Am I Your Dirty, Little Secret??

It’s not easy to look at this page, I’m sure. There is the lavender hue. The big fucking tiara in the corner. And usually some sappy photos of children on the latest post.

The first paragraph almost always says “fucking,” or “vagina,” or “suck it.” And you really can’t escape sex talk or diaper talk or the fine art of shaving your whoo-ha.

Which is why I am your dirty little secret. The place you click when, apparently, you’ve had your fill of those other blogs. Or, as I was told..those “real blogs.”

If Dooce and Finslippy are your morning coffee and newspaper, the Queen of Spain is your ice cream and Star.

I think I’m going to take that title and run with it. I don’t mind being your “Poor Mom’s Fussy.” In fact, I think I’m going to revel a bit in being called the “tabloid” of Momblogs.

…because we all know that you might skim your newspaper, but you MUST read every little detail about the Queen giving oral sex to the Kaiser and being interrupted by screams from the baby monitor.


  1. Oh!, i feel so nasty after a session with the Queen…but as we like to say ovah here fuck’em if they can’t take a joke!;-)

  2. Yours is among the first 3 I read everyday (Sarah and the Goon Squad and The Blogfathers being the other two) and I talk about your posts ALL the time. Not every single one since I do live with the uber conservative JW inlaws. Maybe I’m just a dirty dirty person. Oh my husban will LOVE this revelation! I think we’ve done up and made his day.

  3. Who said you weren’t a “real” blog? I’ll happily go bash them for you, just say the word: I got yo’ back. 🙂

    You’re most certainly not our tabloid blog around here. More like our Dateline NBC or Editorial column in the paper, really. Both Aaron and I read the blog and some topics lead to us having conversations on the topic after reading.

  4. A friend of mine is convinced that the earth must be the Stuckey’s of the universe. (Don’t know if they have those outside of the South or not… )I’m thinking he’s probably right.

    Having said that, I’d like to think of you as more a modern day Erma Bombeck. Someone who will say the things that are on my mind, thus sparing me the horror of actually having to type it all out myself.

    I’m proud to say that you’d fit in just fine with my friends and I. You’ve seen that Halloween picture I posted a while back, you know what I mean. 🙂

    Keep on writing fair Queen and screw em’ if they can’t handle a little reality.

  5. Does your mom still read your blog? Are you trying to make her stop? ha ha ha! None of that is criticism, just honest questions. I love reading your blog every day, and come back several times during the day as well to read the comments, which often leads me to reading other blogs. Ya gotta love it. Slipshod also greatly enjoys your blogs, and Sweet Pea LOVES to see the pictures and videos that you post of Count Waffles and Princess Peanut. See? You’re a family blog and you don’t know it! ha ha

  6. It’s ok honey. You’ve been the dirty little secret in my family for a long time now.

  7. Is someone shittin’ on the queenie? Let us know and we’ll sick’em…

    You’re not my dirty secret, maybe because I’m just dirty most of the time anyway….Dooce got to be a big old news for me so I de-blogrolled her(gasp! THE HORRORS!!)…I’d rather read people more like me and that I can interact with a bit more…people where if I am allowed to comment, I am not just “poster #5,692”..

    Rock on wit’ yo’ bad self.

  8. I love your blog! My husband reads it because you actually discuss sex and make him laugh (most of the other blogs that I read don’t, on either count), and he loves the funny kid stories.

    You’re not a tabloid at all. Tabloids are full of fabricated stories. Somehow, I always believe that your stories are true!

  9. You’re on my blogroll, so it’s not much of a secret that I read & comment here. It takes more than a little sex talk or cheerleader-bashing to scare me off, even when I do disagree.

  10. I agree with Emily… I’d RATHER read women I can relate to, who are more like me (even if we don’t always agree) then some stuffy bullshit blog. You are one of the very few blogs (and reign of ellen) that I actually check every day. And… i am a tabloid looking, People subscribing, sex talking, farting, gooey mom, too. That’s what I want to hear more about. they can take those “Real” blogs and bite me. suck it, ya’ll! This is the REAL DEAL!!

  11. Actually-all of it was said to me as a compliment!

    I think it’s funny. And true really.

    My blog is a train wreck and I’m damn proud!

  12. I was never into Dooce.

    You, however, crack me up!

    Yay for trainwrecks!

  13. OK, if it was meant as a compliment and you’re cool with it, I’ll call off the Irish mafia.

    Seriously, you’re one of the few blogs I read where I feel like we could all hang out together to shoot the shit and totally understand each other.

    Some days, after reading your blog, I find myself wishing that we lived closer.

  14. I’m with ya’ Christina. I’ve found people like you-who I would totally hang out with. But I feel like we get to hang out, in a way…sort of.

  15. Well, okay… if you’re cool with it… i GUESS i’m cool with it… =)

  16. VV-all relatives have been warned they read this site at their own peril, I think my Mom stopped somewhere around the crotch post. Now she only checks when I tell her it’s safe.

    And I can’t complain about being called the tabloid of Mommyblogs. I mean…at least I get email, right? Not to mention it really seemed to be a harmless email. But I paired it with some others I got recently and it seems I’m just not considered very…um…”professional.”

    I also had a discussion last night with the Kaiser about how difficult it is for some hubbies to check the site from work. Big tiara on your computer screen and all…

  17. I don’t live ANYwhere near, I’m not living your kind of life, but I love your blog. It makes me wish there was blogging during my parenting days.

  18. Not a real blog? Huh? Whatever!

  19. I love reading your blog.

    Personally, I love reading trashy tabloids on long flights or car rides. They are easy, fun reads.

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