Baby Steps

I officially have hired a babysitter. She’s here right now. You know, so I can get work done- uninterrupted by small, sticky people. Or, I dunno, go somewhere by myself.

Except I’m not getting much work done.

I’m sitting here thinking about having a babysitter. And how, just a month ago, this would have freaked me out.

Don’t get me wrong, there is still a certain amount of freak out going on. But nothing like the good old days of never trusting anyone but my husband or mother with the children.

Which makes me wonder how everyone else handles leaving their kids with other people. How do you screen your sitters? Do you only use relatives?

Here’s how my screening process went:

Queen went to day spa. Queen got her crotch waxed. Queen thought the girl who did it was very nice. Girl mentioned she babysat.
Because nothing says bonding like me naked on all fours while another woman pours hot wax on my labia, I figured she could babysit my kids.

And there you have it. I’m thinking this can’t be the process normally.


  1. So far I’ve been lucky. I’ve only needed to use relatives or Melissa or her relatives.

    I think I’m going to have to find someone here so I can go get some exercize.

    It is a scary proposition. I don’t even have a waxer here yet.

  2. You know what? I’ve let people DELIVER my children who didn’t have that much up close and personal contact with my crotch before the big day…and it always worked out. I think you may be on to something!

  3. You have to get on all fours to get that done? Intriguing…

  4. I’ve never used anyone besides family so far. Luckily I have a 14 year old cousin who loves to watch my kids.

    However, she is not always available and I think having a back-up would be nice….I don’t even know where to start though.

    And I don’t get anything waxed, so that’s not really an option for me:)

    Hope it works out for you though!

  5. That’s exactly the mental image I need for the rest of the day! (Um, OWW.)
    We were the same way for years – No One But Me can watch the kids. And sometimes my husband, but only after several obnoxious, patronizing speeches about child care. Anyway, one day our fantastic nursery worker at church suggested it and gave me her phone number. I agreed, since she is super nice and has her teaching degree. Figured she’s more qualified to handle my kids than me! (it’s worked out great.)

  6. i, like slush turtle, am intrigued… and stand in awe because ain’t NOBODY pulling hair out of my vaginal area!
    I also like the following screening processes:
    1. Punk rock teenager walking down the street (she has purple hair, i always wanted purple hair, she’s in)
    2. mailman smiled at son when he delivered last package
    3. really liked the gas station attendant down the street… really kind way of handing back my credit card.
    so, yeah… seems normal to me… =)

  7. Ok, so you don’t have to be on all fours for the whole thing…but when doing the, um…butthole area and up…it’s easier for the waxer. And after having my legs spread for 30 minutes while the front was being done, it didn’t seem that odd to get on all fours.

  8. you are a brave, brave woman. I fall at your feet in awe… =)

  9. I really don’t know many people, so I tend not to have many people baby sit. We’ve had the in-laws do it a lot when we lived nearby. Other than that, we’ve used the occasional co-worker of Sam’s. I’m not really picky, but I just don’t make new friends, etc. Easily. It’s the innate shyness thing.

  10. Interestingly enough the only people I let watch Jack are my husband and my mother. He’s 9 months old and the only day care he’s been in is the one at my mother’s church. And they have to sign in, and claim the baby with a color coded tag. And it’s a church, so I guess I should trust them, right?
    (Secretly I don’t)

  11. I have SO been there. 🙂 In fact when I worked primarily out of my home, when I had a sitter in the house (which wasn’t that often)–I never got any MORE done than without. I worried about pumping enough milk, if she couldn’t get the baby down for a nap, if the baby was crying, etc.

    It was all because I was in the house and I could not SEPARATE myself from the child (there wasn’t a room to go to in the house).

    Now, I work out of the house more. and someone else watches my son. And at first… I was hard. I called a lot. I checked in a lot. Now? I have learned to trust someone I pay to watch my kid. But what made it better?

    Time. Time to adjust to the IDEA of a sitter. And let myself let-go a little. 🙂 So, in a nutshell, you’ll adjust. And you’re not alone.

    Gotta run… want to check in on the kiddo! 🙂

  12. Truly a brilliant interview process. And perhaps, you could have some type of bartering system – although, I’m sure I’d want her to “do” me after she had just watched my kids. Although, at least you know she is not faint of heart if she has just ripped hair out of your labia MAJORA.

    Seriously, great that you have someone. It’s a lifesaver – esp. since our relatives live FAR AWAY and mother must GET OUT!!!

  13. Well, when Cordy was in daycare, it was very very hard for me to let her go each day.

    Now she’s watched only by relatives or friends-who-have-kids-and-I-trust-how-they-parent. We should probably look into a babysitter for when friends or family can’t sit, but I haven’t had the nerve to yet.

  14. I’m a bad one to ask. Daycare was traumatic for me and after that I don’t leave him with anyone but family. I’m sure I should get sitters but I just don’t know. LOL… let me know when you figure it out.


  15. I’m feeling much less crazy right now, hearing all of you tell me 1) how hard it is to find a sitter 2)how you hesitate to even do it

  16. Hi! My children (5.5 and 2.5 years old) have been in daycare since they were 4 months and 3 months, respectively.

    We use a couple of neighborhood girls. Two of them are sisters and we play euchre with their parents. We like the parents and know the girls are good kids. Our kids love them. It’s all good.

    The other girl we use is the daughter of a coworker of mine and she was a student of mine last year. The only bummer is, she lives 30 minutes away, so picking up and dropping off is a bit of a drag. But she, too, is trustworthy and the kids love her.

    If you’re serious about looking for a sitter and don’t mind having a teenager, I’d start with the local high school (now don’t get freaked out!). I’d call the office and ask for the name of the National Honor Society advisor. NHS kids are a good group. They’re academically successful (have to have 3.5 or higher to be accepted) and are very motivated and responsible, on the whole. PLUS, they have to earn service hours by completing a certain number of hours of “good deeds” for free. So, you could get a sitter and not have to pay her, either! Ha! Or, you could pay her and she just wouldn’t use it for her service hours (I used to be the NHS advisor at the school where I teach).

    Word of mouth also works well. Ask other moms you know. Ask older women if they have daughters or granddaughters who sit. Networking is also a good idea.

    Okay, this is long. Sorry. Good luck. We’re always looking for a good sitter because we’re DYING to go out and have adult time.

  17. Well then, I say if she waxes your hoo-ha, then she’s been quite close.

    To make yourself feel better, do a background check, and also you can buy her a CPR class. They cost about $35 …

    Alright. Glad to know you’re taking care of yourself. Wednesday’s my day without the sitter, so I am on my own …


  18. I’m gonna assume that as a former (?) reporter that you are familar with all the tricks of the trade as it pertains to state background checks and public information. If you had a good feeling about this girl she’s probably fine, but I’d still do a run on her just to make sure, hell, it’s not like it costs anything!
    If you have no idea what I’m talking about email me…

    Anyway, the only other thing I wanted to say was Yowch!! I’d have to be drunk first… the things we put ourselves through!! I hope the Kaiser appreciates it! 🙂

  19. If my kids like them, they’re in.

    Kids are amazing judges of character. Well, at least babies are. You can always tell if a person is decent by the way your baby acts around them.

    At least that’s my theory.

    I’ve never been too weird about having people watch the kids. If I’m at ease around them, don’t get any hinky feelings about them, and the kids seem happy about me leaving them there, than I figure it’s good to go.

  20. I’m sorry…I just had to laugh. Now EVERYONE in the room has seen your YooHoo. LMAO

    I needed that laugh…thank you!

  21. Ok. I find this a sad, sad day that we have to do back ground checks on sitters. Geez. I don’t recall my folks doing that! LOL!?


  22. Your post was suppose to help me feel brave…. not so much. Ok. Signing off.

  23. You definitely win the prize for most interesting babysitter find!

    My husband is a student minister, so we have a whole slew of girls to choose from. We always started with the oldest girls, and over the years have worked our way down as the kids are older … and easier.

    Speaking of easier … once you get better at reading sitters, and you start to feel more comfortable getting out without them … OH, it gets easier to leave them … gloriously easier!

  24. So far we have only used family and friends, but figure when we move back to SF we will have to find actual babysitters. I am not looking forward to that. And you must have found the most interesting place to pick up a sitter ever! Ever thought about posting an advert at a university? I nannied in uni, and found my families in the career office.

  25. LMAO!!!!!!!! You slay me.

    Babysitters are the shiznit 🙂

    We did background checks and checked references before we hired our current sitter; the others, we checked references.

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