It was a good idea in theory…

Count Waffles the Terrible, HRH Princess Peanut and I got a “gift” from the Kaiser this weekend. “Shana Banana Yoga” ordered and shipped to our home thanks to the good people over at NetFlix. You might ask yourself, “but Queen, that’s not a gift…you have to send that back.” Right you are. But the gift portion is the fact the Kaiser even ordered it for us. You see, normally the only thing that comes to our house via Netflix are the Kaiser’s zombie movies and “Sleepaway Camp Massacre” the series.

So not only was I thrilled a movie came for us. But I was super thrilled the Kaiser found it himself and ordered it without me begging for it to jump “Dawn of the Dead: Documentaries” in the queue. What a guy.

Imagine my utter disappointment when I was so overcome with the CRAP that is Shana Banana Yoga that I couldn’t even speak.

Peace. Love. Togetherness. Peace. Love. Togetherness. Peace. Love. Togetherness.

That was a rap. A RAP.

Ok, I’ll give old Shana the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this was made in 1993. Maybe rap was really big and she was pressured to bust a few rhymes.
No such luck. 2000.
But the kids and I press on. Because dammit, we got a Netflix and we’re using it, no matter how crappy.
Count Waffles seems interested for all of 10 minutes. Sure, he’s not exactly the age group they are going for here, but Mommy is doing downward dog…that has to be engaging.
I wish I could adequately explain “Shana” to you. She’s obviously a little, umm…”out there” and she seems to think shaking her head and talking “crazy” is big with the kids. And let me just say right now I have a pretty high tolerance for adults acting stupid for children. The Wiggles, Doodlebobps (ew), etc. are all on our television.

…but after the Kaiser sat and watched, all he could say was, “I really want to hit her in the face.”

Me too. Meeee toooooo.

BUT we did do some yoga. And the Count did ask to watch it again. But what the hell does he know, he thinks Barney is cool.


  1. I can’t do yoga at home unless the kids are asleep. They believe that if an adult is on the floor, it’s time to wrestle.

  2. Yeah, I ran into that problem too. Actually, it was more like…HEY! Mom is on the floor! TICKLE FIGHT!!!

  3. Uh yeah, I think I’d have thrown the TV out if it crossed my screen. LOL!

    There is a good YogaKids DVD we like here. You don’t want to strangle anyone 😉

  4. oh god…the Doodlebops.

    I think they’re more evil than Barney.

    There’s no way I could’ve sat through what you just described. I’ve never been one to do the whole “baby talk” crap. My kids have had “normal people talk” thrown at them from the womb. (Which may or may not be a good thing, considering my daughter now can argue her case like a seasoned lawyer…)

  5. If I’m on the floor, the kids all yell “dogpile”, and I get to be at the bottom. I really need a kids exercise/dance video. They all think they are budding dancers, so that would be right up our alley.

  6. He get’s T for nice Try! LOL!

  7. Are you sure we don’t have the same husband? I also have to fight mine to be able to watch anything more than zombie movies and Friday the 13th part 20: Jason’s Still Not Dead Yet.

    I guess I’ll skip that DVD, based on your review. See, it served one purpose – it served as a public service announcement for other moms to stay away from it.

    The Doodlebops….*shudder*. I can’t believe you even mentioned their name.

    Of course, seeing that I get no time to workout, I’m considering putting together a compilation of Wiggles songs with easy dance choreography onto one tape and calling it a workout.

  8. “I really want to hit her in the face”


  9. I’ve never heard of Shana. Don’t think that I want to now, either.


  10. Oh come on, how can you not like it when Mo Doodlebop pulls the rope? Don’t pull the rope! Snicker snicker. Don’t worry, I don’t think the Doodlebops have much staying power. My kids were sick of it after about a week. Now the Wiggles…can’t help you there.

  11. I hate to admit it – but my daughter loves the darn ‘bops (as she finally calls them). Esp. jumping judy. UGH. It’s painful. They are perhaps the weirdest things (even beyond the Teletubbies) I have ever seen. I will say though that my daughter calls my MIL DEE DEE, which I find hilarious. The only thing they have in common, however, is that they are both really annoying.

  12. I guess I’m weird. I don’t mind the Bops as much as the Tubbies or Barney AT ALL. The only thing that annoys me is that they seem to have about 4 episodes that repeat and repeat and repeat. We have found, quite by accident, their older version on CBC Kids. They’re a little less plastic and a little younger-looking. It’s wierd, you look and think “That’s the Doodlebops, but not quite.” Anyway, Ds2’s favorite song right now is Hey Mo, he sings it all the time!

  13. PETER L.B. says:

    So I don`t know how I stumbled onto this site,but wow !I mean Pathetic,this is what housewives are doing during the day? I think I shall go and vomit.One more thing,even weirder than your site ,That chic on the doodlebobps is hot…I would do her in her costume or out.

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