Captain No Pants and the best park ever

If you have a park better than THIS one in our neighborhood, call me out. Because this park, smack dab on the Pacific, kicks your park’s ASS. That’s right, I’m still ass kicking.

We went to Santa Barbara this weekend and had a ball. There is nothing like a good Santa Barbara outing to lift the spirits and get you happy. Except for the fact that Count Waffles the Terrible has a new alter ego: Captain No Pants.

Potty training (which is going really well -knock on wood- by the way) means his pants are on and off…a lot. But he prefers them off. His sister follows suit and declare herself “Naaaa bababa!” which translates into NAKED BABY! Which must be said just like that…in a scream. You also need to throw your hands in the air.

Anyway, everyone has been naked around here a lot more lately. Which is great for potty training, but not so great when it’s been the coldest and wettest spring in Southern California in recent memory.

So today, we’re trying to go to playgroup…but Captain No Pants is refusing to put pants on. Much like this weekend when we wanted to leave for Santa Barbara and I couldn’t get him to put pants on.

“Can’t we go to the zoo with no pants, Mommy?”

Costumes, capes, hats…I can handle. But how the hell do I get out of the house when kids have NO PANTS???

I’m off to wrestle a 3-year-old now.


  1. I think even zoos in Europe frown upon that.

  2. I had a similar problem with my son until my dad got ahold of him. He told him that one of the animals might “confuse his whizzer for a worm” and decide that it wanted to eat.
    Now granted, he was scared to go at all after that, but I never had problems with getting him to wear pants again!

    Glad y’all had a good time. It’s nice to get away for a while.

  3. Well duh. I live next to the ghetto park. Even so, how DARE you talk about your park kicking my park’s ass. What is WITH you? Where do you get off? I’m just so offended.

    Excuse me while I go spank my children and give them a Barbie doll that drives an army tank.

    *Do I need some of those star things here?

  4. Becky totally just made me pee myself.

  5. Oh, that was all so refreshing. I needed a lift today! HEE HEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Thanks for the giggles, ALL of you!

    QofS, sorry about the pants issue, but I’m so stoked for you that potty training is going well. Wahoo! LOVE the “NAKED BABY!” thing. HA HA HA! That girl has SO much personality, doesn’t she?

  6. OHhhh yes. We potty trained in the fall when it was still hot. My kid ran around in only his underwear for a LONG time but yeah, not outside. That was a battle.

    LOL…. oh so funny. Does he stand or sit?

  7. He’s standing. And he has a stool. And if we’re out…he insists that I hold him higher while he stands. Oh boy.

  8. LOL…I have a friend who went through the no-pants phase with her 3 year old boy. Only he wasn’t close to potty training yet, and liked to be totally naked.

    She had to resort to duct-taping his diaper shut to prevent him from taking it off and then using the carpet as his potty.

    At least it’s warm where you are! No pants in the winter here would be cold!

  9. Oh, yeah, just rub it in; your kid is ahead of mine in potty training, and then you have to show me that “park” – where I’m from, it’s called a beach, biatch!

    LOL… j/k, you know I love ya 😉

  10. I’m terrified of potty-training – such a daunting task – but the thought of my cutie running around pants-less makes it something to look forward to! As it is, he constantly rips his diaper off just to run around half-naked (such cute little bunnards!!!)
    Also… becky… too funny.
    And… yeah. i hate you that that’s your “beach” – hrmmph. I’ll have to post pics of the park I was thrilled about that’s only 1 block from our home… now… you’ve taken the wind out of my sails, dammit!!! =)

  11. It’s my understanding that it’s pretty OK in China. At least, that was the report from my friend who went there as part of the adoption process, to get her daughter. She told me, “Every kid’s butt in China is just swinging in the wind.” Apparently they don’t do nearly as much diapering as we do.

    So, I say let the boy go naked to the zoo. Just choose your zoos carefully.

  12. Just found your blog through Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored and I love it! Can I come play at your park?!?!?

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