Build A Bastard

Have I mentioned lately how amazing my husband is? Well, in case I haven’t…let me just say the man is a wonder.

Since my surgery he’s been SUPERwonder Dad. From doing everything around the house to taking the kids everywhere from hair cuts to birthday parties.

Which leads me to today…and the Build A Bear Birthday Blowout.

I’m normally not an evil bitch, but every time my husband comes home from an outing with the children, I get all frazzled because they have such a good time with no problems.

What do you mean Count Waffles didn’t have a melt down in the produce section?

Really, Princess Peanut didn’t throw the red ball at you because she wanted the blue ball?

It drives me insane. They always seem to be bizzaro kids for him.

Except for today. When the Build A Bear Birthday Blowout had my sweet Kaiser twitching when they walked in the door. It wasn’t so much that the kids were bad, it was just one of those parenting situations where you wish you had never left the house.

The Build A Bear store was the size of a small bathroom stall. It was the Sunday before Valentine’s Day. One of our kids could care less he was there, and the other had no clue what she was supposed to be doing. Cue Chaos.

My defeated and disheveled husband arrived home with two large bear boxes and 40 more gray hairs. He sat in front of me and talked quickly about the too small store and the throngs of people and the clothing and the kids and the holding of the bears and the holding of the kids and the picking out of the outfits for the bears and how the Princess wouldn’t allow the Bear to be dressed and the Count wouldn’t pick a name and he couldn’t carry the boxes and the bears had to be out of the boxes to carry home but the kids wouldn’t carry them, they just insisted they were not boxed.

This went on. And on. And on. He talked and talked and shook his head and put his hands in the air.

It’s not that I was happy, per say. Just relieved it finally had happened to him. Now we can really share some war stories.


  1. What if he has always just been holding it in, trying to impress you? Today a gasket blew loose and he had to tell you th truth.

  2. Build-a-Bear on a quiet day can reduce a parent to tears. But it’s always nice when the other parent knows exactly what you go through.

  3. No offense to the Kaiser, but I am SO happy for you! The men sometimes have to learn the hard way before they “get” what we deal with daily.

  4. I have to put my husband in “reqlity check” all the time. He went to the grocery store with the kids not long ago and was only gone for 20 ,imutes. He now sees why I don’t take them shopping! I can’t imagine what I would do by myself at build a bear LOL.

  5. I would be very pleased, secretly, of course. It’s called “job security.”

  6. Isn’t it great? Now the men know what we go through! Sorry for the Kaiser, but yes, I’m relieved, too!

  7. Sounds a bit familiar.

  8. Build a bear equals hell on earth. I sympathize with anyone who ever has to go there.

  9. I hate that place. There are squealing girls there. I don’t do squealing.

  10. That place is like yuppy scum heavan.

    So that’s why we got Lil Satchmo a GC for his Vday gift….cuz we are Yuppy Scum.

  11. I love when my husband experiences what I do. He always seems so shocked, as if it is a random fluke that they would behave less than perfectly. Maybe this explains why sometimes I am a tad cranky when he gets home from work.

  12. My husband had a similar experience when he took our three kids grocery shopping. Alone. I smiled an evil grin when he told me the unpleasant details about the outing. *snicker*

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