Light? Tunnel?? End???

I had forgotten the horrors of teething. Maybe it was that Mom amnesia thing. Maybe the martinis. Whatever the reason, my mind seems to have just blocked out the whimpering and chewing and droooooooooooooooooooling of Count Waffles back in the day. The boy could soak three bibs and his outfit in seconds. He had a rash on his chin and chest for christ’s sake and he only came off the boob to get a diaper change. How is that forgettable?

Well, I did forget. And as we enter week 10 of teething with Princess Peanut (see the drool??) and still no teeth, I’m longing for the day she cuts those molars and we have a big friggin party to celebrate. In fact, I think there are milestone parties all parents must have. Feel free to add the ones I forgot.

1) Weaning. Moms only party. Lots and lots and lots of booze. Some “can’t use while nursing” drugs. And all foods gassy. To be followed by the …
2) Boobs once again for play party. The milk is gone and the husband feels free to fondle without fear!
3) Sleeping through the night party. Send the little darlings off to night-night land and then…well…you could party…but you may just want to sleep.
for family bed broods like us there is the…
4) Kids are actually in another room and in their own bed party. Use your imagination. (I’m sensing a pattern in my parties here…)
5)All teeth are IN party. Outdoors. I’m thinking more drinking combined with a bonfire to burn all teething objects and drool catchers.
6) Potty Party. Togas. Definitely togas.
7) Off to school party. This might be my favorite because it involves an old pact with Sarah…Moms gather as the school bus pulls away and drink Bloody Marys until the bus returns, or the husbands get home, whichever happens first.


  1. man i feel for you! i seem to have forgotten that Big Brother Duck had that drooling chewing chin rash (come to think of it he still drools a lot but thats a teenager thing i guess). how could i have forgotten the midnight runs to wal mart for infant tylenol and baby oragel. (“wont my ambesol work until morning hunnie? says the husband!”) We have entered the teething nightmare with Baby Indy.
    oh and the party you forgot?? the post vasectomy/tupiligation/menopause no more giving birth where is my birth control party!! i hope i am not too tired for that one!!

  2. grrr have you ever noticed that right AFTER you hit post you notice that you cant spell? that isnt tulip pruning… that was tuBal-ligation!

  3. Mmmmm. Bloody Marys. Must… get… kids…too…school…

    I’m still on molars. Eight molars at once (well, over the course of two months so far, but no break in the teething for The Squad).

    I also can’t wait for the potty party.

  4. I will forever think of it as tulip pruning. tee hee hee. Hey Jenny…did ya hear Jane got her tulpis tied????

  5. she is so beautiful. Not that your son isn’t handsome. But I have 3 boys and no girls. I have to admire baby girls from afar.

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