The incredibly Teething (little) woman

You may have a hard time telling in that photo, but Her Royal Highness Princess Peanut is scowling at me. She’s pissed off because of the tooth that won’t cut. And, possibly, because I stuck her in this ridiculous, fuzzy, bear coat/snowsuit. Not that it snows around here, but she doesn’t know that. And it was cold (like, 50’s…shut up, that’s cold for Southern California) and we were going outside.

Her left top tooth is in. Her right top tooth, however, just seems to be waiting for the right moment (I’m guessing 2am, maybe 4am) to poke on through. This has put our little peanut in a rather foul mood for, oh, a month. Ok, maybe more like a week…but whatever.

The Highland teething tablets are not working. The infant motrin is not working. The Highland gel is not working. The only things that seemingly soothes this savage beast is my left boob. You read that right. The LEFT boob. The right one, apparently, does not rub the right spot.

So Mom’s left breast is mangled. It’s literally being gnawed on 24-7. It has scratch marks, bite marks, and even a cut. My right boob, meanwhile, is deflated from all the non-use.

HRH Princess Peanut also seems to think that randomly waking, oh, 40 times a night is the correct protocol for her current state of discomfort. And she doesn’t just fuss a little and groggily grope for boob. No, no, not our little sunshine. She prefers to go from sound asleep to ear-piercing scream in no time flat. No warning. No slight awakening movements. Just sit straight up and pulls you out of your only REM cycle of the night with, what you’re sure, is the sound of a baby being mauled by an animal.

As you can imagine, we’re all a bit warn out from the drama. If you wouldn’t mind a little blogosphere chant…say it with me now…”CUT THAT TOOTH! CUT THAT TOOTH! CUT THAT TOOTH!” Thank you.


  1. Ye gods, I’ve been in that teething hell!

    I will gladly lend some chanting:


  2. If you promise not to tell anyone I told you this…when my daughter was going through this trauma approximately 40 years ago, we stuck our finger in the brandy (peach) bottle and rubbed it on her gums. I want to point out that this may be illegal in all 50 states now and also that she did not grow up to be an alcoholic. Don’t say you heard it from me.

  3. Cut that tooth, yeah
    Cut that tooth, yeah
    C’mon baby, gonna cut that tooth
    Cut that tooth, yeah
    Cut that tooth, yeah
    C’mon baby, gonna cut that tooth

  4. I’ll chime in, too!


  5. Oh, we feel your pain. The bottom two teeth just kind of popped through. A week of broken nights and it was over. I made the fatal mistake of being a little smug at coping with teething with such aplomb…then came the top two teeth to completely humble me and make me bow at the feet of the teething Gods. I thought my nipples might actually become detatched, such was the chewing. Mercifully, they’re through. CUT THAT TOOTH!


    lol Poor little girl! Poor left boob!

    What is it about the left boob? All of my kids have had a preference for that side…I’ve also heard the same from many other Moms. I wonder if has something to do with the fact that the heart is on that side. Maybe our heartbeat is more audible. Hmmm… now I’m gonna drive myself crazy pondering that.

    Cool wet washcloths have always fared well with my little ones. Good luck!

  7. Oh I’m screaming that same chant right now. As you can read on my blog, we’re going through the same thing right now. I feel like it’s been forever, but it’s only been 4 days!

  8. I just wanted to say that I have been reading your blog for about a month now and absolutley love it; I even have it on my Yahoo page. I used to work with children everyday as a photographer;sadly not any more;( and I miss them. So reading about your little “peanut” is an absolute riot. Cheers

  9. I swear to you Humphrey’s Teething Tablets. They are called Humphreys #3. They are homeopathic (I know you California hippies love that shit).

    They are a gift from Ozzy – and they taste good, not disgusting like the Highlands ones.

    Ask your pharmacist. They are not perscription, but they keep them behind the counter.

  10. Poor little peanut. Somehow the gods took pity on me, and all three of my children teethed easily. Of course I think it was the gods’ way of apologising for my son. He is such a butt sometimes. Good luck with the peanut, and try and get some rest!

  11. Thank you for all your teething encouragement. Sarah, I’m off to find Humphrey’s teething tablets. And Ann just made me pee myself by calling her son a butt.

  12. Aww, she looks so cute in that suit though.

  13. I can commisserate – my right boob is sorely neglected and well, it’s just NOT FAIR… WAH.

  14. I’m chanting! I’m chanting! Ooh, I’m so sorry for your left boob! Hang (heh) in there, leftie!

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