To all the men I’ve beaten down before

There is nothing like a snarky woman in your fantasy football league to spice things up.

Try three. The girls and I are officially part of the Blog Pound League some Daddybloggers and Draft Day Suit bloggers put together. And while Sarah and Gidge really know their football, my NFL knowledge is above par, yet still lacking. So I am resorting to Guerrilla Warfare.

The boys have already started talking smack. And if there is one thing I do really well (hey, hey…out of the gutter there boys-but you’d be right on that too) it’s speak to grown men like they are helpless children. I’ll start with the usual verbal assaults, but don’t think I’m above a long monologue about my period and tampons just to make you weep and beg for mercy.

You boys know that women never play fair. So expect me to cheat and catfight my way to the pot of gold in this league. I’ll have you quitting because your WIFE won’t let you play with that bitch anymore. Is that PORN on your computer again? Did it really come from that GIRL in your fantasy league??? Oh yeah, I will stoop that low.

So I figure with the boys out of the way, my only real competition is the gals. Sarah will put too many Bucs players on her team to be a real threat. I’m hoping Gidge gets overwhelmed with the whole “has a job� thing and misses some key transactions.

That just leaves me. And my ample breasts. Which I will use and abuse in order to win money. And fame. And glory.

Oh, and Sarah…I totally blame you for my new obsession with fantasy football. You’ve created a monster.


  1. You think I’m afraid of you? I have 4 kids 6 and under I fear nobody…except them.

  2. Oh no, my friend, I never load up on Bucs in a live draft. You will see. This is for money.

    I’ve got my Bucs underpants and my Viking helmet on. Nobody else stands a chance.

    Yes, I have Bucs underpants. They are super cute too. That is what you get with a girl football fan.

  3. Loser has to take a pic of their favorite NFL underpants! And yes they have to be ON!

  4. You guys really have to stop saying underpants. It’s cracking me up. My 3-year-old says Underpants. Grown men and women are allowed to say “panties” or “underwear” or “delicates.” Underpants is killing me.

  5. We call them “unmentionables.”

  6. Ok, I need to start a survey here. I say underpants ARE in fact, pants. Erin says that underpants ARE NOT pants.

    They’re called underPANTS. They’re just a specific type of pant. Like Capri pants. Or Hammer pants.

    So what says all you out there on the internets? Underpants: Pants or not pants?

  7. NOT PANTS. Underpants are called underpants because they go UNDER your pants. Shorts are short pants. THey are not a specific type of pant, they are just the under to your pant. Capri pants are a specific type of pant. If pants are the category than the subcategories can be capri, hammer, etc. But not the UNDERpant.

  8. We say undies or (if you’re my husband) underoos. Yeah, we’re super mature here.

    I vote they aren’t pants, but rather, a prerequisite for pants. And don’t say that you go cowboy or commando or whatever – in skirts, maybe. In pants? Wedgie city. Yuck!

  9. That’s one for me. Zero for Kaiser

  10. Well, I think that if you are in Ireland, they are pants, and they don’t need the under part. In fact my sister was quite laughed at about calling her “trousers” pants. Of course I would laugh at her anyway, but that is just me. 🙂

    However, in Canada, we wouldn’t call underwear a kind of pant at all. Kaiser, what are you thinking? Of course it is because they go under your pants!

  11. OOOOh…I love fantasy football. LOVE IT! Good luck!

  12. Who uses the term underpants anymore? Dude, my grandmother says underpants, and she’s referring to underwear, undies, panties, tighty-whiteys, or boxers. Not pants.

  13. They make Bucs underpants? Wow, I live nearby to their home field and I’ve never seen Bucs underpants for sale.

    Are they like underoos? That’d be so cool.

    Think they have them for Dolphins fans? Cause that’d be me.


  14. Underpants go under the pants. Sorry Kaiser.

    Shash – Buccaneer Heaven has football iunderpants and so does the Fan Attic.

  15. I’ve been battling twins for over a year. I fear no one.

    Remember, when in doubt, play a Lion.

  16. Weren’t we talking about football? Now underpants?

    Kaiser, they are not pants. I say this because one would not normally go out in public in underpants alone, unless you’ve had too many beers and forgot to put PANTS on!

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