I’ve been taking my kids with me on business trips lately. Insane? Yes. But there is a method to my madness.
Balance.
That elusive word we all cling to. That goal we all strive for. That insane dream.
Originally I had two trips planned in 10 days and bringing my kids on one was a matter of survival. If I wanted to go I really had no choice. It meant the kids were happy to be with Mom and I was happy they were near and under my control. It also took away some of the guilt for the next trip.
However it has to be one of the furthest things from ideal. It’s not practical, and it’s 40 times more work.
I told myself I was exposing them to a new place (a strip with drunken adults, hookers, really really bright lights) and travel would expand their tiny little minds. But really I was taking them to what amounted to a rather unfamily friendly place and hoping I could keep them busy.
It wasn’t ideal but it worked. Of course life, being what it is, meant my second trip was postponed and my husband ended up NOT working this weekend. They could have stayed home, I could have gone alone, none of it was necessary.
I use the term ‘It worked’ loosely. Just a quick stop into the conference center resulted in the kids running amok while I was stopped by various people to say hello.
I looked like THAT Mom. The one with the wild kids who was rude enough to bring them along. I FELT like THAT Mom.
But what those there did not realize was for that 10 minutes of chaos, I got 72 hours of calm in my life. For that tiny blink of two kids running circles around my body as I tried to talk to you… I got days of peace-of-mind.
Balance.
Over and over, before I had kids, friends and family would say “Oh when you do, you just do what you have to do” and I never really understood. Surely there were always babysitters and surely there was always a way to make it work.
No one told me that it doesn’t work more often than it does and “you just do what you have to do” happens 99.9% of the time.
99.9% of the time.
So this past weekend I did what I had to…or really, what I wanted to, on my terms. The kids were the only ones under 21 at the hotel pool and they colored on the back of business cards. We improvised. We did what we had to do.
Balance.
Erin-
I wasn’t in Vegas, but you know something? I give you HUGE kudos for doing what you did. I think it was cool, brave, a little nutty, but actually VERY responsible to fight for the family balance. On their deathbed, nobody ever said “Damn, I wish I had attended more business conferences”. What matters is family. You got that exactly right, and if people didn’t understand, oh well. And I bet the kids will remember the trip years later..
Thanks David. I know for sure they will remember the monorail, their favorite part. LOL
I wish I had this luxury, but I have no one to travel with me so that when I have to work there is someone to watch the kids. Also, with a child in fourth-grade, I can’t pull her out of school because she would miss too much. This is a great option for a small period of time in a mother’s life. I wish I could have PunditGirl travel with me some times, but sometimes that requires even more juggling. 🙁
It totally requires juggling. And it only works for me right now because missing a half day here and there isn’t a huge deal in 1st grade. We also go to a charter that supports homeschooling. I fully realize this won’t last long, as you mention and am figuring I might as well take advantage while it lasts.
My mother flew from Tampa to Vegas and then drove back with us- costing me about what I would have paid in childcare this week. That’s the ONLY reason I made it work.
The photo says “we’re having a good time, Mom!” so I think you’re alright. But I imagine it made you crazy out of your mind trying to work AND wonder what your kids were doing. Even with your Mom there. I got married in Vegas (2nd time) and took the kids. We all had a blast! We took some extra family along and it all worked out. I certainly didn’t feel gypped and it was my wedding! We make do where we have to make do – and no kids every really complain about hanging out by a pool – specially in Vegas!
Yeah the kids were the least inconvenienced for sure!
I’m so glad you wrote this. It makes me look at my own 4yo and 6yo and think “Yea, see we CAN do this.”
You’re a good mom, and you make me feel like a good mom when you write posts like this.
Thanks. 🙂
Awww Meghan thanks. I’m not sure if I’m a great Mom, but I know I can be a good Mom. I’m just trying and doing the best I can much like everyone else. Every so often I just try to do it on my terms.
As someone that was lucky enough to spend the kidless Vegas hours with you, I will absolutely testify that you are a great mom. You were always thinking about them and, while you did get away to have some fun, you made sure that they were taken care of first.
While I wasn’t lucky enough to meet your kids – I would have been a great babysitter – I’m sure that they enjoyed themselves. That’s the thing – the kids do what they have to do too. They’ll remember the monorail, they’ll remember the pool – they won’t remember the emotions you felt as you tried to scramble during #operationnana. They were just kids – doing what they do best – doing what they had to do.
Poor babies. They look so miserable. How can you treat them like this?
If you take the kids back to Vegas, check out the pool at The Golden Nugget. There is a water slide that goes through a fish tank – with sharks in it. We saw it during out photo walk on Saturday.
Time out… waterside that goes through a fish tank with SHARKS? Seriously?
Yeah, I am the one who brought Declan to Ignite Boulder and he learned the F word, so I am right there with ya darlin!
Love it, greatness and genius combined. In the end we only remember the good times with family.
My kids are younger (2 and 5), but I always brought them to conferences as babies, and I’m taking to the U.S. Capitol for a breast cancer press event today — am a little nervous, but I’m excited too that I can share this with them, and keep them with me as well.
Way to go!
I agree…take them with you when and while you still can. When they get older, it is harder to take them out of school because they miss so much. I think it is great that your kids got to see what Mommy does on a business trip.
People who take their kids places, end up with kids who know how to act in public. Sure, sometimes they act like kids. But I just don’t think there is any reason (outside of safety concerns) you can lug kids along with you.
It’s a hassle………..but KIDS are a hassle.
And worth every minute.
You’re right, you do what you have to do. And it only sort of works. But you know what? I think that everyone is the richer for experiences like these. Maybe even the other annoyed adults.
I remember before I had kids, being royally inconvenienced by the mere idea of them. These days I am heartily embarrassed by that. But seeing those examples was also filed away somewhere in my mind, so now I know it’s OK. I like to think that when my kids are irritating others today, we’re also setting an example that says it’s OK to take your kids out into the world.
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one that brought children to Blog World. I was the crazy one that kept running across the parking lot, back to the hotel, to breastfeed every two hours.
I don’t want to even discuss how many people “kindly” reminded me this was Blog World and not Blogher 🙂