Dear Advertisers

To Whom It May Concern,

You are in luck today! I don’t want to censor you, v-chip you, ask you to tone it down, or tell you to stop making commercials.

But you should know, I’m not watching. So it really doesn’t matter. You might as well keep making them however you want.

You see, when it’s 2pm on a Sunday and the family is gathered around watching a game…we skip your commercials. My kids, they don’t need to see a woman’s face melt, a guy with a gun shooting aliens, Tom Cruise running from spaceships while crap blows up everywhere, or your latest war game where people’s heads explode.

We’re not only NOT watching your ads, we’re not buying your products.

So you can go ahead and keep showing your violent, frightening, foul-mouthed ads when children are still awake. I just thought you might want to know the consumer isn’t watching.

Maybe you’ve forgotten we don’t NEED to watch? Even without TIVO, I have the power to turn off the television. That’s right, some responsible parents actually TURN OFF THE TV when the programming may be objectionable. I know you are probably used to parents who are lazy, and will let your brainwashing ads sink into those little brains. I mean, all you have to worry about is the FCC right?


In fact, this Mom isn’t even a fan of the FCC. Or Tipper Gore. Or letting the government decide what is appropriate for her family.

Well, anyway. Good luck selling that video game, movie, war toy…whatever it is you are hocking. Maybe those same morons that blindly follow the herd here in good old America will shell out some cash for your crap.

Queen of Spain

p.s. I’m not buying Floam. Ever.


  1. Floam? I must have been gone too long! What’s floam?

    As for the post, well put my dear! Bohemians everywhere back your Royal Highness fo sho!

  2. I mute live TV, and fast forward on TiVo. I’m right there with you.

  3. What is Floam? We’ve had Tivo for so long that we don’t even know what movies are coming out. Haven’t watched commercials in years. But Sweet Pea *usually* doesn’t watch regular channels anyway. For her it’s PBS and Noggin, and usually only in pre-Tivo’ed chunks, at my discretion (which, I admit, is not as timed or edited as some parents might do, if I need a shower or to get something else done). I cringe when we’re somewhere else and they turn on Cartoon Network or something and just let all the toy, etc. commercials run.

  4. Is Floam like the Flowbee? ha ha ha! It’s Wayne’s World’s Suck-Cut! “It certainly sucks!” ha ha ha!

  5. Floam?


    Not a fan of Tipper Gore?
    What world is this?

    I don’t have any TV service at all. What the heck have I been missing?

    Good for you. You tell em!

  6. Good for you! Your reasons for turning off the TV are the very same as mine, although the TV has been banished in our half-finished basement to use ONLY for movies or football games that my husband so loves (he only watches the Steelers and we all watch the SuperBowl). Since that TV was moved into the basement, it has done a world of good for my family. Before we did that, we could NOT imagine what we would do in the time that we spend watching TV. Now we are so busy that we don’t have time to think about TV! It helps that the TV is out of sight, therefore out of mind. 😉

  7. I HATE FLOAM! I bought it (from a store, way before the commercial even came out). I thought it would be fun. I thought I would like it. It sucks. It stains. Don’t ever buy it.

  8. Someone gave us Floam for a b’day present. Stand firm and do not buy it! I still don’t know what it is, but it was some crazy stuff.

  9. The funny thing about Floam is that they actually say, in the commercial, “Floam sticks to EVERYTHING!”

    Nice work marketing gurus. I can see you really focus grouped this stuff…

    And good call, Queen, on the anti-commercial commercial break. My husband and I were just last night talking about how the modern-day commercial, like long-distance, is soon going to be relegated to the same bin you’ll find the eight-track tapes and rotary dial phones in. Good riddance to both, I say (commercials and long distance, I mean. I don’t really have a beef with eight-tracks or rotary dial phones). Yay TiVo! Yay Vonage!

  10. Floam. *shudder* Never in this house.

    During Cordy’s awake time, I’ll admit to the TV being on far more than it should. But it never leaves Noggin or Playhouse Disney. No commercials on either of those, so no worries about evil advertisers trying to warp my child’s mind.

  11. Oh, I want Floam….so SO badly…I just don’t wanna have to share it with the kids….

  12. *nods* to the floam.

    Glad you care enough to monitor what your kids see. If my kids see something objectionable then it becomes a topic of discussion. We’re open and honest with them. They’ve been known to tell me they didn’t like a commercial!

    We have DVR (basically Tivo) and it sure is nice.


  13. I almost gave into the Floam until I looked it up on eOpinions and read that it stains and smells terrible. No thanks.

    P.S. This blog rocks!

  14. Anonymous says:

    You know what…I just saw a Floam commercial. I found it enticing. Then I slapped myself in the face.

    The fact that they always say “Not sold in Stores” and “for a limited time only” really disturbs me, because you can always find it in stores for a better deal, and they show the same commercial, so that limited time must be a process of over several dozen years…

    I will never buy false advertisement, and because we’re in the United States and legally you can’t take someone to court for a cost that is under 20$, I will never support them.

    Evil, evil people.


  15. Anonymous says:

    You really might wanna cool your jets. I mean, yeah, they might not be right for your family, but there are so many other Americans who this could be there calling.

    Much as you enjoy this “game” that you see on TV, someone else might enjoy those commercials or want the information from them. Some people find that those things “are” appropriate for their family.

    You have the ability to turn off the TV, or activate your v-chip or fastforward, and that’s why the abilities of these things were invented. So stop complaining, we didn’t complain that they came out with the Tivo so that people like you could fastforward through them.

    And we don’t complain that the content is as limited as it is.

    Bottom line: if you don’t like it, either change the channel, cancel your subscription with whoever you’re signed on with, or turn off the TV. But America isn’t gonna change its ways just because you don’t want to watch a commercial.

    Besides, without commercials television would happen too fast. Shows would only last on average 15-20 minutes. Then it would go right on to the next show. Producers couldn’t produce as fast as we watch, and then EVERYTHING would become a rerun. More of a brainwashing boredom than commercials anyways. Your family doesn’t have to spend their time around the TV, play a board game or something.


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