It’s been several days since the kids and I jumped up and down on the bed when we heard the First Lady read the word ‘Argo’ from that gold and red envelope at the Academy Awards.
My husband came bounding up the stairs grinning from ear to ear and we all kissed and high fived- he was one of the many that had worked on Argo, so this Oscar belonged to him as well.
Not long after the rambunctious celebrations I listened to Ben Affleck thank his wife, fellow West Virginian like my husband, and talk about marriage being hard work. Momofali echoed my thoughts immediately after the awards show, writing “In my opinion it was the perfect venue for him to say such a thing. Hollywood is one big fairy-tale, complete with beautiful people and princess dresses, and millions of people were watching. I commend Ben for taking the opportunity to say that even with loads of money, good looks and an Oscar in his hand, that marriage is work. If it’s a struggle for them, what about those of us with financial problems, average appearance and no awards of which to speak?”
It took me this long to write this post because of that work. It’s been hard to blog at all lately due to that work. Hell, I was upstairs and he was downstairs when Argo WON and my husband won because I was putting the kids to bed and he wasn’t…part of that work that we all do every single day that is the balance of marriage.
Argo seemed to me to be a labor of love. A story told about a mission that too, was seemingly against the odds. Marriage is against the odds these days. Hard work and some finesse is needed to get through. Which is why I gave Ben Affleck a ton of credit for looking over to his wife and telling the world I love and her and our children and our family and yes, it takes WORK.
Because he said what all of us married folk are thinking about marriage, about our spouses. Make no mistake, I love my husband dearly and I am in this for the long haul, but marriage is hard work. Not easy work, HARD work. Which means most of the time I am muttering under my breath to him …. Argofuckyourself.
No one knows this better than you two! Life is crazy and hard and having someone to share that with can be frustrating AND fulfilling.
It is work. Anyone who says it isn’t is a lying ass liar. But, there are so many benefits to the work that many of the hardships, arguments, eye rolls, door slams, disagreements, silent treatments, fuck yous, you spent whats, and I’m going out to get bread but never coming back, become worth it. The rough patches lead to open fields of we got this, we can do this, together. Put your hand in mine and let’s work together to make this work. Ha. Looka there: work to make it work.
It’s funny- I have been listening to people complain about his speech all day. How he should never had said what he did, not because it wasn’t true, but because he ruined the fantasy (and opens up speculation about his marriage).
I viewed it much like you- it put his feet firmly back on earth, walking with me and all of the other married couples I know. It is work. Sometimes hard, sometimes not so much, but always work. Work with a purpose worth working for, even if you really hate the work some days.