Hey Ann Romney & Conservative Women- THANK a Feminist

I’ve had treatment the past two weeks and have largely not had the energy to fight this RIDICULOUS ‘Mommy Wars’ battle going on with the Hilary Rosen/Ann Romney remarks.

Oh I’ve had plenty to say, believe me…but when you’ve had an iv in your arm for a few days AND you have to fight with your disability company (wait, they are not my disability company YET…they simply took money out of my paycheck for years…but now that I need them we shall see if they are TRULY my disability company) AND raise two children while your husband works long hours…the absolute STUPIDITY on tv and radio has to wait.

But now that I’ve had some time to rest and the kids are off for the weekend and my husband is home, let me jump into the deep end: Ann Romney’s husband’s record on ‘women’s issues’ SUCKS and I have been a stay at home Mom AND a work out of the home Mom. Hilary Rosen has a very valid point when she questions if the Romney’s understand the average family:

Now let’s be clear on one thing. I have no judgements about women who work outside the home vs. women who work in the home raising a family. I admire women who can stay home and raise their kids full-time. I even envy them sometimes. It is a wonderful luxury to have the choice. But let’s stipulate that it is NOT a choice that most women have in America today.

Why does this even matter? It matters purely because Mitt Romney put the issue of his wife’s views squarely on the table.

You caught that, right? This is NOT a choice that most women have in America today. And she is RIGHT. I’m fighting like all hell for my disability because we NEED MY PAYCHECK. I do not have the luxury of being a stay at home mom right now, like I did when my son was first-born. And what of the women who do choose to work because they WANT to? The right attacked them as well:

What Hilary Rosen has exposed is a psychological fault line that separates those women who simply oppose unfair gender-based barriers in education or employment or elsewhere from other women who actually despise and disrespect those females who choose to be full-time wives and mothers, instead of entering the workforce.

These “anti-gender” women have it in for anyone who embraces her femininity, maternal instincts and capacity to nurture as their highest priority — postponing or passing up other laudable opportunities to work at, say, a law firm or as a marketing executive.  They despise the notion that some women may indeed be drawn — instinctively and happily — toward creating special and loving environments in which to raise their children, while spending all their available time sustaining and enriching those environments and those children.

Apparently Dr. Asshat, I mean Dr. Ablow, doesn’t realize that Rosen, and myself, were both stay at home moms at one point. And that we both aspired to raise our children and climb the corporate ladder. Something our male counterparts do daily yet no one blinks an eye. We do not DESPISE women who are drawn to be mothers full-time. WE HAVE STAYED HOME TOO, BY CHOICE.

Why is it when Rick Santorum suspends his campaign to actually be a father, the press fawns all over him as though no man has ever put his career before fatherhood before? Why is it that no one has asked Mitt Romney or Barack Obama why they didn’t choose to stay at home and raise their children instead of running for office and spending so much time away from their families?

And why is it that the same side exploding to defend Ann Romney didn’t say a word when Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann made the opposite choice, and chose work over being that Mom who stays home?

I’ll tell you why…because it’s just fine for conservative women to discover feminism and all the wonders it has given them, but a progressive woman is totally not allowed to discuss this on national tv- let alone live it- hence the holier than thou Right shall smite her down to where she belongs! Which is, apparently, the kitchen or starching Mitt’s really stiff looking shirts. Apparently only conservative women can be trusted to make the choice to work or stay home to raise kids, because only they are smart enough (guided by their husbands and God) to choose wisely. We feminists can’t be trusted with such a big choice, because heaven forbid we actually aspire to do something amazing like cure a disease or follow our dreams, and that might mean we don’t have kids or, even worse, we don’t get married.

Yup, those conservatives can’t possibly trust us smart women to do anything without a man…why, that might lead to the downfall of society! Or worse, them having to make their own damn sandwich.

Frankly the Right has a helluva lot of nerve to attack Rosen’s comments when they are waging an all out war on women and attempting to turn us all into Mrs. Romney. And please, spare me the ‘there is no real war on women’ crap because we females have been allowed to attend school and learn now for some time and we’re capable of calling bullshit when we see it.

We’re also capable of THANKING the feminists who came before us, giving us the CHOICE to be whatever we want to be- from a mother to a scientist to an elected official.

Maybe that is something conservative women should try, instead of fighting us. THANK your feminist sisters. Thank them for allowing you to take that job outside the home when your husband gets laid off. Thank them for allowing you to pick up that part-time job while you home school your kids.Thank them for helping to push through legislation that will get them equal pay for equal work, and legislation that will support their needs while they attempt to juggle parenthood and having a career. And when you are done thanking them, take a step back and realize how different they all are.

Some are choosing to have children later in life, so they can see their dreams of becoming a teacher or farmer or doctor realized first. Others are choosing to have children as they attend school, and then go after their dream career while their partner stays home to raise the kids. And still others are choosing to remain childfree, instead focusing their lives on the many other things they have dreamt of forever.

Hilary Rosen and I have both been raising our children and working in politics, huh…sounds rather similar to Ann Romney who is on my tv right now, stumping for her husband.

Imagine that.

I wonder if she has thanked a feminist?


Thanks But No Thanks John Derbyshire, the Mommybloggers Don’t Want You

Mommyblogging can be a tough business.

What with our many views on how to raise children from breast or bottle to co-sleeping or crying it out.

From time to time other bloggers seem to think they can get in on the act and try their hand at writing about parenting. Perhaps they are envious of the ad dollars our demographic brings to the table. Perhaps they have heard we get a lot of swag and want in on the action. Other times they seem to just want to spout off about the latest parenting technique to capture that big ‘Mommyblogging’ part of the internet.

Normally I encourage such behavior in the political blogosphere. I’ve always said politics is personal and part of why I write with such passion…actually ALL of why I write with such passion on political issues…comes from making sure my country is the best it can be for my family.

However, in the case of National Review Online blogger John Derbyshire, I would recommend he immediately quit Mommyblogging.

It seems he took a crack at it the other day, and as a professional Mommyblogger I’d like to nominate we not only not let him into the club, but we pretty much ban him from ever coming near our part of the internet again. Derbyshire wrote a piece about having a “talk” with his children, as many of us have, after the shooting of Trayvon Martin:

Avoid concentrations of blacks not all known to you personally.

(10b)Stay out of heavily black neighborhoods.

(10c) If planning a trip to a beach or amusement park at some date, find out whether it is likely to be swamped with blacks on that date (neglect of that one got me the closest I have ever gotten to death by gunshot).

(10d) Do not attend events likely to draw a lot of blacks.

(10e) If you are at some public event at which the number of blacks suddenly swells, leave as quickly as possible.

(10f) Do not settle in a district or municipality run by black politicians.

(10g) Before voting for a black politician, scrutinize his/her character much more carefully than you would a white.

Now if only I actually had the power to make sure Derbyshire truly couldn’t join the Mommyblogging club…sadly, I don’t. His political writing, in crossing into the parentsphere, is nothing but a racist rant. Not really how you want to make your Mommyblogging debut. Clearly Derbyshire took my “politics is personal” mantra to heart, talking with his children about a very heated, and currently very political topic…he just sucks at it.

I hope Derbyshire doesn’t take my critique of his Mommyblogging too personally. Many have tried and failed. Blogging about parenting is not for everyone, and considering the “talk” this man had with his children, it seems parenting is not for everyone either.



Thanking Breitbart? The Cyber-Lyching of a President

I’m proud of the team at Big Journalism or Breitbart.com or whatever they are calling it these days. They are tackling a very important racial issue. It’s called Critical Race Theory– and they have introduced it to an audience who many never have heard of it otherwise. Yup, white Fox News viewers in middle America now are hearing about this ‘radical’ theory that was introduced by Professors Derrick Bell and Alan Freeman. Conservatives have set their sights on Bell.

Now, it’s obvious their intentions of showing everyone Critical Race Theory is to somehow chip away at the President and his bid to be re-elected. At least that is how they see it. I see it as educating what seems to be a rather racially uneducated group on a very complex theory that they may dismiss or they may, actually, let sink in and compare with what they SEE in every day life. People of color being stopped by police. People of color being targeted to show their ‘papers’- people of color who have spent their entire lives assumed as criminals, whether they walk into a store or walk down a white neighborhood’s sidewalk.

Just this week we’ve had another instance of CRT in action. And it’s killed a child.

Of course the Breitbart folks are trying to frame CRT very differently than any sane person might. They are calling black professors racist and calling anyone who believes this theory has merit racist. Yes, white privilege at it’s finest. (that’s sarcasm, which I have found I need to point out because some people don’t catch it)

However, my hope is they continue to study CRT. They continue to read and read and read and see, with their eyes and their heart, the truth that has been sprawled out before them. They can learn so very much from Professor Bell and their President. By all accounts (except those you’ll find by political types trying to take down the President) Professor Bell was not a firebrand, he spoke calmly and logically regarding race. If you take a look at ColorLines some of his former students are beginning to come forward and share their stories.

History has a way of showing us the right path- and students and colleagues at Harvard, as well as Bell’s books and writings, all indicate his dedication and lack of ‘radicalism’ on the matter. While some might call the idea that racism is inherent in the law and legal system as ‘controversial’ I can’t possibly conceive how anyone could call the idea ‘radical’ or ‘racist.’ We have been witness to racism in the legal system since it’s inception. We are WATCHING IT HAPPEN before our eyes, and grew up watching it happen. Denying these very simple truths is like denying the sky is blue or water is wet. Turing it around to make those who point it out the ‘racists’ is just plain evil. Unabashedly evil. And also horribly dangerous.

Here you have a community that has been enslaved, and treated as far from equal since the day they were forced here on those boats and we have the nerve to trot out political arguments calling this community RACIST. How far have we fallen? How horribly backwards have we become? At what point do the conservative pundits we see on CNN and Fox and MSNBC stop and look at themselves and realize they have crossed a line that makes half the population shudder. This isn’t a game people. This is not a ‘vetting’ this is a cyber-LYNCHING. Yes, I realize that is a loaded word, but what you are doing is nothing short of attempting to cyber-LYNCH a President and the people he has known throughout his life because of RACE. You, the people who swear race has nothing to do with any of this, are now using it. Oh, the irony.

You may not be hanging a noose on a tree, but you are certainly trying to use your WHITE PRIVILEGE to tackle a complex racial theory and use it against our first African-American President. Not only have you shown your true colors (something us Leftists have been saying was behind this all along) you have now displayed for the world your ignorance on the subject of race. Crying reverse racism in a world where you don’t have to worry about being shot accidentally by a neighborhood watch captain. Where you certainly don’t fit the profile for 10% of the population being locked up. Where instead of having a civil discussion about race and institutionalized racism you attempt to score political points with cheap shots, incorrect information, and you dare call those who fought for equality racists. Think about that for just a second. Let it sink in. You are calling people who FOUGHT for EQUALITY – and I mean FOUGHT… not some slacktavist online petition… I mean gave their LIVES and their PAYCHECKS (maybe that is something that might hit home for you more) in order to make sure others had opportunities most white people had.

I simply ask this: Have you taken a stand for racial equality in your life? I mean real racial equality, not that your white ass isn’t inconvenienced by some black activism. I mean diversity. Have you demanded diversity at your workplace? Do you even believe diversity is important? Have you given up six figures or more because of what you believe? Can you honestly say to me that we, as Americans, are at a point where old black men can be deemed racist for documenting our country’s history of criminalizing blacks and giving their LIVES to make sure the next generation of African-Americans have better opportunities?

I had an interesting discussion with my brother the other day. We were recalling how we grew up, and our family and friends. Family and friend we still love dearly despite their flaws, as they love us despite ours. We were agreeing that all this political talk of racial ‘code’ words and what not was entirely true. Because we know you. We know those family and friends. We were present when they made those racially tinged jokes and elbowed their buddies. We were at the dinner table when they use the N word, laughed about the n*gger that got shot (it was deserved, of course) and listened as they bitched about those n*ggers getting into school and taking a white man’s spot at work. We were there when you laughed and high-fived after hearing some black kid was beat for being in the wrong neighborhood, or looking at one of ‘your’ women. We have been there all along, and we know who you are, how you operate, and the way you really think. So when we attended college or learned of CRT, it wasn’t a surprise to us…it was confirmation of what we’ve seen our entire lives as privileged white kids. It confirmed the stories our uncles told at Thanksgiving about police offices, or judges, or other public servants. It confirmed the way our aunts acted when they saw anyone of color walking down their block or in ‘their’ mall. And it certainly confirmed how they looked at us when we dared question the status quo.

I’ve been called a n*gger lover my whole life because when I was a tween I picked up and read Malcom X’s autobiography. I dared encouraged my cousin to hang a poster of Michael Jordan on her wall. I wrote in school newspapers that our all white school needed to celebrate MLK Day just like the schools on the other side of the railroad track. I stood up and demanded diversity, equality, and racial justice in my teens. Because as my brother and I noticed then, and still notice now, CRT is alive and well in many parts of the nation. We see it. We feel it. We’ve LIVED IT, so denying it now seems not only ridiculous but evil. It’s also rather stupid to deny something we’ve witnessed our entire lives. So if we’ve seen it from OUR side of the white experience, imagine how this feels to the millions of African-Americans in cities across the country who have lived it.

You may want to rewrite history, but you can’t. You may want to play victim, but I’m sorry…when your race is enslaved and then kept down for generations- be it by Jim Crow or segregation or what you are doing NOW, then we’ll talk about YOU being the victim. Until then your role is to STFU and help make it better. Tip: helping to make it better does NOT include saying YOU are the victim of racism when clearly you are a spoiled, white, brat.

Sorry, that’s me with name calling. Professor Bell would not approve.

I just ran upstairs to check my constitutional law books from when I thought I might become an attorney. Not one mention of CRT. Granted those are the lower level classes but still, it’s not as if this ‘theory’ was so prevalent it entered into mainstream law books at universities across the country. Which is almost a shame really, I think it deserves a mention. It’s clearly part of our legal fabric.

Which, I suppose, makes me some sort of radical for even bringing it up. But let’s be honest here, the radicals are not the well-educated professors, working hard for equality. Nor are they the students standing up for diversity. And the radical is certainly not our President who hugged and stood up for racial justice. I’m also not a radical for seeing the theory in action and substantiating that it exists. The radicals are those conservatives whining that they are the victims of reverse racism. The radicals are those who claim to be vetting in their cyber-lynching. The radicals are those who do not understand diversity, equality, CRT, racial injustice, and generations of struggle. While these radicals at Breitbart.com and otherwise brought up CRT to score political points, I am hoping their efforts educate the NASCAR Dad and Soccer Mom on a struggle they might not have otherwise realized: the struggle of people of color in modern day America- and how radicals like those conservatives are using racism to keep the struggle difficult and alive.

I do not pretend to even understand what a person of color’s experience is like. Those who have set their sights on taking down the President, via racism and racial politics, need to humble themselves as well. To play politics is one thing, to act as though they not only understand but know better about the black or person of color experience is another.

The cyber-lynching ends now, where the discussion of Critical Race Theory and other racial issues begin. Let’s turn this into an education of the American people in honor of Professor Bell and his work. Let’s turn this into a teaching moment on race, and THANK those who brought it up so that we may have a real discussion on what is or isn’t true about the black (or person of color) experience and racism. Let’s use the President’s hug of Professor Bell as a jumping off point to HUG the real radicals spreading hate and thank them. Now the average, white, Fox News viewer can ponder Critical Race Theory and what happens at their dinner table. What happens at their workplace. What happens when their family and friends joke and high five. Because in their hearts, and around their kitchen tables…they know the truth. And so do we.

Of Dogs & GOP Compassion

It’s no secret I’m not a fan of any of the GOP candidates for president and I will be working hard to re-elect President Obama. But there is something really, really bothering me about Mitt Romney, and I can’t shake it from my head.

I heard it as a rumor at first, dismissing it like I dismiss so many things during election season…but then it came into the main stream media: Romney strapped his Irish Setter to the roof of his car in 1983 and drove all the way to Canada on a family trip. Seamus was so scared he pooped out of fear.

I realize we all treat dogs differently in our very different families. Some are used for hunting. Others are always kept outside. But in my family, the dogs are PART of the family. They sleep in our beds and eat our food and certainly ride INSIDE the car when going somewhere. I know some state’s have laws about strapping your dogs to the back bed of your pickup truck. I know some people think these are ‘just animals’ that can handle the outdoors or whatever…but Romney put the family dog ON THE ROOF OF HIS CAR AND DROVE AND DROVE even telling his kids they were stopping for gas and that was it.

Apparently I’m supposed to feel better Romney built a ‘windshield’ so Seamus wasn’t smacked by the 65 mile an hour drive winds. Apparently I’m supposed to feel better that this compassionate family man didn’t really give a crap that his dog was in a carrier, on the top of the family station wagon, while the family was warm and cozy inside the car.

Any man like that has told me more about his character in one family vacation, than I ever need to know. Forget telling me about his policy, his stance on issues, his ability to govern. He’s the kind of man who thinks so much of the family dog to make the Irish Setter luggage on top of his roof rack. His dog was nothing more than LUGGAGE.

Yeah. He’s that kind of guy.

As a mother who cares about family matters like health care, education, family leave, etc. I am happy to get into it issue by issue, candidate by candidate…however Romney’s family man bravado and fatherly decisions tell me more about him than any debate, campaign slogan, or press release ever will.

He’s that Dad, and there is no way I want him in the White House or any other house in my neighborhood or country.

Nicky lounging on the couch

Our family dog Nicky…who I would bet wouldn’t be allowed in Mitt’s couch like he is on ours.

I hope Nicky’s type of dog life is way more common than Seamus’. Because any family pet deserves better than being treated as luggage by the patriarch who is clearly lacking a heart…and possibly any common sense.