Toddler. Puke. Puke. Puke.
Chunky puke.
No one spared.
In my hair.
Infant scream.
Toddler. Puke. Puke. Puke.
Oh dear God the Puke.
And Laundry.
Tired Family.
Fucking Preschool germs.
Toddler. Puke. Puke. Puke.


  1. Oh geez. I’m so sorry. Been meaning to ask if Count Waffles is still sleeping with you. Got my answer! Is the Peanut between you and the Kaiser with him? Did she get puked on too? Bleh.

    Miss Thing is still sleeping with me, practically *on* me on nights like last night when it gets cold in the house and she has chosen not to wear jammie pants over her diaper, and then she kicks the covers off. Repeatedly.

  2. Ewww. That sucks. Have you invested in rubber sheets for your bed?

  3. OH gross. I’m so sorry. 🙁

    Do you have a ten year old son? I’m so confused.



  4. Nothing but sympathy…

    I have a set of 4 y/o twin boys with a puke-in-stereo feature.


  5. Is this thing on? Blogger sucks it today.

  6. What I was going to say was…

    …the count sleeps in the middle. Peanut is on my side. The Count was in his own bed for awhile there. Then, like idiots, WE brought him back.

    No rubber sheets for a king…but I may start looking.

    And KDUBs-really no 10-year olds here. Looks like another (gasp!) queen.

  7. Ok cause as I was reading the comments from yesterday I saw that and I was like Wahhh??? Maybe it’s the cold LOL… ok. Sorry. You do need the sheet. We invested in the soft rubber kind. It doesn’t crinkle or anyting. You have no idea it’s there. They are wicked expensive, close to a 100 i bet for teh king but oh… so worth it. I’ve potty trained my son. He’s peed so much, until now…sigh, in that bed and NEVER ONCE hit the bed. It’s worth it.

    Cheers & hugs,

  8. Yucko…that blows. Literally.

    Good luck, and funny post…very poetic.

  9. Oh yuck. What an awful start to the day. That’s even worse than last week when my cat threw up on us in the middle of the night. Hope the Count feels better soon.

  10. Ha ha, I hear you about bringing the toddler back into the bed. I was working on getting Miss Thing into her own bed but couldn’t keep it up after I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance (acute dehydration from 4 days of diarrhea, NASTY) after passing out at 6am the day after my birthday, so I made her sleep with me all night after that even though she was prepared to keep going to bed in her bed and the come into mine later. We never went back. She sleeps through the night now – usually 10 hours or more. Fuck the toddler bed, man, this WORKS!

  11. I really should note that there were other factors that fell into place before Miss Thing finally started sleeping through the night again, though:

    1) She FINALLY finished cutting all of her baby teeth – she had a really hard time with that and it messed with her sleep from the time she was 5 months ’til she was 25 months. She *had* previously slept through the night from the time she was 2 months to 4 months.

    2) I weaned her. Until then she still woke up once per night. It wasn’t too disruptive, but quit altogether when she wasn’t nursing anymore.

  12. Ih ope your family is doing better :(…. Hugs.


  13. I still haven’t figured out how old they’ll be when they actually make it to some sort of receptacle before they barf. I’ll let you know when they reach that point!

    I got to clean up the car puke Sunday. Lovely.

  14. This has got to be the best poem I’ve ever read!! …especially since I am just getting over strep throat…something that seems to have snuck into my preschooler’s backpack.

    Love it.

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