A HILL-uva lot of Guilt

Senator Barak Obama was 35 miles from me this week and I got myself a ticket and tried to get there.

Didn’t happen. The rally occurred Queen-less, while I stayed home with two sick children, but I would have liked to have gone and held a sign and showed my support for the senator from Illinois.

That left me feeling guilty. The guilt has been creeping up on me slowly since the smooth talking Obama entered the race and now it’s weighing right on top of my glass-ceiling breaking head.

Have I betrayed my fellow women by supporting Obama? Should I be rallying behind Hillary??? Is this lifelong feminist throwing away the first, legitimate chance at seeing a FEMALE in the white house???

Given the gravity of what is going on the world today, this may seem like a silly and frivolous thought on my part. Just vote for the best candidate, and the hell with everything else. That’s easy to say, but hard to do when you’ve dreamed your entire life of seeing your gender as the leader of the free world.

I not so secretly hope Senator Obama loses the nomination, Senator Clinton wins, and then I can feel as though I supported my beliefs and realized a dream through Hillary.

What a terrible thought, but I am trying to be brutally honest.

Maybe I should just get on the Edwards bandwagon and pretend I’m not affected by dreams of a first African-American or female President. Maybe I should just, once again, find a nice, white, safe male to support.


No. No. I think my best course of action is Clinton/Obama ’08.

A girl can dream, can’t she???

Crossposted at the Huffington Post


  1. NO HILLARY. It’s not about being a feminist. The woman is not suitable for President. I too, want a female in the White House, just not HER.

    I’d take Barack in a heartbeat. He’s more ideal — and to be honest, our country isn’t ready for a female president. I know that it sounds terrible but it’s true. The boys club still exists in this country.

  2. I don’t care that Hillary is a woman. She wont get elected, between being a former first lady and a woman, and the fact that she’s insufferable. I think the biggest mistake the Democratic party could make would be to give her the nomination.
    (I’m not a fan- can you tell?)

  3. I feel the same as you – I am so excited about Obama, but not warm at all about Hillary. I think it would be bad to support her just because she is a woman without looking beyond that. About as bad as the many poor people who voted against their own good and voted for bush just because he claimed to be “born again”.

    But it is exciting to see both an African American and a woman running…

  4. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said “vote for the best candidate.” The exciting part for me, as a life-long feminist, is that a woman and an african american are considered viable candidates.

    Personally, I feel that Hillary can do more good in the Senate where she is respected and then some day serve on the Supreme Court where we really need her.

    Right now Obama represents to me the hope this country so desperately needs. I almost peed in my pants standing next to him in a bar a few months ago. He was so unaffected, courteous and friendly while at the same time being completely dynamic. He has the spark.

    The best thing about all of this is that I finally feel like we have some palatable choices in the nomination process.

    I’m just keeping my fingers crossed. Let’s all pray the Republicans nominate Romney!

  5. I wrote a whole long post at BlogHer about why I cannot get behind Hillary. The woman is a sell out. I don’t trust her to represent me. While I’d love to see a woman in the White House, I’d prefer a person who I feel won’t abandon me on critical issues to get some random schnooks to vote for her.

  6. What Suzanne said.

    I think a lot of us feel as conflicted as you do, my Queen. 😉 She is unwilling to admit a mistake (sound familiar? like anyone we might know, who is currently parked at 1600 Pennsylvania?), she panders for a vote, she triangulates and listens WAY too much to her counselors instead of her constituents. When a woman does make it into the White House, I want it to be someone I’m proud of, someone who I feel represents my gender well. I don’t feel like Hillary and I agree on much of anything.

  7. canoe chick says:

    Your Majesty,
    I think you answered your own questions, when you said you were a life-long feminist. The dream of feminism is not betrayed when you vote for the best candidate, it is fulfilled when you vote for the best candidate. THe dream is to vote for the person who is the best CANDIDATE, not a “female candidate”, just because she is a woman. If you vote for someone just because she is a woman, if you don’t think she is the best, how much better is that than the person who refuses to vote for her, just because of her gender? We will _be there_ when gender doesn’t matter, and if you vote for her solely because of gender, I don’t think it helps.
    Obviously, as a Canuck this is all in the abstract for me… won’t be voting, and we have already HAD a female leader. 🙂

  8. I think you have to support and vote for the candidate you like best. Oh, well, what canoe chick above just said. yeah, that.

    I just posted a lengthy diatribe about the media and barack Obama.

    Sorry you missed him! I bet it would have been fabulous.

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