Let There Be Light

I like to romanticize my life in hoop skirts, corsets, and pantalettes. I can swoon with the best of them. Take gentleman callers, tea, and dance in a large hat.

But leave me without electricity for 12 hours and I’m in tears, praying to a God I don’t believe in, to deliver me from this hell of no air conditioning, television, internet, cold beer, and light.

I have no doubt that without modern conveniences I would have died, twice, in child birth and been left in the attic with my stepford crazies to count the swirls in the wallpaper.

The first few hours of powerless life here in suburbia were a novelty. We played games, swam in the pool, danced and sang silly songs. And after the novelty wore off, it was all about survival.

Lord of the Flies with teddy grahams and lukewarm juice. Puppets were sadly replaced for Jimmy Neutron and the off-off-off Broadway show bombed. The Royal Palace smelled of smoke from a nearby wildfire and entirely too stinky candles found stashed in the garage.

The afternoon heat became unbearable. The kids, more than restless. The Mom ¦medicated.

We took refuge at the Olive Garden for lack of knowing where else to go, and became the family that everyone stares at.

Mom in her sweats, dripping with sweat, and a dirty (pink) baseball hat. Daddy fresh from work and juggling two children content to play musical chairs/laps.

Eat, juggle. Drink, juggle. Retrieve toy from floor, peel off pepperoni from pizza, blow to cool, quickly take bite of own food, juggle, sip, repeat.

The drinks were not big enough. And the explanations of “we have no power at home”? brought faint smiles from wait staff and patrons.

Somewhere around 3am the house sprang to life. The air conditioning blared, the TV’s clicked, sweet, sweet power hummed and buzzed.

We can even watch the freak ass Doodlebops today. I just wish to bask in the glow of the TV, open and shut my cold fridge, and lick my laptop.

Hoop skirts are overrated.

Comments

  1. I think that is my definition of hell.

  2. Sorry to hear about the power outage. I wouldn’t have survived.

    I’m glad things are working now!!!

  3. I dread even the thought of the power going out. Olive Garden was an inspired idea.

  4. Queen of Spain says:

    I wanted the town center/a movie/food. The Kaiser came up with Olive Garden. I think he was right, because we would have walked forever at the town center

  5. It’s to bad you don’t believe in God, but praying to Him when in need is at least a start. Why not try to make a daily occurence?!

  6. Ugh. Doodlebops. I have NOTHING nice to say about them. LOL.

  7. I can’t even go camping because I can’t live without modern conveniences like air conditioning and electric lights. I would have never survived had I been born 200 years ago!

    The Doodlebops? No, no, not ever!

  8. Aaaagh! I hate the Doodlebops! They are so freaky looking? I mean, who really has hands that look like that?

    Glad that your power is back on. Good call on the Olive Garden thing. I would be much more adaptable to the power outage after downing a few pitchers of Sangrias!

  9. when I was 17 I lost power in my part of my house and we couldn’t afford to get the wiring repaired so I went by candle light in my room and bathroom for 8 months. yes, no power sucks espcially during the heat of summer!

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