In My Hood: Fires, Motrin, Moms

Exactly!

Why aren’t people letting it go? They already won.

Wow! With all the stress you’ve been under this weekend and you still turn out this over-the-top, excellent article? You rock! Great work.

Hope that everything is quiet in your neighborhood, take care.

Completely agree with you.

No, Motrin will not give up the mom market. That’s like 95% of their business right there.

But I agree, it’s ridiculous, the furor over this. And I heard a totally unsubstantiated rumor that the woman (a mother) who wrote the copy is now on “maternity leave,” mysteriously. If this is true, and it’s a forced leave, then that totally sucks.

Thank you! You said exactly what I was thinking.

I think you make an excellent point…one I was considering but did not know how to express. I thought the ad was terrible and insulting, and kudos to mamas (like Katja) who expressed that and focused the energy, and voting with your money is a person’s right, but I was also surprised at how absolutely enraged some people were by an advertisement that was snarky about babywearing.

But to Aaron Brazell–I highly doubt Motrin will go elsewhere…they do need moms. And it isn’t like they were giving moms anything in this case. We not only have the voice, here, we have the dollars of household spending. And we can always just buy from another company–preferably a non-affiliated generic to save money.

Exactly!

I have to say. I agree with you 100%.

Well done. Exactly. Nailed it.

Agreed. Johnson & Johnson does respond to complaints when they screw up. Now that we’re in the much faster, as in almost instantaneous, networking world, we get action fast. Gone are the days of waiting months to get an offensive ad pulled. I think this should be what we celebrate, not keep harping on their (J&J) faux pas.

Time for all of us to grow up because if we don’t, this instantaneous network will turn around and bite us in the proverbial ass.

I think that for the immediacy social media offer us, it also prolongs the hoopla. I was apparently under an Adirondack cloud, nursing and babywearing with the TV and Twitter off.

I have to echo lildb. I mean I love babywearing and breastfeeding, but both can hurt. If we really wanted to talk about the ad we could say it was overkill, the graphics ultimately becoming to unwieldy and the message getting distorted. I give them credit for trying, it means they aren’t overlooking us.

Great post and the Palin threat is enough to keep me in line.

I have to agree with Wesley.

(Don’t hurt me!)

I think that consumers are entitled to voice concerns about the stuff that bums them out. Not every blogger wants to make money and not every twitterer considers herself in the social media business.
But I do think a lot of the “Off with their head!” stuff was totally out of line.

As I said on my own post today, now it’s time to chill out, and let the brand figure out next steps. This wasn’t malicious and it wasn’t mean-spirited. It was mostly just clueless. In the end, it was really just a bad execution of a smart premise that, sadly, could have been fixed easily with a tone transplant.

While what say may apply to some of your readers, I don’t think it’s true of all the folks who weighed in on Twitter or elsewhere. Speaking as one of those amateurs, I’m neither a mommyblogger, a professional blogger, or someone interested in maintaining relationships with companies. I saw a tweet, viewed the ad I thought was insulting and stupid, expressed my opinion directly(and politely) to the company and in a tweet, and that was that. I also viewed with interest how some folks in the PR and blogging world needed to tell me with great vehemence that I had no sense of humor, needed a life, and should STFU. I find that reaction (which I noticed was not expressed exclusively by men, but was definitely pumped up by a few specific men) to be part of the same sexism that made the ad offensive to me in the first place; it sneers at women’s speech: “Just because YOU think it’s insulting doesn’t mean it is! You’re OVERREACTING!” Now, I do know that is not your point in this post, and that you’re speaking to a smaller community, but I believe there is still a need for some of us who see ourselves as activists rather than professionals to make rude noises when we see rude ads.
The kind of response I find most irritating is the complaint that if this bothers us we can’t possibly also be concerned with matters of greater import (”what about all the starving children in China, you frivolous tweeter, you!”). That’s just hostile concern-trolling.

I think it’s hard sometimes for groups that feel they’ve been ignored for too long to not only realize things have shifted, but also to act accordingly.

Classic example was of a local politician who’d spent his entire career as a flame-thrower, always running but never winning. Then one year he accidentally became elected. Unfortunately for him, he remained a flame-thrower and didn’t accomplish nearly as much as he could have because his insistence at remaining strident got in the way.

To put it another way, would we continue to harangue our kids after they’ve confessed their sins and served their time-outs? No.

Yet that’s exactly what the continuing Motrin bash is. Plus there’s some hits ho’ing going on, too. I’ve seen the same videos and blogs from yesterday’s initial angry reaction tweeted multiple times today, stirring the pot for the sake of traffic. That’s irresponsible.

Candace, I should’ve included in my comment that I did, in fact, wear my son as an baby, all the way through to when he was a walking kidlet. (The Ergo is a kick-ass sling, imo. Wish my neighbor would’ve returned it; now, if I have a second child, I’ll have to re-invest.)

I just thought the ad pointed to a basic issue. As Liz (Mom101) said, above, it was mostly an issue of tone (of voice), and the visual-text thingy they did was kind of annoying. But I felt that they at least got one thing right, which was that they managed to speak to a group of the population not generally targeted prior to very recent times: babywearers. So, +1 for speaking to us in the first place, and -1 for the tone of the woman’s voice-over (it *was* kind of annoying). Which is why I felt neutral about the ad after viewing it.

And when I think of the outrage I feel regarding the things I listed in my first comment (bailout, Katrina, Mormons screwing LGBT, Iraq war, the steadily worsening economy), and I compare them to an ad, I don’t see the fuss.

As I pointed out in my tweets on the subject, while people are entitled to their modicum of outrage, I’m entitled to feel zero such outrage re: the whole thing.

I thought the phenomenon was funny, and I had a lot of fun at Motrin’s expense yesterday. I don’t know that it’s fair to call out, as a group, the people who were writing about the ad for over-reacting or for acting like a mob. It sounds like a criticism of a choice (to act like a mob) where there is no agent making a choice. Nobody who tweeted or wrote (I’m guessing) thought “I am going to act on behalf of a group”; it was all just individual sentiment. Some of it was extreme, but I’d say the majority of it was just disappointment.

When you call a group out your criticism must be able to be internalized by the individual. But that’s a category error for situations involving something that looks like a mob: the mob is criticized but the individuals are not directly choosing to be a mob. They are PERCEIVED as a mob. But who thinks their lone tweet/blog post expressing a sentiment is going to add to the rolling ball of craziness, or to the perception that the group, in general and amorphous, will be perceived a certain way? The individual is going to have a hard time saying to himself “I really acted like a mob today and came off really unprofessionally.” The individual acts weren’t, in large part un-professional. They were exactly as professional as the profession demands: but the profession is personal blogging. There are no CEOs of personal bloggers to make decisions for the group in its entirety and present the best/most manipulative face to the world.

It’s like saying the Service Industry acted unprofessionally. Or the Tech Industry. The industries as a whole can do no such thing.

So, I don’t think there was a group over-reaction. I think there were thousands of individual reactions, some of them extreme and, as individual reactions were over the top. Some of them were un-critical, and the poorer for it. Some of them were sensible. Some of them were hilarious. But unless someone is going to install a CEO and Board of Directors for personal blogging I don’t think it’s on point to call out the group. Because everyone who wrote a personal sentiment in more or less than 140 characters will feel unfairly castigated for expressing a very short opinion, and the perceived mob, the unity, will feel nothing at all.

lildb–gotcha, I understand know that you were speaking in the voice of the PR person (not as yourself) when saying Motrin = pain relief from babywearing.

And yes, I like when babywearers (breastfeeders, whatever other group I belong to) is recognized…on 5M4M, I commented that perhaps “we” can make lemonade by using this to promote babywearing (done properly so it is without pain, of course)!

And I agree about the proportionality of the outrage. Though everyone is of course entitled…and I’m know many of these mamas spend time speaking out on other issues, as well.

I guess I’m fence sitting a bit (*ouch*), but I both see the point that the ad was derisive and trivializing and also the point that the response was, perhaps, disproportional. I see the point that every individual is entitled to his or her own reaction and really tweeting is not a huge expenditure of time and energy over the matter, but that at the same time some in the online mom community are concerned about how we present ourselves.

We are individuals, but, like it or not, there are some that will perceive us as a whole. Our actions, especially the de facto leaders in the community, will reflect on all of us. Now, of course, that doesn’t mean any one of us MUST do things one way or another…but I appreciate the suggestions and points in Erin’s post.

I think Anna hit the nail on the head http://www.abdpbt.com/?p=237 when she suggests that if Dooce had written a post which said the same thing, thongs of mommy bloggers would have been falling down laughing and agreeing.

So what is the lesson to companies like J&J? Don’t try to sit a the cool kid table without getting invited over first - cause the Mom’s - they get ugly when you cross them.

Woah - when did conformity become the new activism? To say that we cannot use our powerful voice because the corporations now get it and understand us is probably one of the saddest statements I’ve read in a long time. I saw no mob action here, I just saw a group of DIVERSE and opinionated people taking a stance against stupidity in advertising. If someone in that group wants to sound off, so be it. To muzzle strong voices and say “act like a professional” is a very sad statement and very Orwellian.

During the ‘08 BlogHer panel on The Commercialization of the Momosphere, Policy, Ethics and Outreach, I made the statement “There is no universal mom and there is no universal mom blogger” and our panel went into detail about how companies can engage successfully by letting go of the premise that there is merely one type of parent blogger. It’s obvious to anyone who’s reading blogs, we’re a diverse community. Any collective/individual response to the ad merely underscores that reality.
My own opinion is the ad failed, the apology has been issued, we can all learn from the experience and move forward in, what Aviva always loves to say, “A renewed spirit of understanding.”

Sure, Motrin needs moms. They just don’t need the moms who are being stupidly petty once the company backed off and apologized. Those moms can go buy their generic brands (which if you know the pharmaceutical industry, probably is just white-label Motrin anyway).

How well do you think it would be perceived if I, as a tech blogger, kicked HP’s ass like I did last year, they came around and fixed their problem, and I still went off on them.

You, dear Moms, are not entitled.

I do believe Mommy bloggers have a voice. It’s apparent their presence on Twitter has influence. A major company pulled an ad because of them. Other Moms who aren’t as popular on Twitter hold these women in high regard and will follow their lead.

I’m not a Mom and the ad didn’t matter to me. It obviously was offensive to some and Motrin respected their opinion enough to pull their ad and apologize. But it doesn’t end there. Bloggers are jumping to voice their opinions, which is why it isn’t going way.

You stated this in a comment …

Queen of Spain 11.17.08 at 12:44 pm

I am viewing this from the mothers who took the lead on this perspective. They are very, most assuredly, business women engaging in twitter for marketing their businesses. All of them, no. Those heading this…oh yes.

And you stated “I expect better from professionals. It’s time we start holding each other to higher standards. Please don’t ever make me compare you to Sarah Palin again, it hurts.”

It sounds like you are expecting all Mommy bloggers to be held to your higher standard. Isn’t that just as condescending to these Moms as Motrin was?

What’s wrong with expecting everyone be held to a higher standard? Be a better blogger. Be a better person. Use your powers for good, not evil!

Not to mention that loud, obnoxious, unprofessional bloggers from any stripe, in any industry, male or female who have the good fortune of being noticed, can hurt the reputation and power of the blogosphere as a whole.

You want power? Take advantage of the chances you have, and use it wisely. You never know who, or what enemy might be your ally down the road.

Be the change you want to see.

And kudos to you, Erin, for writing about this topic in a very professional and efficient way. The Mommymafia is alive and well I see.

<———nominates himself for “Luca Brazzi to the Mommymafia”. Slightly stupid, rhinoceros, unsophisticated weapon that can kind of be pointed but never fired with accuracy.

But I want to know who the Don is.

Agree. I saw & read Peter Shankman’s post first and left a comment there, and then followed the Twitterstream to this spot-on post. Nice job, Erin. As the founder of an organization that supports & advises mom business owners, many of whom are mom bloggers, I work hard to help them maintain a professional image. I support my fellow mom bloggers and Twitter moms: I admire their passion and their convictions and, personally, as a mom who wore both babies, agree with some of their arguments against the ads. Yet as a business woman who has to fight the masses every day to take mom business owners and mom bloggers more seriously for the incredible force that we truly are, I fear that the collective actions of the loudest will/have backfired, and put mom bloggers back at square one. Social media is a powerful platform. Choose your battles & your strategy wisely. Thanks for this post, Erin.

Donna Erin:

When I grow up? I totally want to be you! (if you’re done by then, that is…otherwise? I’ll just do wardrobe!)

You rock.

I agree with the person who said I hit the nail on the head. Personally.

Signed,
Unprofessional Acting Professional Mommy Blogger Who Buys Target Brand Ibuprofen

I remain mixed about the whole thing. I totally understand how moms could be offended and turned off by it. I didn’t have an overwhelming emotional reaction to it, but I understood. I blogged about it from a PR perspective. I just didn’t think the ad was in good taste. I agree to move on, but it does make for a good class discussion. Maybe the teacher side of me can’t escape that aspect!

Kudos Erin. This is why you ARE the Queen! (although Aaron is close on your heels for title of King - his comments were spot on as well!)

Oh and just for the record: I am a mom, I did not wear my kids (I was afraid that they’d slip out of that sling-thingy and go crashing to the floor), I use ibuprofen but am not brand loyal and I personally know Kathy Widmer. She is not some evil corporate entity setting out every morning to insult the mommysphere. She is a brilliant woman, a loving, caring mom of three and represents her company with the highest integrity. My hallucination is that she and her company did the right thing plus some and now it is beyond time to “put the baby to bed”.

Kudos Erin. This is why you ARE the Queen! (although Aaron is close on your heels for title of King - his comments were spot on as well!)

HA!

Well, Jim, you must not have been following too closely - while I agree with Erin that there’s a point at which the tirade needs to end - it doesn’t take too long to find the misogyny:

http://digg.com/health/Motrin_Learns_Hell_Hath_No_Fury_Like_Baby_Wearing_Moms
you’ll have to unbury some of the more foul ones

Gee, digg is full of misogynistic comments about the moms. Big surprise.

It doesn’t take a lot of imagination to know that these same lovely people are going through and posting hateful comments on the blogs that posted about it.
That said - I think (hope?) that Jessica didn’t mean Erin’s post. Which was not in the same vein at all.

Um, gee, thanks Mom-101 - didn’t exactly need your help parsing it. I pretty much dug up the link all on my own.
But thanks, I guess, for coming to my assistance.

I give Jim more credit than that, I think he can pretty much dredge through that dreck on digg if he wants to - I don’t feel the need to give it a second airing.

Aaron:

And this stops misogynistic Diggers from visiting their sites and posting harassing commentary exactly how?
Oh yes, it doesn’t.
Seriously. I’d lay odds on the fact that I’ve had a Digg account under a different name than this longer than you have and as a woman? I learned pretty quickly that unless I used a masculine presence on Digg I was shouted into oblivion.

My point was that it’s not terribly hard to find the stupid, harassing, misogynistic commentary - no, I’m not going to go find more for you - you have Google, use it. Suggested keywords “mommyblogger” “motrin” “stupid”.

sheesh.

A very good point Jim - and I really hope not.
That insanity with Kathy was beyond bizarre. Those guys needed help. Serious help.

I have two children and found this ad to be amusing, but I didn’t use a sling. So, maybe I don’t have a reason to be offended. I don’t feel that the ad was trying to offend anyone, but you can’t make everyone happy. Those that were offended need to look inside themselves to know the real reason why they were offended.

We should use our power to make a difference for things that really matter

You know, I don’t know if “professional” is necessarily the right word because not all of the women who reacted - and were heard - are in business. They aren’t all getting free stuff or money or anything from blogging.

BUT, that doesn’t mean they aren’t being heard.

Perhaps the word that would say the same thing and hold the same expectations is “grown up”.

Amber was much less generous with this issue: http://culture11.com/blogs/ladyblog/2008/11/17/profiles-in-overreaction-motrinmoms/

“A lot of the complaints are about a line in the ad explaining how hip baby slings are. This made the twitter moms mad because they thought it was saying women wore babies and baby slings like accessories. Well, newsflash, ladies: a lot of women do. There’s an entire industry that specializes in trendy baby accessories, and Motrin didn’t invent it.”

No. You’re wrong. And you continue to insult the very women that J&J did such a fine job insulting. That you compare women to Sarah Palin is and repeat the condescension is typical, usually typical of men who are trying to outline and set the parameters on just how much power we’re “allowed” to have and in what quarters, but it doesn’t surprise me any more when it comes from other women.

The fact is that no matter how large the “firestorm” or “controversy” this was still a very small representation of women who were speaking. But again, this is typical. A certain subsection gets what they want, and then they begin defining a movement for the rest of us, a definition which ultimately acts to push down. Another play at power.

What is even more embarrassing and even frightening is the rush of commentary trying to control through what amounts to bullying and using the language that roped us in for so long right back at us. Don’t *you* people have anything better to do?

That women are using this opportunity to engage the mommy wars again by defining for other women what issues are important or good or worthy when it comes to their parenting is shocking and saddening. Maddening, really. It’s a judgment on values and raising the specter of The Good Mommy to bash down those who other women feel threatened by through their own insecurities of not feeling Good Enough..

And damn, I thought we were finally beyond this; I thought we were finally beyond the infighting that has thus far prevented us from galvanizing our efforts and moving on to the “big important” issues. It never ceases to amaze me how much women have invested in holding other women down and back.

Go talk to my neighbors. Go talk to my family members. The trickle down hasn’t extended to them yet. Some of them actually can’t breastfeed in public - or at all - or wear a sling without being ridiculed or judged as trying to compensate for some innate mothering inadequacies - not good enough for equality in the workplace, and now that some of your elite sisters are flexing their mommy muscles, we’ll keep reminding you that mothers are second class citizens. But, you know, sucks to be them. The Blogger Gurlz have spoken and you’ll need their sanctifying grace before saying boo and there goes another movement.

Acting like a dimwit indeed.

Jozet-

I preface my comment by noting that I don’t know hardly any of the women here. I’m sure they are all lovely people, but I have no pressing or driving need to know any of the women here. Or to please them. Or pat their little heads and tell them it’s all going to be alright.

I come from the world of technology. It’s a very defined game in that world. Be better than the rest, and if you’re better, you have the right to be louder. If you’re just louder, but not better, then you’re going to be, at best, ignored or at worst, ridiculed.

In fact, that’s the game in almost every industry, even mommy blogging (whatever the hell that industry actually is - is it an industry or a demographic?). The problem was is that there are tons of people being louder and only a few being better.

I guess I’ll let you come out of your self pity world long enough to see the parallel to anyone or anything else in life.

J&J made a mistake, corrected it, end of story. Your enemy today is your ally tomorrow. I believe that’s all Erin was trying to point out and I’d say there are quite a few women here who agree with her, not because the mommymafia said so, but because it’s a basic life principle.