Maine Voters Should Face My Kids

We went through this with Prop 8 in California, and now again in Maine.

Well Maine voters, now it’s your turn. I want you to explain to my children why some people have more rights than others. I want you to explain to two, angelic faces why you think it’s ok for some people to be allowed to marry and not others. Sometimes, framing an issue through the eyes of a child really forces clarity on just how simple this all is.

But no, that’s not how it will go. Instead, in the morning (and if they ask) I will tell my children how equal rights do not exist for certain people in the United States of America. I will, painfully, attempt to ease their fears about the big, wide, world around them yet prepare them for the harsh reality that is discrimination, bigotry, and hate.

I will try to give them hope that they can be who they want, love who they want, and achieve their dreams … and I will try not to scare and scar them with an “unless you are gay.”

Maine, you disappoint me greatly. Just as California before, you break my heart and force me to teach my children that not everyone believes in equality. That not everyone will protect your rights. And that not everyone believes love conquers all.


  1. :o(

  2. Well said.

    Its a sad day when people vote to take rights away from others.

  3. Um… I did not realize my ascii frowny face would turn into a smiley. NOT what I was going for.

  4. No worries Violet..I knew

  5. Thank you. I’m in California voted against Prop 8, and was so disappointed when it passed. I was really hoping Maine succeed where we failed.

  6. Sad. And infuriating.

  7. Well spoken.

  8. oh how I wish the day would come when this would no longer happen.

  9. It’s insanely disappointing and upsetting. My kids are too young to understand now. But how will I explain that their aunties are legally married but their marriage isn’t fully recognized, even in the state they were married in.

  10. It will come to fruition but I guess the time is not yet. That is, if history is any prediction of what is ahead it will be that like all the inequalities that were thwarted, trying to pierce such a refreshing/black and white word as equality will not happen without a battle. Simply put the use of the word equality and execution of such a word always meet at some point that does not allow for the non-recognition of happiness. The whole point of equality is to let all the points of view stand on themselves, only to fall on their own merits. As an American we should recognize that even if our founding fathers chose not to recognize this issue in the past far too much time has passed to allow for the financial and emotional burden to go unrecognized. At the end of the day equality is to be protected and enjoyed for all and by all citizens. There is no religious state, there never was.

  11. Seriously? Another state bought into Prop 8?

    I never cease to be amazed and disappointed with humanity.

  12. So very sad…I don’t know how I will explain to him when he is old enough. Well said.

  13. Believe me, there are plenty of people in Maine who are as disappointed as you are. The state legislature did the right thing in passing the law for equal rights; sources outside the state who wanted the law repealed spent as much money in Maine as they did in California, which is 27 times the size of Maine. It’s sad but true that money still talks. The movement for equal rights is not over ~ it’s just beginning. This issue is not going away. We will prevail because it’s the right thing for individuals, families, and the country.

  14. We went downtown during the PRIDE festival last weekend, and went througha reminder of what GAY is – that many people we love and know are GAY and that they’re just people, no big deal.
    Then the big boy asked – so why do they need a parade?
    So we told him, we told him about how Gays are treated, and how unlike Mommy and Daddy – Aunt Suzie and Debi can’t get married and some other examples.
    He looked at us blankly and said “Well, that’s stupid.”
    I agree.

  15. You are right. It is simple.
    I hope by the time our kids are adults this will be so far in the past “the old days” of inequality!

  16. Last night I cried.

    I really thought that tiny little Maine would show big ‘ol California how it’s done.

    I cannot wrap my head around the fear. I am generally a real pain in the but while seeing the other perspective even when I don’t agree. But this? No, I can’t even see where people are coming from.

    I saw this the other day on Hulu:

    While I didn’t understand this woman, I did understand better what the fight is up against.

  17. It is very easy to explain. All people can marry, and there is equality on that. However, marriage means the union between a man and a woman. Gay people can and have married (Rock Hudson was queerer than a three dollar bill and he still married). They have equal rights, however one of the conditions to marry is that it should be between a man and a woman.

  18. Omar,

    If you are hung up on what the word marriage and honestly believe all people can marry…you are sadly missing the point. There should be no conditions to marriage. It’s a union and LEGAL contract between two people. Any two consenting adults. And trying to frame it as being equal because SURE a gay guy COULD marry a woman is dishonest and frankly, insulting.
    Equal rights for everyone.

  19. I wrote about Prop8 when CA chose to enforce it. This is sad and slightly frightening to me that my kids, if they are gay, would have to face so much ignorance and bigotry, such as people like Omar! REALLY?!?!?

  20. Amazing how simple it is, really. I usually get so angry about this kind of stuff, but right now, it’s just making me sad sad sad. How do you not get tired fighting the good fight over and over and over?

  21. Although I am happy that the state I live in made it into your blog, I am disappointed as to why. This is simply not as black and white as you explain it to be. As a notary public/justice of the peace in Maine I have a concern about the wait this was written. Basically, it states that I CAN be sued if I choose not to marry two gay people(regardless of the reason I give, whether it is sincere or not) and this worries me. What if my schedule really is full, or I don’t feel this couple should be married, or I just simply choose not to marry them? Unfortunately, we are a county of people that like to sue others and it is really sad. For the record, I would be happy to “marry” anyone and if the wording were change my vote would have been different. This isn’t as simple as equality. I believe in equality…absolutely!

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