Chuck E. Fiasco, West Coast Style

I braved the Rat Palace today, for no other reason than it’s raining here in La La land and playgroup didn’t want to go to the mall. No one wanted to clean their house or make coffee and muffins, so we all opted to take our chances at the place-that-shall-not-be-named.

I survived. And I ate salad. Bonus!

But here are some things that hit me while chasing the Count through a maze of “ping ping” “ding!” “beeps” and “clink clinks” rounded out, of course, with some horrible animatronics and cheesy covers.

Why do so many random Dads bring their kids? Is this a divorced/single Dad staple place?

How much are the 40-somethings working there making? And do they really love their jobs, or are they just pedophiles?

Is there crack in the pizza sauce? Because its the only substance on earth I know of that had every toddler in our group actually EATING. And eating well.

Is whack-a-mole too violent? The Count played once, then got upset he was hurting the moles.

Punch a duck? We punched ducks, and that was hilarious. So does whacking moles equal abuse yet punching ducks equals high comedy?

Is it just standard practice the cheap toy “bought” with the minimal tickets a toddler can earn ALWAYS break on the way home? Every. Single. Time.

How long until we’re all sick from that germ infested place? I’m giving us 24 hours.


  1. For one thing, dads like to go there because of the video games. My husband is always trying to get us to go to Peter Piper Pizza for similar reasons. But secondly, if they only get to see the kids once a month (divorce dads), then of course they want to take the kid somewhere mommy would never be dumb enough to tak them.

    I would say pedophiles, or guys working out of a pre-release work program.

    Not sure about the crack. I haven’t taken my kids to one yet, so I haven’t experienced this phenomenon.

    As for the mole vs. duck thing, my kids love whacking moles. I think it’s a tast issue.

    Finally, the cheap toy? Yeah. Just get used to it. It’s always gonna happen.

  2. Arianna beats the crap out of the moles.

    She RELISHES it.

    This probably should worry me.

  3. I.Hate.That.Place.

    I’m thrilled that there isn’t a Chucky Sleeze anywhere near us now.

    The men go because they are just big kids…they get to scarf down pizza and play games.

    I’ve been thinking about starting a playgroup here, but there aren’t many SAHMs around here.

  4. 24 hours tops. That place is evil.

    We have one right near our new house. We’ll take the kids when you come and visit.

  5. I don’t think it was ever mentioned in the book by Dante, but Charles E Cheddar is definitely one of the lower rings of hell. The noise drives me insane. The older kids that push their way past the younger kids and even try to take their tickets make my blood boil (Oh yes, and we have chased them down and given them what for and gotten our tickets back! Can’t help it, I’m a teacher)

    Mole Whacking and Duck Punching are equally entertaining to my son. Keep in mind there were no weapons (guns, blasters, shooters, lasers, light sabers, Power Rangers, Jedis, etc) in our house until very recently (thank you, fellow kindergarteners). We were (and still are) very anti-violence and don’t want to encourage violence in our children. But ya just gotta love Whack a Mole and the duck punching. Everyone has to have an outlet, don’t ya think? 🙂

  6. I believe the single dad thing might be because men are all kids at heart. Why do you think Dave and Busters is opening new locations all over the place?

    I don’t really know what else to say about your single dad comment. With Emily’s work schedule, I’m out alone with Will a lot, and I try to go different places sometimes. We haven’t been to a Chuck E Cheese yet, but that was one of my favorites as a kid and now you’ve given me an idea.

    I guess my question to all the women here is: Do you assume a man out with his kids sans “Mommy” is automatically divorced and that’s his visitation weekend? I suppose that might explain some strange feelings I’ve gotten in the past off people I’ve met when out with Will alone. And if that is the case, I’m wondering if I should feel insulted or complimented for still being married?

    But now that you’ve mentioned it, I think a trip to Cheese land might be in order soon.

  7. Yes, I too have wondered about the middle agers in there working. LOL.

    And single dads? I don’t know but I know when I go a little coo coo and need some space the hubby takes him there or places like that LOL.

    Glad you had fun, and yeah.. the germs are having a party as we speak. LOL


  8. Yikes, is the economy that crappy in California that middle-aged people work at the rat place? Only teenagers work there here in lovely upstate NY. And I for one LOVE whack a mole. I steal my kids tokens and play it, beat the hell out of them little suckers. No pent up aggressions here. And skeeball too, love skeeball.

  9. You so didn’t just mention Whack a Mole.

    Don’t let my husband see this – he’s the self-proclaimed King of Whack a Mole, and just seeing this will make him start thinking homicidal thoughts about those poor moles again.

    Heh…the word verification looks like a toddler trying to say mistletoe: mivltoh.

  10. The violent games remind me of fairytales …all nice on the outside, then you really THINK about it…2 children KILLING a witch? A poisenor of a queen? What are we teaching our children? Of course it’s only when you grow up you realise the sick twisted characters we so adored..
    My bet is less than 24 hours, those are supergerms your dealing with!

  11. I would really love your opinion on something. If you have a few minutes, my “dilemma” is located here. (It’s a short post.)

    I’d love the opinions of any other Moms that may see this, too.


  12. I have never set foot in there, nor has my younger kid. Her older sister went there–once–for a bday party. Otherwise, nope, nope, nope!

    Part of my aversion to the place is that one of my brother-in-laws has been Chuck E Cheese. Not because he’s a pedophile–if anything he’s asexual) but because he’s into costume characters–in fact he does a cable TV show as a costume character!

    One way or another, the only way you’d get me in there is with a large, large, CAT in tow!

Speak Your Mind