We’re settling ourselves in muggy Florida while the pollution from the fires lingers over and around our home. I talked with the Kaiser today and he sounds as if he smokes 10 cigars a night. Another friend says it looks like its going to rain, but there is no weather system in our region.

My son is allergic to pollution, as many of you know, and I am still just so relieved we are away. We’re keeping the asthma at bay despite a minor cold…something I know would not happen if we stayed in our valley. His little sister is also sniffling so today we just took a drive around my parent’s Florida town instead of anything touristy or too taxing on my recovering kids.

Stepping out of the minivan on a swampy island road, I discovered it’s lovebug season in Florida. Very quickly we were swatting and screaming and running back into the car. Then came the tears.

Nana had turned on the windshield wipers and many a lovebug was squished in the process.

Nana the bug murderer.

The 4-year old is SHOCKED, and my mom and I broke into giggles. Evil? Maybe…but I swear it was funny…mainly because I looked at my mom and said “what were you THINKING?”

I’m happy to be killing bugs here in Florida. I’d rather my son is crying over dead insects than crying with a mask over his face in a hospital bed. The stories of how the air is affecting our community are starting to pour in…none good and none I want to talk about right now.

Some asshats apparently tried to start another fire by us this week and my mind is just scrambled by these pyro fucktards who think any of this is a game. One of the largest fires here in SoCal is now officially being called arson, as are some others.

Frankly I’m all for public hangings. Or better yet…when we get back I’ll put them all on my van’s windshield and squish.

Breathing easy


  1. Weird. It isn’t really love bug season in Florida. That should have ended in September, though we did see a few in the first week of October.

    I wonder why you’ve got them there when they’ve been gone for almost a full month just a hundred miles west of where you are.

    I hate love bugs and I’m glad we only have them for two months of the year.

  2. Queen of Spain says:

    Queen update.

    RAIN IN CALIFORNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. The mere fact that you are someplace that has a “bug season” in order to protect your child’s health makes you parent of the year in my book.

  4. Please film the smooshing of firestarters so I can watch and cheer you on.
    Load it up on utube.
    glad you are safe.
    sorry for the dumbbugs.
    Stupid invention.

  5. Ugh. Love bugs are disgusting. I remember wading through a sea of them in Houston once, thanking the heavens that we don’t have those cursed creatures here in Chicago. Anywho, glad to hear y’all are still safe and recovering. And yay for rain!

  6. (Also, I second what Candace said about filming the smooshing and sharing the video online. I’ve got some popcorn ready just in case.)

  7. I think this was a great decision. As a mom of a child (maybe two) with asthma, I can totally relate to doing anything to keep him/her healthy. Enjoy your reprieve…

  8. I am so glad that you and the kids were able to get out of Cali. I know we have never met but there was deep concern from one and all in my home for you and your kids health and safety. Now, go squish them arsonnotsolovebugs. You, squish ’em REAL good!!!

  9. Glad to hear you guys are adjusting okay, even if you are staying with a bug murderer!

    Just remember, you did the best thing for your babies and that’s what matters. See? You didn’t overreact.

  10. Thinking of you and all of my other friends who have had to relocate. Be well, enjoy your time away as best you can.

  11. Glad to hear you’re safe and healthy, although so far from home. Take care; and feel no guilt for smashing those bugs!

  12. I’m glad you’re safe, but you missed a helluva party at Kevin Charnas’, and we missed you too.

  13. Where in Florida are you? Anywhere near Tampa? If so, definitely email me!

  14. Bugs are gross and deserve to be squished. As do arsonists. I’m in agreement with your punishment scheme.

  15. canoe chick says:

    What are lovebugs?? They have such a cute name, I am so sad that they are horrid…

  16. Love bug season is actually a joke.
    It’s always Love Bug season.

    They just SWARM during certain parts of the year.

    And their guts eat the paint of your car, which is nice.

    You should love them.

    All they do is fuck.


  17. Am delurking to say I’m thinking of you and your family.

    I like your idea of punishment for the arsonist. It blows my mind how someone would WANT to do something like that.

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