With all the family in town, the Kaiser and I actually had an opportunity to go together to Princess Peanut’s 9-month well check. Together and without Count Waffles. Wow.
Anyway, at some point during the visit my God-like pediatrician (go ahead and click that…she writes and serves as an expert for Parenting Magazine, head of peds at UCLA, writes books, etc.) asks us if the Peanut is our “caboose” child, or if we will grace her practice with more royal children.
I hate this question. I hate it almost as much as “so, what do you do?”
I always hesitate answering someone, waiting to see what the Kaiser says. I don’t know why. I KNOW what he will say. Its an emphatic “yes” on his part. He’s done. This is it. Two kids. Finished. Over. He has extremely practical, logical, and well thought out reasons to back up his position. Solid reasons. Not really arguable reasons.
And let’s face facts here, I’m pretty much with him. I can barely hold this royal kingdom together as it is. I can barely keep the dishes from piling up in the sink, laundry clean, small people fed, hair combed, etc. The thought of adding another boob-sucker to this train wreck is clearly insane. Clearly.
So how come, now that the Kaiser is scheduling his vasectomy, am I totally, 100%, sure I want a third child? Clearly we cannot afford a third child. College, diapers, what not. Clearly two is more than I can handle on a good day around here. Clearly both my pregnancies sucked ass. Clearly I was miserable while pregnant. And I am not kidding you, when I say I just had to get up from this computer and tear my two children apart while they both screamed at the top of their lungs. Its as if Saint Anne herself is telling me two is plenty.
Maybe its because the doctor told me I am only capable of carrying one more child. Maybe its because I’m only 31. Maybe its because I have hopes I’ll get this two-kid thing under control soon and three will seem like fun.
Whatever the reason, I’m clearly insane. But that chubby, yummy, 9-month photo of Princess Peanut up there makes me want to make sure there is always a chubby, yummy, baby around these parts.
Always.
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That’s a tough one.
The only thing I can say is that wanting child (the first one, or more, or the 15th) is almost never a logic-based decision. Logically, no one can afford them, no one has extra time laying around, and none of us is ready for the lack of sleep, etc. That’s why logical arguments don’t make us feel better about deciding when to stop, nor do they usually work if we’re hell-bent for baby.
Hope you find some peace with your decision, one way or the other.
but, chubby 9 month old pictures are SO much cuter than 5 year old, snotty talk back fests…
Just remember that they DO grow up, and then you want to kill them 99% of the time.
Two’s enough for me…and How!
I have one and could NOT dream, entertain the dream, or be bribed with lots of money, to have another. My clearly insane sister has 4 and I don’t fathom how she does it. I know you guys will make a good decision. I know what mine would be! 😉
Get a puppy… at least you can put it in the garage when it wakes you up in the middle of the night!
If not a dog, then have that third one… just check with the Kaiser to get him on board… maybe reminding him how much fun it is to TRY for one would help…
Seriously though, I firmly believe that there are those mothers who are meant to have lots of kids (just like there are those of us who shouldn’t). Figure out which of those teams you fall into and go for it. Either way, sleep on it for a couple of months. There’s no rush.
If we were to have one more, I’d want him/her YEARS from now. But the Kaiser really is done. So I’m not even sure any of this discussion is an option. More like, me thinking outloud….
uh yeah… that’s how i got into my situation.. LOLOL… I hate pregnancy! But I think we’re done at two, my fear is I’ll go through what you are and have another and another… LOL…
First off, SOS and I once went to a doctor just to get some time alone–we pretended it was a date (LOL!)
We made the decision when I was 31 and after having K2 at home that we were done. I wanted 2, had two, had the final birth experience I wanted, and realized I only wanted to homeschool 2 and pay for college for 2. I made him get the snipperoo.
But…in the back of my head, I always knew it was reversible. And it wasn’t until I had my cryoablation and couldn’t have children any longer that it hit me–I was done at 32. Done.
So, now, I wait for grandchildren. And it better be in at least 20 years 🙂
i want another baby. just one. and i hope its a girl! lol two will do for me.
Know the feeling….sigh….
I know that feeling. Which is why I bought a puppy! lol…
Seriously, if I were ten years younger, I’d go for number three. But, at 40, I am through.
Even still, I get a tug in my heart at the sight of a chubby baby with peachfuzz hair..
I thought I was done at 1 and now that he is 9 I am longing for another, but can’t. Good luck with whatever decision the two of you make!!
Everynow and then, at the ripe old age of 53 I see a baby or a toddler & I feel the tug. I think that no matter how many you have, if you love them you’ll always feel the urge to have another. After all, Mother Nature wants us to repopulate the world!
Happy New Year!
I’ve had five kids over the past 2 decades or so and I’m into my 40s now and even though my brain knows I am done, my heart cannot allow something as permanent as the snip-snip or tube tying thing… Sigh.
Oh man.
We have so much in common in this department.
“We” are done having babies.
But.
“I”. “I” am not so much done.
I hate being pregnant, staying at home ain’t so much fun….
So. Why the hell do I want another one?
Because.
They.Are.So.Damn.Cute!
According to my ever logical hb, that is not a good enough reason.
Happy New Year!
Can I just say that children are never a logical decision. Let’s be honest…if you put it all down on paper, we’d never procreate. It’s exhausting. It’s money draining. My pregnancies also sucked ass. Sick 24/7 for 10 months. It gives you wrinkles and stretch marks, and saggy boobs. And you have no sex for at least 6 months after each birth (and if you did, don’t tell my husband). But. BIG BUT. They are wonderful, miraculous, and a part of us. We had number 3, knowing full well it may suck, but we knew we couldn’t stop, just yet. He is now 5, and although I occasionally pine, as babies are beautiful, I know we’re done. Before him, I knew we weren’t. I really think it’s more about the heart than the head when it comes to something as insane as purposely getting pregnant!
OMG, I’m going through the exact same thing. I am so done. Two kids. Boy. Girl. I can’t handle the two I have!! We can’t afford the two we have! Hated being pregnant. Hated childbirth. We have small cars. One bathroom. All bedrooms are full. I have given away every single baby item we ever owned (our youngest is just over 2). I have informed everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, that I am done. My mother has told me that I better not have another, that she’s sick of having to give us money for emergencies! I didn’t like staying home, finally have a full-time job I like. So why, oh why, do I feel like I want another child???? Even my hubby doesn’t know this, if he did, he’d drag me into the bedroom and attempt to impregnate me immediately while my defenses were down (so don’t go telling him! I don’t think he reads your blog so hopefully my secret is safe with you and the rest of the blog world!)