The circus is in town? No, just bedtime.

Sometimes I think I am so in my own little world of mommyhood, that I forget how retarded I look to other people.

Last night, for instance, my mother got to witness our bedtime routine.

She was shocked and slightly awed. Mostly shocked, I think.

There I was, on my back, right boob out, book in left hand. The Count was laying on my left side while I read, the Princess on my right-nursing and gabbing.

Princess latches on and off, rolls around. Stands up. Gets told to sit. She yells back “YES!” with her arms in the air-defying her mother.

The Count tosses and turns and runs a motorcycle across my chest while I tug at the Princess to get her on her bottom. She re-latches, this time on all fours. The Count screams because I skipped a page of “My Mom is Great” and moves my left arm under his head even further.

My Mother was to the left of the Count, not daring to move, mouth agape at the circus act I was performing. Eventually the Princess crawled ontop of the Count and all hell broke loose.

My Mom said it was time for her to go to bed, and politely excused herself. She left staring at me, my shirt hiked up now on both sides, baby across me on all fours pinching my left nipple, toddler on my legs trying to avoid the baby taking up the top half of my body.

Everyone was either laughing, screaming, crying, or yelling.

This is all totally normal for bedtime. But I’m thinking a bystander, such as my mother, must think it’s not really a “routine” and more a “whirlwind.”


  1. Ha ha ha – Your mom was very polite. Mine would have been telling me how I SHOULD be doing it, that I would regret later not MAKING the kids “behave,” etc.

    I know what you mean about feeling like you’re in your own little world… yesterday I related the story of Sweet Pea eating off her plate on the floor like a kitty while on all fours wearing her kitty tail out the back of her pants to my sister (who has no children) and she said, “And you ALLOWED this?” I was like, “uh, yeah… why not?”

  2. This is why I don’t allow people to see our *real* bedtime routine. 🙂 Ha!

  3. Erma Bombeck once said that her mother had yet walk into her house without uttering the words “what happened?”.

    I can identify.

    Your mom probably walked out because it was bringing back memories not because of anything else.

    It sounds like a perfectly normal bedtime to me.

  4. LOL!

    Stories like this make me both excited and afraid of having a second child, all at the same time. 🙂

  5. LMAO…sounds like a Kodak moment!

  6. Tears. YOu got actual tears out of me on this one. SOOOO familiar, on all counts but the multiple children. Including the aghast mother.

  7. Oh I love the look from the Queen moms… that’s ome good stuff. LOL… Thanks for the laugh.

  8. Ha ha ha! All too familiar, though we’re done nursing here. Is it wrong that I’m happy about that? 10 months of mastitis and constant demand. I’m a good mom, but Troll Baby would not stop biting, no matter what the books said to do. Your image is priceless though. My mother-in-law would have scrunched up her face and said “Ewwwwww.” She is not a fan of the nursing. She managed to keep quiet about it though ~ Daren would have told her off otherwise. She did say us Moms who do it deserve a medal though!
    Okay ~ I’m pre-coffee with Dora in the background – you would babble too. Have a great day lovie!

  9. You truly made me laugh on a day I only felt like scowling!

  10. Hilarious! Sometimes, it is a bit of wake up to have some one witness to your day. A wake up for them hopefully!

  11. a whirlwind of “you rock!”

    i’m so un-creative today…

  12. you crack me up, mama! sounds like normal bedtime to me!

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