Mother of the Year*

My 18-month old went face first into a tall dresser last night.

My 3-year old continues his meltdown marathon today by losing it at SCHOOL because I had the nerve to pick him up.

So, in honor of all the Trolls at the Huffington Post, AGHAST at my swearing and I think the term was “baby snuffing”-I nominate myself for mother of the year.

Proof of my stellar parenting as captured on film and video.

I did not beat her.The dresser did.

And grab some popcorn while you watch this royal family classic.

*…and really, that’s Mother of the Motherfucking Year, asshats.


  1. I hear all Moms of the Year feed their children cell phones for breakfast. You just want the kids to have the GPS chips in them right? Better for you to track them with.

  2. Completely age appropriate. Completely.

    Funny, too… Because it’s not my kid – this time.

  3. It looks like you’re putting words in his mouth! You definitely have my vote, mom.

  4. Hey we feed cell phones to the baby, too! And last night she went face-first into the metal on the recliner foot rest. A bloody lip and a huge screamfest later,and she’s still alive!

    You’ve got my vote!

  5. The temper tantrum is all too familiar in my house. Dawson is the king of throwing himself on the floor. I don’t know how to deal with that sometimes…so I guess I can’t be nominated for mother of the year. How do you do it? Advice, please!

  6. Where do those freakin’ morons come from?

    Cell phones for breakfast? Yep, been there. Yesterday Lil’ Mischief wanted to give me a massage because he thought I needed help since I was tired. So he started, in earnest, with his sweet, innocent look on his three-year-old face massaging away at my left breast. It was totally fondled up in his little hands as he kneaded away, looking over at hysterically laughing me to see if I felt better. I sure did… now, did I just abuse him?


    Damn straight you are Mother of the Mothafucking year! Bohemians everywhere just loooove you and that’s a fact!

  7. Wow, that must have been one hellaciously yummy juicebox!

  8. Hey, I love the meltdown of your older son-proof that I am not alone!!!!

    I thought I was mother of the motherfucking year just last night when I told my husband to bring home a big bottle of vodka for me-he didn’t bc I really can’t drink, but I WAS ready to chase it with the valium I don’t have either. My kids both of them 1 and 3 year olds were screaming in tandem from 5-7pm. I got home from work after picking them up and the fun went on from there.

    I stuck to my guns, and the big guy did NOT get to play with his playdo until AFTER dinner-a milestone of human stubborness the face off continues!

    The little guy got motrin, my Boob, a Bottle, a Binky and a Bath – the four b’s of teething.

    I was however later seen both giving the older guy a tubby while I was drinking 1 beer and giving the baby his bottle while I continued to nurse the same beer. That would’ve been a great shot for the video archives!

    Really though, you do us all a service by posting your videos and comments-I drink to you Queen Mother of the Motherfuckers!

  9. Wow, you must be the worst mother of all time. My imaginary kids are always giggling and smiling – why is it that your tyke isn’t?

    OW! That hurt, even across cyberspace. You pack a mean cyberpunch.

  10. I guess I better not tell people about me dislocating Caity’s elbow last night in a rather ‘rough’ version of ring a rosie!

  11. here is the tantrum I’m waiting to happen at my house –

    by the way my kid eats the bottom of hte sell phone too, I think its like sucking on a 9v battery or something. who knows. Shes killed two cells phones doing it though.

  12. Very cool design! Useful information. Go on!-pharma

  13. seo,ppc, i sell qualitative seo the traffic, to buy the search traffic, to buy the traffic, traffic, i sell the traffic, i sell the search
    traffic, the search traffic, where to buy the search traffic, i shall buy the search traffic, sale seo the traffic. traffic

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