It is MY birthday. Which means you MUST play.

As seen on True Blue Semi-Crunchy Mamma

Remember that one time…

Please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL MEMORY OF YOU AND ME. It can be anything you want, good or bad, BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

An example: Remember that one time we met at that seedy bar in Amsterdam? Those boys never knew what hit them when you shot them with your tranquilizer gun. I was so glad we outran the cops, but damn were our husbands mad we got home so late…

Play along if you want!

Its my birthday. I’m 31. Last year I got a big party and diamonds. This year I am just plain old. So play along…or its off with your heads.


  1. Do you remember that time that we went on the hot air balloon trip off the coast of Finland? I was amazed at your base jumping skills. While in SCUBA gear. You are very talented. BTW, I ate the lunch you packed that day. Sorry, I was hungry and you weren’t there anymore. I didn’t think you’d mind 🙂

  2. See now Running, what you are forgetting is the microchip I put in the hummis. I tracked you for YEARS with that thing! (whew knew you spent so much time in Compton?)

  3. Remember that time we flew to Paris for the weekend and swam across the English Channel? Oh my gosh – it was the weekend before you had Princess Peanut and all the Brits thought you were this crazy American woman! (Not sure what they thought of me.) It was such a blast! Then the people on the other side of the Channel were so impressed they took us to a Pub, bought us a round of drinks and then took us to Herod’s and gave us a whirlwind shopping spree! Why don’t we do stuff like that anymore????
    Happy Birthday!!

  4. Oh Kristi, I look back on that swim with such fondness…who knew those dolphins could get so frisky? And the way ou slapped that manager at Herod’s for forgetting to call you Countess Kristi, priceless.

  5. Your Highness,

    Thank you very much for supporting our environmental awareness campaign at Enviroman Says and Support Enviroman, Support Yourself. As a result of Your Highness support, your subjects has now been very environmentally conscious. We hope you will continue you generous support.

  6. And Your Highness, we hope you will consider not only moral support, but will fund our environmental awareness campaign as well.

  7. Wow. Can you slip my hubby an email? I’ve never gotten a big party or diamonds. And in 3 days after Christmas, I’ll be 35. Almost 40. *sigh* Wrinkles. Stretch marks. Gray hairs. Cellulite. Might as well crawl in a bottle and drink the last half of life away…

    Oh yeah, remember that time at that big mall in Amsterdam? The new skate rink? My mom was just asking me the other day if I ever get to see you or your Mom (she still has that spiked collar and wants to return it to your Mom, but can’t find her address, would you send it to her? And she says to say hi). She was reminding me of that afternoon when the 4 of us flew over for lunch at that new sidewalk cafe outside the mall, and then we went shopping before skating. I wanted that lavendar one armed leotard sooo bad, and you got the last one in our size (2, of course). And that instructor, he gave us the last 2 pair of gold skates? Our triple axels rocked! Of course, the skates being sprinkled with pixie dust didn’t hurt our height, but man, it was fun. Did you ever tell your Mom what he wrote you that $500 check for?

  8. Allison you are forgetting the BEST part! Right after we finished skating…your Mom and my Mom took off with those skates. Then we had to bail them out of jail, etc. etc. etc. We really can’t leave those two alone.

  9. Remember that one time I “bought” you diamonds for your birthday and we had a really big party and everything. And then it turned out they were only loaners and you have to give them back after one year? And then you hit me. You hit me hard.

  10. Kaiser—Remember that one time I KICKED YOUR ASS FOR EVEN JOKING ABOUT TAKING MY BLING AWAY. I got arrested, but it was worth it. I hate those damn California laws about spousal abuse.

  11. Remember that one time we went trecking in Nepal? We ran into a real live Yetti and he tried to kidnap you as his bride. But you were so brave, you chased him away, ice pick in one hand and walking stick in the other. Then we hopped on over to Tibet and climbed Everest in just one day. Those were the days huh?

    Happy Birthday!!!!

  12. Ms. Mama. –that stupid Yetti. That stupid, stupid, Yetti. I hear he lives in Cuba now.

  13. I forgot all about slapping the manager at Herod’s! Boy was he surprised! Well – people need to use our proper names when others are willing to drop millions of pounds for our shopping pleasure!!!

  14. Remeber that time we were on an intergalatic mission to Galaxy Delta-X9 and the Krumpleroot freight we were hitching a ride on was unable to make the jump to hyperspace. We had make a stop on Lumpenpickle for rapairs. We got really drunk at the post saloon and then we were involved in a integalatic orgy….ahhh those were the days.

  15. Remember that day you and I were shopping at Target and you took the last pink teacup set that I really really wanted, and I started yelling and drooling and called you a bad mother? Oh wait, that wasn’t me…

    Remember when you and I walked for weeks across Middle Earth for that bling of yours, the stuff you kicked the Kaiser’s ass over, and then you just threw it into that volcano? Man! I thought we were just going to get a new setting for it or something… Last time I go hiking with you!

  16. Remember that time we spent an afternoon blowing bubbles into Bryce Canyon with a magic wand, making wishes each time we saw one pop on a jagged rock formation? What was it you wished for? I can’t remember.

  17. Jonathan just made me pee myself. He does that a lot.

    Jen—Precious. Oh my precious.

    Alison—I wished the SAME wish I always wish. The one about Oprah and new bras.

  18. I think it was in January a few years back, when I happened to be sitting at the bust stop in front of the tv store and you came by with a couple of bags full of something or other. Books, I think. You put them on the bench and then sat down. It was cold, and the street was almost deserted. The sun was bright, and there were little clouds of ice crystals glittering in the sunlight in front of you. You asked me if the Number 14 bus had been there yet. I said it hadn’t, but I was waiting for the Number 3. You nodded and I noticed some snowflakes had caught in your hair.

  19. Remember that time a few years back when we were in the shoe shop and those guys came in and kidnapped us thinking we were the rich daughters of the president of a multinational company. And we had to try to convince them that we weren’t. Then they left us and we had to diffuse that bomb or it would destroy the train full of crippled orphans? And I was all “cut the blue wire, the blue” but you had the knife so you cut the yellow one? Ah the memories. I hope those orphans are recovering.

  20. Uncle Pavian– you silly, silly minx you! You know full well those books were on Evolution and it was the SUBWAY. I swear it was Spring, not winter. And those were raindrops, NOT snowflakes.

    Carolyn, my dear. Sadly, those orphans never forgave me. And every night, while the bang on my Palace window, I have they servants throw out some breadcrumbs.

  21. Darling,

    Do you remember when we had lunch at that quaint little cafe near the Eiffel Tower and the waiter was so rude you threw the wine in his face? I will never forget how he turned beet red and stormed out dripping with his pristine white uniform covered in deep red blotches.

    The manager kicked us out, but not before you poured the escargot down his pants. That was a riot! So when are we going to do it again? Do you think we’re still banned?

  22. Oh Cynic— Do I think we’re still banned? Do I think we’re still banned? You are a RIOT. I can’t believe you could type that with a straight face after you mooned everyone in the cafe!

  23. hi mummy, when are you gonna come and collect me 😉

  24. *bits i forgot to add:

    remember we went shopping last christmas and you left me at the mall? i’m running out of money 😉 the people at the mall don’t find me cute anymore, so i don’t get no free lunches 😉

  25. Remember when we were out clubbing in L.A. and we met Tom Cruise? He tried to take us home and I was all for it, but you in your queenly wisdom put your foot down and firmly said no. (You were very glib.) I was kind of mad at the time, but now I see that he was just trying to brainwash us or make us read Dianetics. That was a close one.

    Happy Birthday, I’ve only just discovered your blog and its royal bloggy goodness. Considered yourself blogrolled.


  26. Sarah–you are sooooooooooooo staying at that mall. Until you are potty trained. Then maybe, maybe you can come home.

    Steph—After having been locked in that elevator with Tom and Katie for 12 hours…forced over, and over, and over again to see their little alien on that ultrasound, you better believe we weren’t going home with his crazy ass! But we DID go home with Johnny Depp. So I’m really not sure what you’re complaining about…good time. Good times.

  27. Do you remember that time when we were cycling along the Rhine, talking about Hans the cute German ski instructor with the bright blue eyes?


    How about Jorge, the bull fighter from Toledo?

    Good grief! How could you forget Jorge? He practically handed you the whole bull in the arena.

    Then, I’m sure you remember that time we danced in the circus. Yes. We had a poodle act. You loved little Frenchie with the sparkling green eyes so. (No, not Frenchy the cab driver, the dog, silly.)

    It’s a shame that Phillipe, the trapeeze artist, had to fall on your head during the poodle/person dance. No wonder you don’t remember any of this. Perhaps one day… it will alll come back to you.

    Happy birthday, Queen!

  28. Remember how, 20 years ago, we whooped it up at the beach in Goa?

    Oh, wait a minute… that was your Mum.

    Sorry, you girls do look so much alike. You were just a pesky kid then.

    Apologies to the Alpha male,


  29. Remember when we went to the prom? You were such a good dancer and all I wanted to do was hang out at the punch bowl! I felt really guilty when you were elected queen of the prom and I was still getting sick in the boys bathroom!

  30. Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Remember that time we went to Hamtramck and ate pierogies, kielbasa and paczkis till we puked? And then we danced to “Who Stole the Kiska?”, and that guy with the accordian was hitting on you?

    That was awesome.

  31. Hey, remember that one time we went to church and didn’t drink for a month, and we weren’t even pregnant?

  32. Do you remember the time we went to the pound for you to help me pick out a new dog? And we found this really cute one, but someone else had put her on hold. So I asked if I could be like a back up and they said no, I would have to be there when the hold expired.
    So we went over to the mall and shopped until it was 4:30. Then we headed back over and those other folks never called or anything.
    So they let me have the dog and just as I was paying for Lolly, the lady who gave Lolly to the pound shows up and says that she wants the dog back. But the pound says no. So the lady waits for me outside and starts trying to talk me into giving her back the dog? Wow that was crazy!

  33. Thanks for refreshing my memory. I’d been worried I’d dreamed that. Or worse, that it was two other people.

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