Tomorrow my friend WhyMommy will undergoing surgery.

Tomorrow I’m going to remember that a bald avatar in SL, wearing a Queenly tiara, means a Mom with cancer can still attend BlogHer and have some fun. It means I made a new friend who will be on my mind as the day passes into night.

Tomorrow I’m going to send all my thoughts and love to WhyMommy and her family.

We’re all here and we all love you and we know you‘re going to kick  kicked cancer’s ass.

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Citizen of My Heart

Dude, I just got called a Mata Hari – a blogher mata hari, none the less. I like it.

The rumors are true, I did throw Citizen of the Month (I refuse to call him Neil) against a diaper changing station in the back of an overpriced Mexican restraurant in a vain attempt to make him worship and promote all that is and in second life.

I’m not ashamed. Its all about sacrifice. Its for the greater good. Its all about the links.
…and I had accomplices. (accomplice-i?) I mean…what man could or would deny LeahPeah, Mocha Momma, Katronika, and ME?? He’d have to be dead or gay. So we worked our wiley women charms after the live and full of humiliation readings at LA Angst and he left dazed and muttering “Queen rules all..Queen rules all…Long live the Queen” or something-it was hard to hear with Kelly’s tongue down his throat. Did I mention she licks?

All kidding aside, I’m sorry it took me two days to get around to telling you about LA Angst but good god people, did you NOT see the major conference I’m hosting? My hands may not be as full as the fine ladies setting up the real deal in Chicago…but its possible even my avatar self is stressed out.

100 registrants for BlogHer ’07 in Second Life, and counting. Kick ass schedule. Kick ass speakers. Kick ass band. I’ll be in Chicago, and virtual in the SL conference. Which means you can drink with me two ways. But beware, Citizen of the Month may never be the same, and neither will you.

(he’s in the middle-wearing a shirt from DETROIT…yeah, don’t think I didn’t call him out on that one)

LA Angst

Register-before the spots are alllll gone!

*ok, for those who don’t know yet—Elizabeth Edwards, Amy Sedaris, Kim Gandy—ALL in Chicago and we’re going to pipe them in LIVE to Second LIFE—get REGISTERED NOW

BlogHer ’07 in Second Life it taking off!!! Is your avatar flying with us, or still stuck on the ground??

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Many of you have downloaded Second Life this past week and it’s time to take a deep breathe and get comfortable moving around.

I’m sure it would be just fine with you if our conference just came to your avatar and set up shop-but trust me…you are going to want to walk (or fly) around the FOUR island conference center provided by, not to mention dance to a live performance by female-fronted band Toe’d Up at Sanctuary Rock (a Second Life based nightclub-owned and operated by a fellow female blogger!)and strut your stuff with your personalized avatar makeover compliments of

So yeah, you need to learn how to move.

First thing is first..the arrow keys are your friends. They do it all and you need to get comfortable using “up” as a forward move and “down” as backward.

The “page up” and “page down” keys will help you jump and fly…but using the “fly” button on the bottom of your screen might be the way to start off. Once in the air, you can then use those all important arrow keys to move forward, back, left and right.

Let’s practice together! Don’t forget I am available to help and SHOW you these things during my BlogHer in SL office hours:

Queen Tureaud office hours:(PST)
Monday 10-2pm
Wednesday 10-2pm
Thursday 5pm-8pm
Sunday 4-7pm

If you can’t figure out how to send me an instant message while you are in SL-send me an email during those hours at and I will come FIND YOU.

For those who have yet to register-get moving! You will get to hear audio LIVE from Chicago and mingle with BlogHers in Second Life. Registration is free.

Can’t make it to BlogHer in Chicago? Attend VIRTUALLY!!!

“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”- The Queen, in Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass.

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While Lewis Carroll’s Queen in Through the Looking Glass believed her six impossible things before breakfast, this Queen has done them. In the virtual world of Second Life anything is possible. It’s possible to fly, it’s possible to visit far off lands, and it’s possible to bring hundreds of BlogHers to the Chicago conference without ever leaving their homes.

I’m Queen Tureaud. It’ a Second Life avatar name. You may know me as BlogHer Contributing editor Erin Kotecki Vest of Queen of Spain blog. For those of you who can’t make it to the BlogHer ’07 conference in Chicago, I’ve teamed up with Elisa, Lisa, and Jory to bring Chicago to you.

BlogHer in Second Life will offer the opportunity to experience the Chicago conference live on a virtual platform, complete with general sessions, audio feeds, and even a virtual cocktail party! Similar to BlogHer ’07 in Chicago, the BlogHer Second Life virtual conference will feature an interactive format designed to inspire discussion. Not to mention FREE virtual goodies from our sponsors and vendors!

So how does it work?

First thing is first, if you want to attend the virtual conference you will need to download and install Second Life. Unfortunately it will not run on all computers, so check Second Life system requirements at . A basic account at Second Life is free.

Next, you will need to register for the conference. Registration can be completed at Registration is free.

Now you are ready to get comfortable in this virtual world, and Queen Tureaud is happy to be your guide. I will be holding Second Life training and office hours to get you ready for the conference.

Queen Tureaud office hours:(PST)
Monday 10-2pm
Wednesday 10-2pm
Thursday 5pm-8pm
Sunday 4-7pm

You can email me at, or you can instant message me while IN Second Life by using “search” on the bottom of your tool bar and searching for “Queen Tureaud.” Click on Queen Tureaud to pull up my profile and send me an “instant message” telling me who you are and that you are a BlogHer. I will then work with you and hold your hand in the sometimes complicated but always fun virtual world.

You can also take advantage of Second Life tutorials to get you started. These resident made video tutorials can be found at .

BlogHer in Second Life will be a PG event. This means those of you wishing to explore some of the more adult oriented spaces will have to do that on your own, and it will be expected that you adhere to these policies while attending any BlogHer events in Second Life.

I will be posting at with tips, tricks, and ideas to get you ready for the virtual conference.

Hope to “see” you there!

The Twat Isle (of Eden)

I hate going to the feminine needs aisle anywhere.

I’m not embarrassed. I’m not shy. I just hate when that ONE old man in the store ends up looking for Old Spice in that aisle on accident while you painstakingly decide between the supersuper have a happy period Kotex or the heavy/super Always max.


So why all the twat talk? Let’s just say I had to be taken to the doctor by my husband this morning due to…um…complications from the catheter during my surgery.

I swear I’m the only one in the world with an infection in her pee hole from having her thyroid removed. $10 to anyone who can find me someone else.

Anyway, it was doctor day because we then took both kids and they have the ear infection/sinus infection winter blahs with an added bonus of bronchitis for my little princess peanut.

Armed with cranberry pills and orange flavored amoxicillin, I’m ready to announce that Karen over at Swank has been kind enough to, once again, indulge me in a redesign which you, my faithful reader, will get to see very soon.

It’s beeeeeeeeeauuuuuuuuuuuuuutiful, if I do say so myself. The great and powerful Kaiser finally bestowed upon me his time and artistry and whipped up a lil something. Of course he made Sarah’s header eons ago. But I’m not keeping track. Really, I’m not.

The design will also include some very exciting Second Life information about my money making fun in the virtual world. Virtual world, real MONEY.

My business partner and I have been buying and selling virtual real estate and making some bank. Let’s just say our first deal TRIPLED in profit. He’s boy wonder and I’m the eye candy. Because in Second Life I totally get to be eye candy.

The really fun part is I plan on bringing you guys along for the ride. I’m counting on you. The Queen has a virtual castle in which everyone is welcome to talk, surf, ride jetskis, pet the monkeys (I’m not kidding) and meet each other in real time. For real talks. Having real fun. Ask Gidge….she’s living in my castle and having a blast.

You can advertise your blog at my pad. You can network with the likes of Arianna Huffington and Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Or you can go have cybersex with my neighbor. You can even buy land next door and set up your own place and we can all live in one, big, happy, Mommyblogging commune.

We’ve named the island the Isle of Eden, and in honor of my blogging friends I commissioned an AMAZING piece of artwork (because I can do that in second life…) that an amazing female artist painted to represent YOU. YOU my blogging friends. The artist has been reading our blogs (as part of her research) and she made this piece to be the focal point of our virtual girls night out space.

It brings tears to my eyes.

So grab some cranberry juice (just in case) and join me, won’t you? I’ll show you the piece and then we’ll go to an all male review.

The DotMominator

Come over to DotMoms today and say “hi!”

When you are done, get your SecondLife up and running because we’re having virtual cosmo’s on the beach!

I created a spot where we can all hang out and chat, laugh, and spend some time together online.  We can use my beach property as a spot for us bloggers to connect in real time, and not just in the comments of our posts! It can be our own chat and meeting area and everyone is welcome.

If Second Life is confusing you, just get going and IM “Queen Tureaud” and I’ll send you a teleport to my place. Then I can help you fix your hair and get you clothes and stuff.

Come to Rancho VonMotorhead where the beer is cold and the neighbors have hookers and the Queen finally got her dog!

My Second Life is Just as Boring as my First

Second Life is crack.

If you think blogging is crack, I recommend you run screaming from SecondLife. I am fairly certain children set things on fire in my house while I created Queen Tureaud ( a name that took me FAR too long to choose) and explored the 3D realm.

The problem, other than ignoring everything and everyone around me for hours on end, is that I did absolutely nothing in SecondLife.

Wait, that’s not true, I watched a hockey game for lack of knowing where to go or what to do.

I was offered a job as a dancer in a strip club, but I declined and went and watched a hockey game.

Story of my life.

Queen Tureaud (that's me) in SecondLife

I assume there is more to this 3D world thing than sex and hooking up, but I’m just not sure yet. Maybe you guys can point me to places on SecondLife that don’t involve me pole dancing or sitting at a slot machine? Maybe not.

Either way, if you’re looking to kill a good, oh…week, go check it out. And don’t say I didn’t warn you. Once you get past trying to make your hair not look like a muppet and wearing something other than what you might see on your local hooker you might even learn to fly.

Not that I did. My 3-year-old was GREAT at it…jumping canyons and shit. Me…um…I fell on my face many times and even landed on some guy from Switzerland who wasn’t too happy I didn’t want to go somewhere and cyber fuck him.

Consider me your dealer. And when you get there, don’t make fun of my stripper hair. It was the best I could do.