Candles and Pink Coats

Someone is going to have to rent a storage unit when I die and move all my shit into it’s sorry, cement walls because my husband does not know which candle in our house was used during our wedding.

Ok let me back up.

Everyone needs to stop, find those they love, and explain to them what they want when they die. This might be as simple as what to do with your jewelry, to what you would prefer happen to your children after you are gone.

Morbid, I know…but necessary, even if you are not facing a life threatening disease.

Which leads me to what I want, and how you all will need to force my husband to keep everything I own until it can be properly sorted, because he’s going to throw away our wedding candle.

You see we have been having these important conversationsĀ and the other night I expressed to him that I didn’t want him to throw anything of mine away. I mean, I don’t want him to go all Hoarders on everyone, but that he needed to hold on to nearly everything so that when the kids are older and wiser they can sort through it all and decide what they would like.

This lead him to looking at me with that look he always gives me, the one that is half ‘you are insane, woman’ and half ‘go on.. go on…because I’m going to totally make fun of you once you finish explaining.’ THEN he proceeded to say something like ‘that’s crazy… I mean, like that candle over there, I’m totally throwing that out’ … which lead me to screech something like ‘YOU MEAN OUR WEDDING CANDLE??!!!!’ which made his face drop slightly, realizing he had no clue that was our wedding candle and he was busted, before blubbering some nonsense about me having too many candles around the house and how the hell was he supposed to know…blah blah blah. Thus totally confirming my suspicions that I need a storage facility for all my things to be kept in after I die.

Is this all making sense yet?

Let me take another deep breath and try again.

See that pink coat I am wearing in the photo above? I had been teasing my friend Gregg that I was going to will him that coat upon my death, because he got such a kick out of my purchase and subsequent flaunting of said coat. It amused him greatly that not only would I just up and buy an obnoxious, vintage, hot pink house coat with a faux fur collar and broach…but then wear it out to an event where he could snap photos of me in the monstrosity. It made him laugh. And it made him laugh even more that he could take that picture you see up there, complete with me drinking a dirty martini.

This morning I woke up to find out Gregg lost his battle with cancer.

Gregg who was supposed to be the one to take the obnoxious pink coat off my hands when it was my turn to leave this world.

My wedding candle sits on my dresser. The pink coat remains in my closet. And everyone needs to have these conversations, because sometimes you wake up and the whole world has changed.

Now I’m off to rent that storage facility…unless one of you promises to do it for me.

Gregg, I will miss the hell out of you my friend.


  1. You look beautiful in that coat.

    I’m so sorry about your dear friend </3

  2. Wow…another moment of awesome followed by the shedding of tears! So sorry for your loss…

  3. I love that coat. It’s fabulous!

    I’m so sorry about your friend.

  4. Queen of Snark says:

    So sorry for the loss of your friend. Cancer truly does suck. I lost my mom to cancer 4 years ago last Dec 13. Not a day goes by I don’t think of her. The crying doesn’t happen near as often as it used to, but it does have its moments. It sneaks up on me out of nowhere. Like Wednesday, when I opened the box containing my son’s graduation announcements. or now, as I type this. Cancer can bite my fat ass.

    BTW? The coat is FABULOUS. I am a tad jealous.

  5. Mark the bottom of everything with where/why it came from, and who it goes to when the time comes…I think about it a lot, but have not voiced it out loud…oh yeah, and I love the decadent coat too! #1makeawill

  6. Beautifully poignant Erin

  7. So sorry about your friend, this was a touching post. My Mom made a list of her important jewelry and divided it up between my sister and I, and I was glad she did – it was one less thing my Dad had to worry about.

  8. Seriously, fuck cancer. I wish I could give you a hug right now.

    As for dividing up stuff, making lists always helps. And you can totally mark everything with stickers. (Stickers make everything easier.)

  9. Things I have myself thought about but can’t seem to bring myself to make a plan.

    You are just fabulous, in every way.

  10. I will totally rent the storage facility, but I may have to use Megan’s bail money to do it.

  11. Erin,

    I’m so sorry about Greg. You know he’s still cracking up at your pink housecoat. I lost one of my oldest friends just a few weeks ago. She was 34 and had been fighting breast cancer for 7 years. She was amazing and had a 2 year old daughter. Cancer is such an asshole.

    P.S. I love your coat.

  12. Erin, I love it, and I know that Gregg would have as well. I love the coat, and especially that you are drinking a martini. Did you wear maribou slippers?

    Gregg was a wonderful man, andI love your tribute to him.

  13. I’m sorry for your loss. The coat is fabulous. I agree. A storage unit.

  14. Aunt Marilyn says:

    Love the coat. Get it out of the closet and wear it in HONOR of Gregg!
    (You could will it to me. I’ll wear it.)

    What a great photo!

  15. Oh damn. Damn damn damn.
    I was scrolling down to find something Erin – and I saw this post and the title and thought “oh, this must be from that night with the candles…” and almost kept scrolling because I was sure that while I had missed the post, I hadn’t missed the event.
    But that picture with the pink coat – I hadn’t ever seen it before. Captivating. I wanted to know what I had missed.

    What I had missed was that the reason “Gregg Gallagher” sounded familiar was because he was @fstop23

    There aren’t enough damns in the world. I didn’t know. I’m crying now. And it just sucks ass how many frakking brilliant, talented, amazing, creative, beloved people just keep slipping out of this world while so many truly evil people linger around for years causing wars and brutalizing the innocent.

    Hang on to the coat no matter how things roll out. Your daughter will want it. Trust me.

  16. When my Dad died 10 years ago I became obsessed with getting my things in order because his were not. He’d had 4 wives, and mementos from them all.

    I begged all my friends to get their stuff in order. Make lists. Tell people what you want them to have in case you die.

    I’m now on the brink of not knowing where I’ll be living after June 30. And once again I looked around and mentally made notations of what to put in storage, give away or sell.

    It makes me feel better even tho my future is cloudy.

    And your pink coat? Probably the best coat I’ve ever seen. Ever.

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