Tip-toeing. Again.

I never know where.
I never know when.
Mommy, are you ok?
I never know how bad it will be.
Mommy, why are your eyes closed?
I never know how long it will last.
Mommy, why are you sick?

I’ve suffered from migraines with aura since puberty. They always start the same.
I can’t see.
Not really a good thing when you have two children.
But then comes the really fun part…after I am unable to see (go rub a few streaks of vaseline in your eyes) I lose my ability to talk. And walk. And find light switches on walls. And find the bathroom I’ve been using for years.
Its debilitating.
I got one yesterday. And after it was all said and done, medication was working, and I could breathe again…I cried.
Its like waiting for that other shoe to drop. I’m convinced next time I’ll be driving a car when it comes. And both kids will be strapped in back and I won’t know how to get home. I won’t be able to see to drive. I won’t be able to explain to the cop what is wrong. I’ll be in jail throwing up and the kids will be wards of the state. Or worse, I’ll get into a horrible wreck. California has cliffs, you know.
Ok, maybe that’s a little much. But you know what I mean.
Yesterday I cried because my brother was home. And I was so thankful he was around. What would I have done if he didn’t live here? I would have tried to call my husband…but not remember his number or be able to speak. A nearby friend? I know she wasn’t home last night.
I live in constant fear of getting another migraine.
So I will tip-toe through today, humbled again by my curse.
I will probably tip-toe for weeks. And weeks. And maybe months, before it happens again.
…maybe not.


  1. Queen, I am so sorry. Is there a treatment–homeopathic or medical? Hugs to you. It sounds very scary.

  2. I can relate.

    I have had migraines since a kid. The worse episode was in the 8th grade. I was in bed for 2 weeks straight in excruciating pain, barely able to walk, throwing up.

    Now, when they come they normally knock me out within 10 minutes. When my son was a baby I felt it lingering behind my right eye, that is where it lurks, and called my husband right away. By the time he arrived home, I was on the floor, my daughter playing and my newborn lying on the floor next to me. I couldn’t hold him even. He was colicky but thankfully, right then, he was quiet and happy. I lucked out.

    I normally get them due to either exhaustion or hunger or a combo of both (add stress to the mix and my head will explode!). My husband, an acupuncturist and doctor of oriental medicine, gave me a homeopathic medicine and it is the ONLY thing that has EVER helped me.

    If you are open to such things, I would suggest a consultation with a homeopath! They need to ask you very, very specific questions to pinpoint the remedy that is fit for you. Once you find it.. *sigh of relief*… or so I hope!

    I feel for you sista!

  3. I them them too, just like how you described. I did get one one time while driving on the freeway with my son in the car. Your instinct to protect your kids is not something to underestimate. You will get them home, you will do it because your their mom and that’s bigger than any migrane.
    It’s scary and to this day I have no idea HOW I made it home but I did. You will too if if ever comes to that.

  4. Migranes suck. Mine have rarely been asn severe as yours. But, my friend, Andria is right–that mother instinct will take over WHEN IT NEEDS TO (i.e. keep your kids safe, get you home, let you take care of yourself).

  5. Oh. I’m so sorry. I suffer from them but I NEVER loose speech. THAT IS MY WORST fear of it all.. well that and not being able to move. Ugg. I loose my vision and the pain … oh God the pain… and I too had my son when he was toddling find me yacking and watched me collapse from one. Yikes. Luckily, hubby–then fiance– was coming over and he raced him to the bathroom to find me. I’m so sorry. Wish I lived on the west coast to help wiht the littles today and make the Queenie some tea.

    I found imitrex a crock. I actually just use IBprofin and then before prego also excedrin migraine…cant spell these sorry

    Ps I got my shirt. I love it. I’m wearing it now with a hot pink bra udner it. Hubby loves it and wants to order the pink thong to match it. LOL… I will wear take a photo (not with the pink bra LOL) and post it… you rock. I love this shirt. It’s so freakin comfy! I shall brag on my blog.

    Cheers and hugs…

  6. Marijuana has been proven effective against migraine. Since you’re a Californian, you can get a doctor’s note for it. You already have effective medication, but cannabis starts working a lot faster if you smoke or vaporize it. And driving under the influence of weed appears to be reasonably safe. I use it several times a day for my attention deficit disorder.

  7. Brian, if you can help me not pass it through breastmilk I’m ALL OVER IT.

  8. Aww, friend… I’ve never experienced a migraine, so I can’t say that I know how it feels. I do know that it’s horrible, we get ER patients all the time with migraines.

    Have you seen any specialists about it? I think Miz B’s suggestion of a homeopath is the best.

    Smoking some reefer couldn’t hurt, either 😉

  9. My mom gets WICKED migraines, and as she gets older, more things trigger them.

    I’m dreading the day when I start to really get them, too. As it stands now, mine are mild enough to be handled by Excedrin Migraine.

    But, I’ve seen her totally incapacitated w/ the hot/cold treatments, etc…and I’m SO sorry that you’re going through it, too!

  10. See…now why did you have to go tell me they can get worse as you get older. Here I had hope. I also had hope they would go away with each pregnancy. I got one at 16 weeks with EACH kid. Dammit. Grummble Grummmble.

  11. I completely understand. I have gotten them since I was 15. I’m fortunate, however, that they are relatively rare. I discovered holistic health care about 8 years ago..I’ve only had a couple since and they lasted about 5 minutes thanks to natural medicine.

  12. I, too, get migraines. They started on the day I graduated from MSU (nice, huh?) They usually conincide w/ my period (am I allowed to say that here?). But stress also triggers them (Hmmm…I have a 2 year old, a 5 year old and I teach biology to 145 high school freshman. No, I don’t have any stress)

    I currently take Maxalt as needed, but no more than 2 pills, no less than 2 hours apart. It wasn’t until the last 6 months or so that I ever took the second pill. Before, I’d never needed it, it went away about 45 minutes after the first pill.

    My mom got the kind of migraines w/ the vomiting. I’ve never vomited, but I have the right-eye, aura, lack of speech thing.

    My mom also takes a preventative now and hasn’t had one in years (don’t know the name nor whether it’s safe while nursing, Queen). I’m very tempted to vie for a preventative at my next neuro appt.

    I hope you don’t get another one for a long, long time. I’m not too keen on homeopathic stuff (it must be the biology teacher in me), but do whatever works. Talk to other people, other doctors, the homeopath someone mentioned…

    Good luck,

  13. Ick! I get cluster headaches usually when stressed but they don’t come close to what you describe. Have you tried acupuncture? I had a friend who got awful migranes and swore that acupuncture helped keep them away…

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