holidays are o-v-e-r, myself!

  2. Why you want to be closer to the crazy family I’ll never know. There’s a reason I moved to the other side of the country. By the way, I think your 4th head is the prettiest.

  3. Earlier this month, my mother-in-law was in the Emergency Room on a Friday. I saw her and talked to her for an hour on Saturday morning, and she didn’t say a word. Last year at Easter I learned that my husband’s aunt (his mom’s sister) had almost died three years ago from some rare stomach ailment, and nobody had EVER told us.

    Yesterday for lunch, my mom had a hamburger and my aunt, uncle and grandparents all had chili.

    I know EXACTLY how you feel, but after 10 years of marriage, I don’t let it drive me crazy anymore. I just roll my eyes, and – of course – vent to my mom about it.

  4. Alison, you have no idea how much better you just made me feel.

    My dear Kaiser, I think my 4th head is the prettiest too. And WTF is that profile photo???

    Laurie-I’m starting to agree.

  5. AHH! I hate that! My hubby’s family is the same way. About a year ago we called his grandma (who only lived an hour away) to ask her about something and she answers, chats for a few minutes and then casually mentions that she’s not feeling that great and is going to get off the phone because she was recovering from a mastectomy!!! We didn’t even have a clue that she had breast cancer!! AND we’d just seen her like the month before!!! I was appalled!! I know when my mother showered, what she’s thinking about eating later tonight, when she has gas… you get the idea. I just DON’T get that family. Josh thinks it’s a little odd but is certainly not taken aback but the whole thing!! So frustrating!!!

  6. I went through the same thing in my marriage. It resembled the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding… need I say more?

    Send the card now and include a note apologizing for not sending one earlier. Reference that you just found out and tell them that you’re thinking about them, it hurts nothing and you still get to take the high road.

    It’s not you, it’s just different. And if you qualify as a crazy bitch, well, that just gives hope to the rest of us!

  7. Please tell me that isn’t a picture of the Kaiser’s family– eeeew!

  8. I agree with your husband. His family sounds like mine. If someone is sick, dying, or deceased, we find out after the fact for one simple reason: we cannot change the outcome by worrying about it. If you learned immediately that your nephew was sick and going to the hospital, what would you do? Would you drop everything and fly to Germany to be at his bedside? They don’t think anything less of you because you didn’t call or send a card, because they know you didn’t know anything about it. They weren’t expecting anything from you. They were worrying about their child. There’s no point in spreading the worry around, as it serves no purpose.

    They look at family relationships differently than you do. That’s not to say that one is better or worse than the other. Just different. Just accept it, and don’t assume that they’re looking at you through your perception of how the situation should be handled.

  9. No Emily…that’s just my husband’s sense of humor. He finds all kinds of fun pictures to make it his profile because he does not have a blog. Did I mention he’s a dork?

  10. My ex inlaws and fam was like this— yes my ex! LOLOL… my new ones are FABULOUS. I would be mad too!? Whatevs’ kick back one or two and it will all be a blurr anyway..lolol..

  11. One day, I got a call from my mother. My father had checked himself into the hospital, without telling my mother (his wife), had quintuple bypass surgery, and they told me about a day or so later.

    That’s crazy!

  12. R2K’s—you win. Thats insane.

  13. Crazy families are the best!

  14. Glad to hear that the baby is better. At least that is good news, even if it was slow. 🙂

  15. You guys make me feel like the luckiest daughter-in-law of them all. I love my in-laws. I’ve already e-mailed them twice today and it’s not even 9:00am yet.

  16. I totally get that. Freaks.

  17. do i feel your pain or WHAT??
    mixing with other families is difficult. for thanksgiving evening, we went to my in-laws. we were admitted into a dark room where they were all watching a movie. no one took their eyes of the screen as they gave us a halfhearted wave. no one took our coats. no one offered us a seat. after a few minutes of awkward standing, we sat on the floor.
    after our alotted hour was up, we got up and said goodbye, and no one took they eyes off the screen as they gave us another half hearted wave. HELLO! they hadn’t seen their son in a few months, you’d think that a normal family would manage to PAUSE the moview for a few minutes and be civil. The saddest part is, they weren’t TRYING to be rude. To quote them, “Thats just the way WE are”.

  18. Dh’s family is the same. He got a call once that said, “Get here now, Grandma’s cancer came out of remission and she’s only got a few days left.” They’d known for months she was dying, and had even talked to dh during that time, but didn’t bother to tell him his Grandma was dying. He left right away and missed her, he was in time for the funeral, though.

    They’re the same ones that think *I’M* weird. Ooookay.

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