Humiliation is laying in a hospital bed, after 10 days of nothing but towel baths, your hair unwashed and crumpled in a bun, your back sweating against the plastic under the sheets…and opening your eyes to feel yourself covered in shit. Someone else’s shit.
The nurses are kind and wonderful. They clean you up and pad you with towels and an adult diaper, reminding you to not get up and to just ‘let it out’ while laying flat.
Cdiff is no joking matter, as much as I’ve been trying to laugh about all of this. It kills tens of thousands of Americans per year and after two rounds of failed antibiotics I was beginning to worry I’d be a statistic.
My UCLA gastroenterologist Dr. J. had offered an experimental treatment to rid me of my now 2nd bout with CDiff, one I may or may not be open to because of it’s unusual nature.
Erin, I think we should consider a fecal transplant. We get our frozen specimens from the East Coast, they are screened just like any blood or tissue or organ you would receive, and we place the fecal matter into your intestines and allow the new and good bacteria/flora to combat the disease.
Yes. I had someone else’s poop placed way up into me. Apparently this isn’t anything new. It dates back several hundreds of years in China. But more importantly it has an over 90% success rate and all signs indicate I’m one of those successes.
This could change everything. My entire immune make up.
I want to have hope and frankly, I have very high hopes.
This could change my life.
I’m scared. I’m tired of getting my hopes up and becoming ill over and over again. But this is different. This is huge.
I should keep myself cautiously optimistic. But instead I have huge hopes.
Have them with me…because it’s all I have right now.