I’m doing it for them

Sitting in a strip mall parking lot, cracking your first Paxil in half, then swigging it down with a latte just seems to easy. Too suburban. Too soccer mom. But I did it.

Things got better after my initial admission of postpartum. Then they got worse. Then they got so bad, I thought it might be best if these children and this husband didn’t have to deal with this crazy lady anymore.
Ever again.
But like so many other mothers, and author Marrit Ingman, I went to go kill myself…but couldn’t get a babysitter.

That was me, lightening the mood.

The pediatrician is in agreement. The physician and psychologist have spoken. The Princess will not be weaning. And with any luck, this pill contains magic. And everyone’s lives around here will get a little better.


  1. Good for you! I know my ppd pill is magical. my family would agree! 1 of my 4 kids wouldn’t wean until 21 months. And NO, I am not that kind of mom. Not that he noticed.

  2. I hope you start to notice a positive difference soon! Best of luck!

  3. AWESOME. You have my support. I did Paxil after Brad, Jr. Works like a charm, and helped with the weight. 😉

    Don’t worry about the nursing thing. Both my boys are VERY happy. Sometimes I think it’s because of the drugs, you know???


  4. I hope this works for you. I broke down and called my doctor yesterday for the same reasons.

  5. Good luck! I hope it works out well for you.

  6. No shame… no shame. My drugs have truly made me a better person, mom and wife. Feels good to feel good. Good for you, girl!

  7. I’m glad you’re continuing to take care of yourself. I know you really didn’t want to resort to using the pills, but it sounds like it was a necessary choice.

    When it comes down to it, we often do things for our loved ones, that are really things that need to be done for ourselves. Happy you = happy husband and happy kids.

    Good luck with it, and I hope it helps you feel better! It’ll probably take a few weeks to really know if it’s working.

  8. Yeah, the “take a few weeks” part scares me. I’d like to to work yesterday. Please.

  9. Hang in there, it will happen. Sending you “little pills work VERY quickly please” vibes from aussie land, with the time difference they should arrive yesterday..

  10. Aw sweet girl. Hugs to you. I completely understand and have been there. Sometimes we have to do the things we do for those we love.

    Hugs. Big hugs.


  11. Hugs to you. Here for ya, sister!

  12. Have no fear. I have always had SEVERE depression, so when I became pregnant, they said it was healthier for the baby and I if I remained on it. After being born completely healthy, I have gone on to nurse her with no problems or side effects, whatsoever. I know it sucks to be reliant on pills, but sometimes it’s the only solution. Give it time, you will feel tons better!

  13. I hope the pills work good and quick and you start feeling better very soon! Hugs….

  14. Dare I quote Bob Marley at a time like this?

    “Everything is gonna be alright”

  15. I’ve received a “little” magic from my current med. In the meantime, I keep a healthy dose of “Everybody Hurts” by REM in the CD player.

  16. good for you. i wish you luck, patience, and calm.

    oh, and do you really get your crotch waxed? wow. you’ve got balls.

Speak Your Mind